I feel devastated..

[goblue9280 481]

Couldn't it be argued that all of us here suffer from some lack of accountability and irresponsibility? It's not like we woke up morbidly obese overnight. As we all know, obesity can be a vicious cycle that affects all areas of our lives... including employment and financial security.

While I agree with you that for WLS surgery to be successful, one has to be fully committed... the way you put it came across similar to anti-WLS arguments we hear all the time, e.g. "you don't need WLS, you need more willpower" or "obesity is a laziness problem, you just need to stop being lazy." etc.

...being accountable, responsible, and in charge.

Edited May 25, 2016 by goblue9280

[gina171 626]

allyrenee....take a deep breath. You might not like all of what I am saying, but I hope you will let yourself hear it, even a little bit.

There's probably some truth in what shaydi.lane said ... AND some truth in what you replied. Neither one of you are completely wrong, and that probably stings.

You're a little younger than my son, so I am going to say to you what I tell him: no matter what you have to do to get it, you need a cushion of what I call "God-Forbid-Money" .... an amount of money that YOU DO NOT TOUCH unless the situation warrants you gasping and muttering "God forbid..." (life and death, fire, safety, illness...). Money for a plane or train or bus ticket in case someone you love 1000 miles away dies (or is suddenly dying and you want to say goodbye before they pass), money in case the person who pays the rent suddenly can't bc of illness, money to cover the co-pay if you suddenly needed to pay for a medicine your life depended upon, money to pay for that same medicine for an infirm loved one, money to fix the furnace if it dies in the middle of a snowstorm, money if you break down driving in the middle of the night driving through a different state and you need a tow and a repair and a motel. Money for the things you don't plan on....like the situation you find yourself in, where someone on whom you were counting can't come through for you. You have to be able to come through for yourself. If you can't, you live in chains.

When you need to build up the funds for that "God-Forbid-Money", NO WORK IS BENEATH YOU IN THE SHORT TERM (babysit, cut lawns, go on care.com and sign up to run errands for people, drive for uber, clean houses, get a PT job anywhere, take care of kids after school for people who work, make telemarketing calls at night, clean office buildings at night, sign up at a temp agency...). Do anything short of selling your body or your integrity. Because the peace of mind that comes from having God-Forbid-Money is huge. If you have it, no one holds you (or your health) hostage.

For you, it might be $1000 in the bank or tucked under your mattress. Whatever you think your number is, increase it by another 50%. Because emergencies are always more expensive than you expect.

This is a big moment for you. You get to decide who you want to be, and how you want to be. You probably have more power to chart your own course than you realize. Dig deep. Show the world who you are.

Plus....you might want to start a little separate fund for supplements, Vitamins, and -- hooray -- the new clothes you will legitimately need on your way down the scale. Even if you shop at Goodwill, you're looking at $50 a month I bet, bc you will also need new underwear, bras, etc.

You're a young adult, too young to already feel burdened by bad credit and relying on other people this much. You deserve something different, and only you can make it happen. Get out of this mess, honorably. Straighten things out, fix the credit, save more money, get your surgery when you can on your own terms without relying on just an extra $1000 from your parents, channel your determination and anger positively. Let your real self out. Not a sassy, defensive version of yourself....let your REAL SELF out.

It takes a lot of work. It is scary to realize that once you are 22 years old, it really is all in your hands, it's all your responsibility now. But the beauty is, once you do this you will not only be charting your own course, you will have the ability to help those who truly have no options through no fault of their own. And help those who helped you on your way up.

You are too valuable to let $1000 hold your life in the balance. You are bigger than that.

So, LIVE bigger than that. And get yourself some God-Forbid-Money over the next few months.

Edited May 25, 2016 by gina171

[Shaydi.Laine 237]

lol okay well you can take your rude attitude somewhere else because it's not needed here. I have a lot of responsibility actually. I have a brother who I take care of who has epilepsy. I didn't have a job because I took care of my grandma full time as she was dying. So don't you dare say I don't have responsibility or I need to grow up. Honey I had to grow up pretty quick when my dad left my mom. So people like you aren't needed. Oh and I have no insurance or money? Since when? That's news to me. I have money just not 1000 saved up yet. And I have great insurance lmao. Take your attitude and shove it. I asked for opinions on ways to save money, not for people to b***h and think they know it all.

My goodness, you are a little meanie aren't you! *meow*hiss*scratch* My response wasn't intended to be rude. However, since you've seen fit to respond in such a nasty juvenile way (what a surprise, not), well dear, I guess I'll pull out the stops.

But first I am a little confused honey dear sweetie, if you have this great insurance, what's the $8500 for?

At 22 years old you are still just a baby with a lot to learn. You can go ahead and argue that you're all grown up, as teenagers do, but take it from someone who was also 22 once. You are not. If you don't have money saved, then no, you don't have money. If 1000 dollars is a DEVASTATING amount, then you do not have money. If you don't have your own income then no you don't have money. And if you don't have money then you are not ready for this surgery.

To support the surgery, after the surgery, you need money. Saved money. In the bank. And a lot more than 1000 lousy dollars. My copays for visits and tests alone added up to more than that. Who is going to pay in the event of a complication? Who is going to pay for all your expensive supplements? If you can't afford them will you just not take them? What about unexpected emergencies? What about all the new clothes you will surely want? Will you be posting here that you are devastated that mommy won't buy you clothes unless you get a job but that you can't get a job because your pants are falling off your ass? LMAO

While it is lovely and all that you care for others, this has nothing to do with them. This is about taking responsibility for yourself and your own needs. Many people don't have mommy and daddy to help them at all. They work, they save the money, and they pay for it 100% themselves. And I'll bet you dollars to low carb donuts that those people, who want it bad enough to do whatever it takes, are going to excel at their weight loss. Do you want it bad enough to do whatever it takes? If so, get a damn job. If not, forget the surgery. You are very young. You have plenty of time to get a job, save some cash, and grow up. And you really DO need to do all three of those things.

Listen sweetie, I don't know you from Eve, so my comments can only be based on the information you've given, but I'm sure your parents who have so kindly offered to give you $7500 provided that you get a job and come up with just one grand on your own, know you a lot better than I do and have a very good reason for withholding their offer in this DEVASTATING punishment.

Having to get a job is not DEVASTATING. DEVASTATING is getting a call at 4am to learn that your father's heart has stopped. DEVASTATING is having to hop a plane and fly 2300 miles to go see him on life support. DEVASTATING is finding yourself shoveling dirt into his grave soon after. That was my life just a few months ago. THAT was DEVASTATING. Having to work is just daily life. Whining that you have to get a job and save some money? Well boohoo. Welcome to adulthood.

And while we're at it.. do not "honey" me, sweetie. And save your pity game for some other sucker. I've been through much worse than you which I won't mention here. For the record tho, my dad left when I was 8 and since my mother eventually had to go back to work, I was put in charge of taking care of the house, my younger sister, and making sure that dinner was on the table when my mother got home from working over an hour away. I did all that and still managed to excel in school all along. At age 22 I graduated college with honors and promptly got a temp job, immediately after which, I landed a full time job. I never looked to my parents for money. Today I work my ass off, often 7 days a week. I built my own business and am 100% self-supporting and independent with a beautiful home and excellent credit. When the same is true for you, THEN you can call me honey.

Ok I'm done

[gina171 626]

Allyrenee11....you're not helping your case with those comments. I'd hoped there was something a little deeper in you than that.

I hope you find some luck in life.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited May 25, 2016 by gina171

[allyrenee 10]

.

Edited May 25, 2016 by byehoes

[Read2016 658]

@shaydi laine trying to explain the real world to a person with such a strong sense of entitlement isn't worth it.... You have tried.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Shaydi.Laine 237]

@@gina171 You are awesome. Will you be my second mom?

@shaydi laine trying to explain the real world to a person with such a strong sense of entitlement isn't worth it.... You have tried.


Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

She will just learn the hard way. I gots no more energy left for that one. I burned it all at the gym =)

[Read2016 658]

Thanks... I just have been watching the dialogue on this one escalate, felt i needed to say just let It go...

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited May 25, 2016 by nyteacher125

[gina171 626]

Shaydi.laine.....yes I will, as long as you return the favor by calling me out on my bs when it's needed!

Our posts to the OP are saying the same thing, even if we said it differently.

I have a feeling you and I have walked many of the same roads. That's how you get smart and independent.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Shaydi.Laine 237]

Shaydi.laine.....yes I will, as long as you return the favor by calling me out on my bs when it's needed!

Our posts to the OP are saying the same thing, even if we said it differently.

I have a feeling you and I have walked many of the same roads. That's how you get smart and independent.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I was thinking the same thing You're just more... nicer and mom-like than me LOL I just tell it like I see it. No mincing of words, no sugar coating.

[her1981 448]

....and she's gone...

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I hate it when people delete their OPs. @@Alex Brecher Can we do something to stop that from happening??

And can you fix the Op's name, too? She left us an ugly little insult on her way out. THANKS!

[KristenLe 5,979]

What a way to prove you are an immature, spoiled brat!

Sent from my KFFOWI using the BariatricPal App

Edited May 26, 2016 by KristenLe

[her1981 448]

@@KristenLe She knew everyone here was telling the truth. She didn't wanna hear it.

[Read2016 658]

Well I think that speak volumes about her... She came here for more codling... She exited like a 2year old having a tantrum. It's rather selfish she waste people's time seeking advice... I think maybe she was hoping someone here would say I feel so sorry for you a$1000 is standing in your way of getting surgery let me give it to you... The dose of reality you all try to give her came from your heart....

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App