Do certain comments bother you?

[Learningtolive 109]

I get comments lately like "Oh you are so skinny" "You are melting" or "What is your secret?" I hate it. It makes me want to have an eating disorder, just being honest. I've talked with my therapist about these thoughts. It especially bothers me when it comes from ppl who don't know I had the surgery. And no, I'm still eating and drinking as I should, so don't worry about that. I'm just saying, I hate the comments. Like suddenly you notice and care about me? Please.

[Steph~L~16 168]

Yes for me it is kind of annoying. I still have at least 100 more pounds to lose, so I can only imagine the "you are TOO skinny" comments that are on the way. I have a lady at church that doesn't even say hi to me before she asks "how much now?" That is so annoying to me since I am trying to not focus so much on the numbers. I am just going to have to explain that to her.

[Ryan TN 348]

I'm with ya, I hear the you're too skinny or I am really concerned about you losing too much. Umm, if your name doesn't have MD, RD, or EP after it like my team I'm working with does, just say I look good or don't say anything at all!

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[Read2016 658]

I'm pre-op.... I read your post, my only thought was I cant wait to be bothered by this lol... Would you rather hear your too skinny, how much have you lost or your so fat, how much more weight are you going to gain?.... Obesity is the one thing left where people don't feel any need to filter their comments... You keep going with your success!!!

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[Steph~L~16 168]

Good point!

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[Learningtolive 109]

I agree nyteacher125, but wait til you're post-op. I thought the same thing prior to my surgery and I get what you're saying. I've had both comments, both hurt me to be honest. I have a bad time with anything weight related, period. But I also have a horrid history of my stepfather's verbal abuse and then my mom as a result, so it hurts me. My mom ended up having an eating disorder cause of him and so to me it's more than just ppl acknowledging something, it's the manner in which they do it. It brings me back to the trauma and scares me. But, I remind myself I'm doing this in a healthy manner monitored by my surgeon, dietician, therapist, etc. It's just loaded to me I guess.

And I feel like ppl notice me more and talk to me more now that I've lost weight, especially the in-law side when before they ignored me. Just my personal experience. And of course creepers hit on me when I go shopping, oh Chicago I hate you! lol

[Read2016 658]

@learning to live... I can relate to what your saying as I had a mother who was verbal abusive due to my weight.... It's a sensitive topic for me as well but I think I've just become numb to people and their negative comments.... I had a worker at a store as me yesterday if it was a girl or a boy? I said it's a surprise... Felt that proved most of my weight must be in my stomach and the rest of me doesn't look obese lol... I often say words can hurt more than a punch and leave deeper scars...

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[Squirrelgirl 49]

Comments have always plague me, the have been in the negative. Now that the good comments are coming, it makes me wonder, was I really that bad? It's a battle, when I was larger, I had a great self-esteem . I was positive and secure about self image. It's only when my life hit a downward spiral of shit that my weight left me hiding, turning to a exovert . I'm just now going out in public, I force myself. I feel like a cabbage patch doll walking threw a small town.. yes, I'm working on all this. ...but I do like the comments, there positive and helps me keep going!????

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[Steph~L~16 168]

I must add here that not ALL comments bother me. To me it seems like the genuine compliments and questions about how I'm feeling are great. It is more when they look me up and down first and then say something about how skinny I am. Please... I have over 100 lbs more to lose.

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[4gifts4lisa 5]

When they ask my secret, I smile and say, "Crack". But then, I'm a smart-a**

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[kembfly 15]

When they ask my secret, I smile and say, "Crack". But then, I'm a smart-a**

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Noooo ????...I bet their facial expressions are priceless.

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[jess9395 5,449]

Nope I love those comments! Honestly that's one thing I miss being in maintenance so I love it when I see someone I haven't seen in a few years.

But that doesn't mean you have to like them, your experience is your own. But if it helps, I am sure the sentiment behind the comments is kind and benevolent. They aren't trying to be malicious

[meridian.jpg 29]

Oh my goodness, I thought I was the only one. My thing is, I am only 22 years old and I've been out of high school for four years. Suddenly, my so called friends are finding on fb or in the streets and they say things like "oh you're so pretty" and "you look good now" or my favorite from the guys "you know I always had a crush on you" but you didn't give a care back then. It literally makes my skin crawl.

living my life like it's healthy

[tagyourit 53]

I am a very private person so when I had my band comments were the worst. The ones that really bothered me were the people that they would shout across the room how I was melting or that the only greeting was to ask how much I had lost in front of anyone. With the band removal and 12 months of gaining I don't get any comments but I am preparing myself Pre op for the bypass not only with the full liquid diet but for the comments that are bound to come and I already know who will be making them.

[CHM 1,009]

My feelings on comments depend less on the actual content and more on how accurate I feel they are, as well as who they are coming from. I'm trying to learn to accept reasonable compliments graciously, but it certainly does not come naturally.

I tend to be more cautious with comments from family. Given the closeness level, family tends to be more likely to border on rude or intrusive than the average person. They are also more likely to offer a half-hearted compliment because they feel they should, rather than because they mean it.

I'm usually okay with compliments from women, as long as they're not over the top and don't come across as catty.

Comments from men, however, are a different story. I don't like comments on physical appearance from this group. Never have. Yes, I suppose it is flattering on some level, but that is far trumped by the uncomfortable factor. Depending on how these comments are delivered, they tend to leave me feeling either angry or vulnerable. And I don't like either. Yes, I have issues...

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