My friend and I had surgery the same day but...

[FabFemale 233]

I'm worried about her because she's not getting in her 60g of Protein and 64 oz of Water. And she told me she had some sugar free frozen yogurt the other night.

I'm following our surgeon/nut instructions to a T.

I try to keep on top of her.

What are the downfalls of this? How can I get her to understand?

She has 2 other friends who had gastric sleeve and they've lost over 100lbs.

I don't know them or how their journey was.

We had surgery in May 2nd.

Obviously she's losing weight but I'm worried about the long run.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Honestly, I don't know how to make anyone else succeed with WLS.

I've been busy enough helping myself.

You can tell her what you're doing. But I don't think you can control a damn thing she does.

That's all on her.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

it is hard to see a friend going off in the wrong direction, isn't it?

hopefully that little taste will scratch her itch -

just do your best to be encouraging when you interact - and make sure you continue to pursue your plan and keep reaching for ever better health. perhaps if her success is not as good she will reach out to you for tips.

it really is a struggle. my heart goes out to those who can not quiet the demons.

[Read2016 658]

@Fabfemale... Hate to see you so stressed when your probably trying to focus on your own journey and success.... I've learned overtime, all you can do is share information with people and leave them to make their own decisions. She may have to learn the hard way, from reading on here it seems some who have had the surgery are still under the misconception they won't have to actively work at loosing weight, like WLS is going to be a magic wand. I feel as time goes on and she sees you loosing weight, she will wise up... At that point she will be all ears for your advice.

Stay strong and focused on you????

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[lunarose 97]

I have two friends who got the sleeves after me and both cheated. It is hard to watch but it was their journey and their choices and anything I tried to say was met with hostility. They know deep down but have chosen to be in denial. Your friend will lose weight its almost impossible not to but she will not get the biggest bang out of her buck, she will hit a wall at around six months and she will run the risk of gaining everything back in five years. Stay the course follow your plan and hopefully she will be able to follow your lead.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Just be a supportive friend and do you. You can only take care of yourself. Hopefully, they can see positive results from your example.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

You have to let her make her own mistakes. I understand she is your friend and you want to help her, but you can't help her.

This is a critical time for you, worry about yourself. There is so much that goes into learning your new digestive system, concentrate on yourself.

I have wasted so much time in the past 6 months or so trying to help people improve their eating. I tell them everything, show them everything I can, and they still don't follow it, even though they come to me. This to me is just like when people ask me about how to run their own business. People with the personality and drive to do it, wouldn't have to ask me about it. She doesn't have the desire to eat better you can't make her.

A drowning person can drown a strong swimmer trying to save them.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I rarely lump all obese people into single categories.

But I am pretty sure I'd be safe lumping all obese people into the category of people who put themselves and their needs second to others and their needs.

Put yourself first. Really. I mean it. Be selfish. Practice that like it's a virtue. Come up with affirmations like "I'm the one who matters most." "No one else is as important as me." "From now on, I will care for myself first."

That doesn't mean you should ignore others' needs completely. But when you try to take responsibility for other people to the extent that you're taking on the responsibility THEY should take for themselves, you're headed down the wrong path -- for both yourself and them.

Mostly, when you exhaust yourself by caring for or worrying about others you won't have any energy left for yourself. Many times this is just a bad habit we've developed so we never have to take responsibility for ourselves.

Try living differently. It's not easy. I know.

[FabFemale 233]

Thanks everyone! She doesn't read about the surgery, doesn't watch any videos and isn't on this forum. I honestly dont think she could have gotten this far without me. But you are right. I'm focusing on myself. It's my journey and I plan on being successful!! I mentioned that frozen yogurt even though sugar free wasn't a good choice and she didn't know why. I can't keep trying to educate her. I'll just educate by being an example of how to do this right.

My time as a caterpillar has expired. My wings are ready!