Loneliness

[AlexJGee 3]

If only getting a pet was an option. I do show up to things but I think people feel awkward around me because I'm not drinking or eating the same kind of things. Actually, I know they do even when I've reassured them that I'm totally cool with it. I do plan on seeing a therapist in the near future. From past experience, finding a good fit can take a few tries.

I lost more than a few friends with this surgery. But such things will happen because you make the choice to have a different lifestyle. It took me a year to finally decide for myself that this is what I wanted and to get out of the lifestyle I was in. Which was drinking very often, smoking and just repeating. In deciding I no longer wanted that for myself I did lose some friends but true friends who are worth your time will support your decision to be a healthier person and you will find some friends along the way that live the way you are living.

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[Read2016 658]

@outsidemarchinside I could not agree more about having a dog.. Even on days when you want to stay inside, the dog forces you to get out there because it's unfair to deny them their walk. I find once I pull it together to get out with him and he's so happy it makes me feel better. My guy is a rescue too. The dog does force you to socialize with others in the neighborhood.

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[Read2016 658]

I'm still pre surgery, there was a time when I could not imagine doing things alone and it made me miss out on things. Now I just do what I think will make me happy. I even travel alone. Our true happens comes from within. If your uncomfortable about the way the surgery has made you eat, than your friends are going to feel like they need to extend a concern for you when their eating things you can't etc... Recovery from surgery is a process, won't be like this forever. The work of the recovery in many ways is a solo journey as far as you making choices about eating and exercising. We spend so much time dwelling on what isn't, we miss celebrating what is.

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[pinklantern 23]

Thanks everyone for your positive comments. It's good to share so others know they aren't alone and these feelings are somewhat a natural part of this process. I live a life surrounded by fantastic chefs and bartenders who make some of the best craft cocktails and food in the Northeast and I love this life. It's a part of who I am. My struggle will be finding how I make it work for me. I believe that I will find the balance. Like I said, your brain takes you to some dark places when you are forced to confront things; issues I thought I'd long resolved.

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@pinklantern Challenge the chefs to make something incredible that you can eat and enjoy. :-).

[Andrea72 510]

Thanks everyone for your positive comments. It's good to share so others know they aren't alone and these feelings are somewhat a natural part of this process. I live a life surrounded by fantastic chefs and bartenders who make some of the best craft cocktails and food in the Northeast and I love this life. It's a part of who I am. My struggle will be finding how I make it work for me. I believe that I will find the balance. Like I said, your brain takes you to some dark places when you are forced to confront things; issues I thought I'd long resolved.

Yes it does, girl. Yes it does. I have been a prisoner to my mind on more than one occasion but I promise you it does get better.

I know the time frame for everyone is different, but I will say I noticed a huge change for me in week 5. I'm not saying everyday is fabulous, but I have more good days then bad.

You too will find your "calm". Just take it one day at a time.

[Alex Brecher 10,502]

@@pinklantern,

I am sorry you are feeling this way. It is very tough. As you noted, you’re at a tough time right now, and things will get easier.

At this point, there’s no going back, so the only thing to do is figure out how you’ll make the best of what you have. If your friends won’t even do anything that doesn’t revolve around food and alcohol, it may be time for some new friends. You don’t need to drop your current friends (although maybe you do, if they’ll never do anything besides drink), but you can always find more.

If loneliness is the problem you’re having, go find people. You can look for gastric sleeve and other WLS patients to be able to talk to people who know exactly what you’re going through. Maybe you can join a support group if you haven’t already, or put out a shout on these boards for someone in your area or someone who wants to be your buddy.

You can also find new friends that have interests other than food and alcohol. All three of the activities you mentioned can easily be social ones! Reading groups are great, and they may be more common than you think. Ask your local librarian. You can take a drawing class and be confident that everyone in there loves drawing just like you, and that’s a great starting point for a friendship. Or look for a walking group on meetup or start your own.

Good luck. I know it’s tough when everything changes and nothing seems fun anymore. But know that you’re right – this is the worst of it.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Great advice ^^^^.

And if this guy can deal with the foodie lifestyle adaptations required by gastric sleeve surgery, we all can.

http://www.torontosun.com/2015/05/23/chef-graham-elliot-gets-personal-on-weight-loss

[165B445 188]

I understand the loniness... maybe looking into volunteering at community org or going to a nursing home, nursing home residents love younger folks to talk to or big bro / big sister org... writing to a pen pal...

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[jane13 2,256]

@pinklantern @@KristenLe had a great idea about getting your chef and bartending friends to work up food/drinks for you -

then you can share with us here ;D

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Great advice ^^^^.

And if this guy can deal with the foodie lifestyle adaptations required by gastric sleeve surgery, we all can.

http://www.torontosun.com/2015/05/23/chef-graham-elliot-gets-personal-on-weight-loss

For some reason the link isn't coming up.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Sorry about the bad link, folks.

Try this one:

https://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/20140408/hyde-park/chef-graham-elliot-loses-150-pounds-after-gastric-sleeve-surgery

Or just google graham elliott gastric chef sleeve