Need prayers please.

[Read2016 658]

I think counseling will help you talk this out with an objective person and guide you towards what is best for you....I'm rooting for you and your children... He doesn't sound like he working towards the same goal as you...

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Edited May 26, 2016 by nyteacher125

[Babbs 14,681]

@@Twinmomma422

Sorry about your situation. I agree that even if he doesn't want to go, counseling for you would be a great idea. Hang in there!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

Time and time again I have seen many people speculate on causes of problems, and they are usually wrong. Hopefully some prayer, some time for perspective will help.

I didn't run out, but I remember one time when the pressures of life got me so bad that I told my wife at the time, "I'm going to that monastery for the weekend and locking myself in one of their cells with a Bible and no cell phone." It was actually a good call. Got some perspective. Figured out why I was feeling out of control. It can be a good thing as long as your not stupid. I'm glad he didn't isolate himself from the kids.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so sorry. Sending prayers and hugs.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Thank y'all so much. I just miss him so much. I try and be strong but I'm so lost without him. :-/

I've been thinking about looking into counseling for myself. Can you do marriage counseling without the other spouse?

You can go to counseling with or without him.

[goosefam 8]

I'm not a pro on this but we are told to go to support groups and such and we have specialist's to speak to.

A fear of mine, surgery date 6/14, is leaving my wife to fend for herself while I will hardly be eating.

Have you and your husband continued to meet for lunch?

Did he take a back seat to your WLS needs? Just saying, I know I need to concentrate on me when I have the surgery but I have to worry about not forgetting my wife as eating dinner is our social time.

I hope things work out for the best.

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[Twinmomma422 54]

We continued to eat lunch together until he left. He was always very supportive of my weight loss. Until I got closer to goal and he got a little insecure I believe. We are still on bad terms. More him than I. I just want to talk to him and be friends and he continues to act like a stranger to me. I'm still clueless as to why it all happened.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

We continued to eat lunch together until he left. He was always very supportive of my weight loss. Until I got closer to goal and he got a little insecure I believe. We are still on bad terms. More him than I. I just want to talk to him and be friends and he continues to act like a stranger to me. I'm still clueless as to why it all happened.

You may not get any ready answers soon as he may not know why, either.

[DSLdiversity 70]

I will pray for you and your family. Stay encouraged and know you can't make anyone do anything but you can make them not do it. Smile, take care of your kids, seek God and leave the results up to Him

DSLdiversity

[Twinmomma422 54]

Thank you.

[DSLdiversity 70]

You are most welcome!

DSLdiversity

[Sugary Sweetheart 97]

Prayers for you,

but when you ask God for things, like a child asking a Father for a blessing, you have to listen to the answer...

where do you get those answers? By reading your Bible! Don't just ask, read his word and get your answers.

You will find peace and clarity. Hoping you get the tranquility you need to get through this tough time.

[melody4him 7]

Prayers for you and your family! Peace!

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[Lynne5767 21]

@twinmomma442

Going out on the same limb as Anna Nim

I have read all your responses to the original post, So here goes,

I am truly sorry for the situation in which you find yourself currently, and Your estranged Husband may have all the

health concerns you mentioned, and he may be involved as you say with his children.....

However, Men often keep their insecurities hidden, He is totally living a

Separate life when he is not with you and has been for some time, and I am just gonna say it, He is and has been having an affair in some fashion, via internet, facetime, or in the real......but I promise you "conversations" are cheating.

STOP Pining away over a Man, who is not able to be who you thought he was.....and YOU have to be okay with that, with being on your own, Standing in the Present Woman that you are.

YOU need to stand up and be strong...get a key to his apartment and a sitter for the boys and do what you need to do.

Stop chasing him, @@Anna Nim, Anna is speaking truth, stop chasing him, calling after him, "checking" him. He is a grown a$$ man, let him think he has it all figured out.....

I am sure you don't feel strong, I am sure you are doubting yourself, I am sure you are looking around your home and thinking why would he want to leave this, leave us, leave the ones that love him the most? You may never get those answers, I am very sorry to say, Many a good woman has been left behind for something else.

I would never want a marriage to dissolve under any circumstances, so I will of course Pray for you and your boys and your husband, I will also pray God gives you the eyes to see what you need to see, the Mind to make the choices that need to be made, and the heart to Love yourself and your boys through this situation.

In closing I am just another woman whom has graduated from the School of Hard Knocks~~

[Anna Nim 196]

Since knowledge is power, I wanted to share a site that saved me in so many ways and I can not speak good enough about..

Let Me Reach by Kim Saeed Kim is on Facebook and Online and writes about narcissism recovery and it's effect on relationships in quick, bitable articles & is amazingly supportive. I had light bulbs explode in my head, the past and the current finally made some sense. Best suff I have ever read-and I have one of those oh-so-useful degrees in psychology!

When it falls apart, nothing makes sense; the stories, the reasons and the equation in a relationship is just not adding up.. this may be what is going on!

I 'thought' I knew what narcissism was, but I found it wasn't that simple. Also, a person does not have to have "all" the traits to fall under this category. To me, it seems the whole Co-Dependent/Narcissism manipulative dynamic is at the root of so much pain.

Kim's site is a total lifesaver!

Good Luck Peeps!