Nervous about change....

[rgme1983 23]

I'm 32 years old with a 5'3" frame. At my heaviest weight I was 423 lbs. Now I am at 339 lbs. I lost my weight around 3 years ago with diet pills and stopping sodas. But I am nervous. I will be doing the sleeve surgery but don't have a date yet. My nerves evolve around me not knowing what to expect. I have NEVER been little or skinny.... At my youngest memory I was 11 years old wearing a 14 women's pants. By the end of middle school I was in an 18 women's and the start of high school it was a 22W. Fast forward to my 20s and I was 265 lbs at the time of the birth of my first child. And over the course of the next 8 years I had gained over 155 lbs. Now that I have kept this weight of 339 lbs I am now "used" to all the aches and pains that have become a natural part of my life. My knees have aged way before me and my ankles are horrible, one of them already being repaired because of my weight. But I am worried about the change. I don't want to become someone other than who I am. I know physically it will be amazing to get the weight off but there are things like my husband not being attracted to me anymore and me being that person who ends up obsessing over the weight loss. I have lost friends because of them losing weight and "preaching" to me or not wanting to hang out because we cant do anything they want to do and family who has had gastric bypass and now act like they are better than everyone else. I don't want to be that person. Had anyone else had these fears? I know I need the surgery and I will benefit alot from it so I'm not changing my mind. I just want to know I'm not alone. Any advice or suggestions? Thanks in advance.

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[Icantbelieveit 955]

Im right there with you. 5'3" Hw 430 cw 379. I had gastric on may 10th. Size 12 in 8th grade. Graduated 260ish.

I have 3 relatives that had gastric. I only told my husband and another family member. I dont need people to watch me and question me.

I never been thin. Ever. I am struggling in my previous posts about binning up my winter clothes and coming to the realization that next winter they will be useless, but feel weird getting rid of them because it feels I'm getting rid of me.

I came to the conclusion that my worry is that when you are heavy you put up walls and huge barriers to protect yourself from the smart remarks, the looks, stares. Now it feels I am also turning on the fat girl and going to the other side that mocked "her".

I will lose weight, I will be healthier, I will Celebrate milestones and I will live longer. But I know I will always be that "fat girl" inside. I will always have my heart go out to people my size because I know the details of their life, I know the daily struggles and I know the trapped feeling it causes.

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[Valentina 2,642]

So, here's the plan:

Copy off your above post.

Put a copy on your bed stand.

Read it EVERY night before you lay your head down.

Read it EVERY morning upon rising.

If you do all of the above mentioned in "the plan", I promise you that you will never become one of the people you are afraid of.

Prayers going up for you, Friend.

[James Marusek 5,244]

I am 3 years post-op RNY surgery. I just feel like a lighter version of ME. Also a version that does not have significant health problems.

So good luck on your surgery and I hope that all goes well for you.

[rgme1983 23]

Im right there with you. 5'3" Hw 430 cw 379. I had gastric on may 10th. Size 12 in 8th grade. Graduated 260ish.

I have 3 relatives that had gastric. I only told my husband and another family member. I dont need people to watch me and question me.

I never been thin. Ever. I am struggling in my previous posts about binning up my winter clothes and coming to the realization that next winter they will be useless, but feel weird getting rid of them because it feels I'm getting rid of me.

I came to the conclusion that my worry is that when you are heavy you put up walls and huge barriers to protect yourself from the smart remarks, the looks, stares. Now it feels I am also turning on the fat girl and going to the other side that mocked "her".

I will lose weight, I will be healthier, I will Celebrate milestones and I will live longer. But I know I will always be that "fat girl" inside. I will always have my heart go out to people my size because I know the details of their life, I know the daily struggles and I know the trapped feeling it causes.

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Thank you for that I really did need to hear that. It is hard because I feel the exact same way. But thank you. My surgeon told me about this app and told me it would be a great "tool" for me. And it truely has been... it's nice to know I am not the only one who feels this way and I'm not being judged either.

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[rgme1983 23]

So, here's the plan:

Copy off your above post.

Put a copy on your bed stand.

Read it EVERY night before you lay your head down.

Read it EVERY morning upon rising.

If you do all of the above mentioned in "the plan", I promise you that you will never become one of the people you are afraid of.

Prayers going up for you, Friend.

Thank you @Valentina. I pray everyday and am very faith driven but like most I have worry overcome me and sometimes need a little extra to help me out. I have never thought about doing what you mentioned. I believe I will try it. Thank you so very much.

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[Icantbelieveit 955]

You're not alone. I thought that too. But a few people on youtube have helped me with slow progression. Clusie on youtube is funny and real. But her max weight was 300ish. Not many youtubers start out at our weight. But if you have questions about anything, just ask. If I can help, I absolutely will. Its not easy and its an emotional rollercoaster after surgery with hormones and people's reactions and comments, so more support the better.

But I truly don't think I will or you will turn into those type of people. I think the people that cant wait to change are the ones that become condescending to others.

Right now I'm very mindful of my emotions and am willing to take time away from people to process and grasp all the whys, how, questions and thoughts I have about everything.

It's ok to take time for yourself.

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[rgme1983 23]

You're not alone. I thought that too. But a few people on youtube have helped me with slow progression. Clusie on youtube is funny and real. But her max weight was 300ish. Not many youtubers start out at our weight. But if you have questions about anything, just ask. If I can help, I absolutely will. Its not easy and its an emotional rollercoaster after surgery with hormones and people's reactions and comments, so more support the better.

But I truly don't think I will or you will turn into those type of people. I think the people that cant wait to change are the ones that become condescending to others.

Right now I'm very mindful of my emotions and am willing to take time away from people to process and grasp all the whys, how, questions and thoughts I have about everything.

It's ok to take time for yourself.

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Thank you @Icantbelieveit. I thank you for the advice. I pray for good outcomes emotionally physically and spiritually.

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[Christinamo7 4,042]

we were all nervous about the change - and that this is not just some whim of a diet we can go off when it gets hard.

I hope it helps to know you are not alone in this! we will all be here for you, and I look forward to seeing your progress!

[Babbs 14,681]

You've decided to have the surgery because you want change, right?

Don't be afraid of change. Life is constant change, and we don't grow emotionally if we can't adapt to it. Yes, you will be a different person once you lose the weight, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as you stay true to yourself. Embrace the changes that are ahead and realize this will be a new and exciting chapter in your life!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I'm 32 years old with a 5'3" frame. At my heaviest weight I was 423 lbs. Now I am at 339 lbs. I lost my weight around 3 years ago with diet pills and stopping sodas. But I am nervous. I will be doing the sleeve surgery but don't have a date yet. My nerves evolve around me not knowing what to expect. I have NEVER been little or skinny.... At my youngest memory I was 11 years old wearing a 14 women's pants. By the end of middle school I was in an 18 women's and the start of high school it was a 22W. Fast forward to my 20s and I was 265 lbs at the time of the birth of my first child. And over the course of the next 8 years I had gained over 155 lbs. Now that I have kept this weight of 339 lbs I am now "used" to all the aches and pains that have become a natural part of my life. My knees have aged way before me and my ankles are horrible, one of them already being repaired because of my weight. But I am worried about the change. I don't want to become someone other than who I am. I know physically it will be amazing to get the weight off but there are things like my husband not being attracted to me anymore and me being that person who ends up obsessing over the weight loss. I have lost friends because of them losing weight and "preaching" to me or not wanting to hang out because we cant do anything they want to do and family who has had gastric bypass and now act like they are better than everyone else. I don't want to be that person. Had anyone else had these fears? I know I need the surgery and I will benefit alot from it so I'm not changing my mind. I just want to know I'm not alone. Any advice or suggestions? Thanks in advance.

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Things are going to change. You can choose to get better or you can wait and let things get worse.