An I just being crazy or have others gone through this?

[Icantbelieveit 955]

I am a 8 days out from Gastric bypass. Yay! Everything is going well. Knock wood.

Here is the thing, and I know its silly. I had to do a 6 month preop diet for insurance and lost 40lbs. Again, yay!

Before going in for surgery I was putting all my winter clothes in bins to get them out of my overstuffed closet. Then I realized, that next winter these will be 100% unusable. I thought about just donating and be done and Celebrate. But I got sad in a weird way. Like that person is gone. That's not me anymore.

There is nothing I want more is to be thinner. Not skinny. I'm fine with a weight that starts with a 1.

Now my closet has clothes from 20 to 34, so its not like I was tossing my entire closet. But it felt like a funeral. Packing up my old self and tossing it. So I still binned up 6 bins and they sit in the master bedroom staring at me.

I guess I'm so used to yoyo dieting with weight I never purged my big clothes (or smaller). But this time I just know its done and will never let myself be this big again. Heck I bought new pjs for the hospital and cant really walk fast in the pants because those will be around my ankles.

Anybody else go through this?

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[nanaofmimi 5]

Hi! Im 7 days postop. Honestly when i put on my favs (comfy pjs) i was thinking the same what will I do?? I love how they feel!! I as well had yo yo dieted forever. This is our second chance our new life. Lets embrace the "frilly, lacey, sexy " clothes we will be able to buy!!!!

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[SactoWendy 17]

I had surgery in January. Sometimes I still wear my old big clothes just because I am not ready to say goodbye yet. Silly. I love being thinner and I love my new clothes that are 4 sizes smaller. it's just hard letting go. I told myself that I don't have to give the clothes away until I am ready. I have already given a lot away but I am holding on to some favorites. Once they are gone, they are gone. PS enjoy the new life.. it's amazing.

[gina171 626]

Icantbelieveit, I thought this was one of the most honest and beautiful posts I have read here. I am only at the beginning steps, but I know this will happen, and I am a little sad to say goodbye to the only version of me whom I've ever known.

I want to healthy, I want to live, but I am really letting myself feel what a real change this might be, I'm a little scared, and I am ok with that.

Thanks for your honesty.

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Edited May 18, 2016 by gina171

[taracutch 226]

I have always been thin until the last 10 years so for me it will be like a welcoming back the "real" me. I think I would be so hard if I was going into the unknown though. Can't even imagine! Just got my date today. I'm beyond excited!!

Edited May 18, 2016 by taracutch

[Read2016 658]

I too am pre-surgery.

Let the shopping begin!!

Celebrate your hard work that has got you to the point of saying good-bye to the old clothes.

I can relate to the yo-yo dieting.

Every time I look in my closet and see all the sizes it's a reminder of all the failed diets. Now your closet will be filled with clothes that remind you of your success

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[Icantbelieveit 955]

Thanks everybody. I will be celebrating milestones. I'm not sad to get thin. It's just an ending of a relationship with yourself. Hard to put into words. Kinda like building a life, being this way for years, then one day your spouse packs up and leaves never to be seen again. Then getting the dreaded, it's not you it's me.

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[Read2016 658]

Breaking up with fat me sounds like the best break up I ever could have!

Going from obese to thin is a journey that involves getting comfortable with the new you. The body moves faster than the mind can.

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[cherryw9 5]

Wow, you all bring up new growth I will be experiencing. I am pre surgery, too. I have considered a big purge of my closet to prepare myself mentally for this process. Yes, I have some "skinnier" clothing. But, really? This is a new, healthy process. And yet, my "bigger" clothes have some happy memories, lol. You just make me think. Excited, yes. But, yeah, letting go. Wow. Thanks for your insight.

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[gina171 626]

I think I might take all my big clothes that I have worn and liked over the years, and have them made into a quilt. Maybe even include some of the "new" clothes I am able to fit into as I move through the first year post-op....it would be nice to have a tangible reminder of all the places I have been on my first year of this journey. :-)

Now if the darn surgeon's office will just respond to my application and get me that first appointment, I am ready to go!!!

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[loves dogs 14]

Yes..I have 3 laundry baskets and a tote full of size 22/3x ... It's just sitting there..I am going to donate some n sell some... Going to need a whole new wardrobe...but I can't seem to part with them yet...silly..it's definitely a mental block!.

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[Heather I 500]

Just make sure you keep one of your biggest outfits so you always know how far you've come!

[Icantbelieveit 955]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I have come to the conclusion that in society we as overweight people get beat up emotionally on a daily basis that you put up a huge wall and are very protective for yourself because it's rare to have people understand.

I think it's more of the fact that now even I I'm leaving this big version of me. It's kind of like I'm joining the other side not liking this big person anymore.

Like I said before I have lost weight and Yoyo dieting for many years. I have never Ben thinner then about 180 pounds and that was when I was about 13 years old. I am doing this for my health and to have a long healthy life. I don't have any comorbidities except for very mild sleep apnea and high cholesterol. Everyone is always surprised when I get blood done and blood pressure taken. So I had to do this before my body cannot handle it anymore.

I know I will never be this weight again. And while very happy and exciting there will always be a big girl inside me no matter my weight. And it feels like I said before but I'm turning my back on her. Kind of like I'm now saying to her everything that other people have said about being heavy I know it sounds crazy. I'm just trying to process it and I'm sure once these hormones calm down with the dramatic weight that I'm losing I will feel like I was even more crazy when I posted this. LOL

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[taracutch 226]

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. I have come to the conclusion that in society we as overweight people get beat up emotionally on a daily basis that you put up a huge wall and are very protective for yourself because it's rare to have people understand.

I think it's more of the fact that now even I I'm leaving this big version of me. It's kind of like I'm joining the other side not liking this big person anymore.

Like I said before I have lost weight and Yoyo dieting for many years. I have never Ben thinner then about 180 pounds and that was when I was about 13 years old. I am doing this for my health and to have a long healthy life. I don't have any comorbidities except for very mild sleep apnea and high cholesterol. Everyone is always surprised when I get blood done and blood pressure taken. So I had to do this before my body cannot handle it anymore.

I know I will never be this weight again. And while very happy and exciting there will always be a big girl inside me no matter my weight. And it feels like I said before but I'm turning my back on her. Kind of like I'm now saying to her everything that other people have said about being heavy I know it sounds crazy. I'm just trying to process it and I'm sure once these hormones calm down with the dramatic weight that I'm losing I will feel like I was even more crazy when I posted this. LOL

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That was so beautifully put. In a month I will join you on the losers bench and your words will stick with me and know that I may go through this. Thank you soooo much for sharing.

[ridgerunner 115]

I am still pre-op but have lost 35 lbs so far. I have been one by one piling clothes in a stack that when I wear them I find they just look ridiculous on me. Before I would save them for when I gained the weight back but now I realize I won't ever be able to wear them again. I also thought that it would make me feel good to do this but like you it kinda makes me sad. Just the weirdest thing.