Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I have just had my surgery day 4 xx I told some close friends and family x and think I will see how it goes x I don't want it to be a,deep dark secret. The physiologist reminded me when I first said I wasn't sure who to tell or keep it a secret that I should not be ashamed and I think I was feeling ashamed but each day I feel stronger but will see how it goes xx It's weird I'm OK telling my friends but not ready to tell my husbands x

Sent from my D6603 using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can totally relate. I very specifically asked my wife to NOT share with anyone. I was very adamant and clear. Then she went and told pretty much everyone I see on a regular basis. I was very upset, and it definitely caused issues at our house. There was literally only one set of friends she didn't tell. Then, about 2 weeks after this all blew up, she went and told those people as well. I am beyond upset.

I think betrayal is a very adequate word for what I feel.

It's less about the fact that people know. In the end, it's not that big of deal if people know. But I didn't ask my wife not to share because it was a big deal. I asked her not to share because I am a very private person and don't want everyone knowing my business. It's a betrayal because I very clearly asked the person closest to me in life to respect me and my wishes about my medical issues. She agreed, then she violated that trust over and over and over. It has become a trust issue. If you can't trust someone to not share what you explicitly ask them not to share, how can you trust they show any discretion around things you don't specifically ask them not to share.

Even going to a therapist to work this out, I have no faith she isn't sharing everything I say in therapy to everyone I know. And to feel like me asking her not to doesn't really make any difference, it certainly didn't in this case.

Yeah, betrayal is an accurate term.

That's to bad, some people just don't seem to understand. I hope things get better ????

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930AZ using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have just had my surgery day 4 xx I told some close friends and family x and think I will see how it goes x I don't want it to be a,deep dark secret. The physiologist reminded me when I first said I wasn't sure who to tell or keep it a secret that I should not be ashamed and I think I was feeling ashamed but each day I feel stronger but will see how it goes xx It's weird I'm OK telling my friends but not ready to tell my husbands x

Sent from my D6603 using the BariatricPal App

Your husband doesn't know? I'm just curious if that's true how, if I could have it would have tried honestly but I don't think it would have been possible.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930AZ using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have just had my surgery day 4 xx I told some close friends and family x and think I will see how it goes x I don't want it to be a,deep dark secret. The physiologist reminded me when I first said I wasn't sure who to tell or keep it a secret that I should not be ashamed and I think I was feeling ashamed but each day I feel stronger but will see how it goes xx It's weird I'm OK telling my friends but not ready to tell my husbands x

Sent from my D6603 using the BariatricPal App

Your husband doesn't know? I'm just curious if that's true how, if I could have it would have tried honestly but I don't think it would have been possible.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930AZ using the BariatricPal App

My husband knows and suppors me I'm not comfortable with him telling his friends

Sent from my D6603 using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband surprisingly respected my choice to keep it quiet and when I had the surgery he told his family I needed my appendix out to help with our daughter while he was with me during the day at the hospital for the few days I was there, then he'd pick her up from his mom's. It's kind of funny actually.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Bashbee91

      Hey guys new to the process looking forward to this new life. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Bugg

      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      over 20 lbs down since4 the pre surgery diet and surgery on the 14th
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        Yay!! Congrats. I know how good that feels. 🤩

    • Jenopolis

      Had a sleeve in 2017, lost over 100 pounds. Had a DS surgery this year (2025) for more sustainable weight loss. 🤞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • buildabetteranna

      The 14th was my day. I am home and recovery is going pretty smooth. They even let me walk out of the hospital. Picture of me in recovery curtesy of my boyfriend lol. 

      · 3 replies
      1. DaisyChainOz

        Glad it went well!! Wishing you a speedy recovery and wonderful success!! 🤗

      2. buildabetteranna

        Thank you ❤️

      3. Selina333

        Neat you have a pic of this day! I was sooo happy to get my surgery. It was well worth it! And I'm not even near my goal. I had surgery Dec. 2!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×