Serious & Looking for Mentor But Need Someone Open-minded.

[Beck90 189]

So I'm Beck. I'm 25 and have been overweight most of my life. I started considering gastric sleeve last June and have done a great deal of research. I successfully did all the things I was supposed to do and am now scheduled for May 31st. I could really use a mentor to keep me accountable and help me as I go through this process. I am bipolar 2 and have anxiety disorder and social anxiety disorder so I know I won't be able to do real life support groups so seeking out help here is the best thing I can do for myself. I feel more comfortable making friends online anyway.

That said.. I'm looking for a mentor who has an open mind.. I have always been the sort to kind of march to the beat of my own drum. I question things, I make up my own mind about things and don't tend to blindly follow what I've been told. So far I've been pretty successful with that strategy in life.. and it's just who I am. What that means is that I may not always approach my WLS the way some people would or always do -exactly- what my surgeon says. Now that's within reason.. For instance I would never not take my Protein or my Vitamins.. I would never not exercise.. I would never not follow pre or post opp diets.. but things like diet pop.. my surgeon says to cut it out but after careful research and hearing from other surgeons that that's not necessary, I may choose to go ahead and have that.. So I need the kind of mentor who can handle the fact that - though I'm usually a rule "follower" there's something I have to be flexible about to make this new lifestyle work for me.. Another one, for instance, is that if I don't have some liquid with meals -- food gets stuck in my throat and I gag because I have a high gag reflex.. so my primary care physician has suggested I just take tiny sips of liquids with my meals to alleviate this.

For the most part I follow the rules.. and I'm super serious about this surgery and about losing the weight and about this being a lifestyle change.. but there are some things I just have to modify for my own sanity and success and I know that because I know myself well.. and I need a mentor who can respect and support that.

My mentor can be any age and live anywhere.

Here's some more about me.

I LOVE animals.. I have a Welsh Springer Spaniel named Riff who I show in conformation and agility trials. She's my world.

I hope to be a published author one day and maybe even make it my career.

I have a degree in English teaching but right now I'm focusing on trying to get a job as a 911 operator because I'm not sure teaching is really where I want to be with the politics in education right now.

I live in Illinois right on the state line by Indiana

I love to bake and cook

I'm a Jamberry nail wrap consultant (ask me about it if you like!)

I love studying psychology and medicine and have a minor in psych.

I enjoy scrapbooking, painting, and photography and photograph editing.

I also play Sims and Neopets (yes I'm a geek and that's okay with me)

I have always had a mind of my own and I've been known to be stubborn but that's also gotten me through some of the hardest times of my life.

Would anyone be interested in mentoring me? I'd like to find one or two solid relationships where we can connect her or on Facebook and talk very often even daily and share recipes and just help each other and that I will be supported even though I know some modification will be in order for my success but for the most part I DO follow the "rules" I feel like I'll do best with a couple of dedicated friends I can turn to.. anyone "want" me?

[Christinamo7 4,042]

I don't know if I am open minded or not, but I do have a husband and daughter with Asperger's so I am used to social anxiety, I am certainly willing to be a friend to you as you go through this process.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I hope you find someone and that you are able to keep an open mind, too.

I just think going into this expecting to go against your surgeon's orders and wanting someone who will enable you in that doesn't sound like a very wise strategy in my opinion.

Best of luck in your journey. Keep posting your questions, concerns, and issues. There is a wealth of experience, knowledge, and encouragement to be found on this site.

I would highly recommend you see if you can find a counselor or therapist to work with who is familiar with bariatric patients if at all possible.

[Beck90 189]

Hey @@Christinamo7 Sounds like you could be a good friend you've come a long way in your weight loss journey! I have two cousins with autism -- one very high functioning and one not as high functioning - we've got some things in common!

@@Inner Surfer Girl - For the most part I do what I'm told. The things I tend to question are things like where I know several surgeons disagree with mine and so I might look into why and make my own decision. I kind of got into that position because I'm on medicaid so I had absolutely no choice in who my surgeon would be or even the hospital I was working with.. had I had I would have chosen someone who meshed a bit better with me. So I'm just doing the best I can. Anything at all that I modified (which wasn't much) I did have cleared by my primary care physician who is pretty knowledgable about bariatric surgery. And I'm in counseling every week. I'm not necessarily looking for an enabler - just for someone who won't judge me or scold me for choosing to do what other surgeons reccommend compared to my own in certain instances because had I had my choice at all I would have chosen one of the surgeons who I meshed with better. Hopefully that makes more sense.

[Beck90 189]

And I'm always happy for more friends/mentors

[Christinamo7 4,042]

well, I am one who researches and has a hearty debate with my NUT - I think we'll do just fine.

[Squirrelgirl 49]

I have an appt with my nut on the 23rd. It's a lifestyle change..it's hard. Everyday. You have to see the big picture.why go thru all this to sabotage yourself. Kudos for " beating your own drum" . I am one of those also. But with choosing that path, realize that with wls, you sometimes need different instruments to help keep that drum beating. Good luck! ????

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[Beck90 189]

@@Squirrelgirl Yep it is absolutely a lifestyle change and some things will have to be sacrificed and others not.

I'm up for the challenge.. I just know to make it work as a lifestyle and not a temporary method I'll have to do things a bit differently sometimes but that's been me my whole life lol. a lot will definitely be different instruments to what I'm used to.

[julie74601 27]

You sound like me. I was diagnosed with aspergers. If you still want a buddy let me know.

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[AGreenEyedWolf 97]

I can't be a mentor, because I haven't been through surgery yet... but it sounds like we have a lot in common and could be friends...

I'm a "to the beat if my own drum" person, too... I also have bipolar disorder... I am also an animal lover (right now I have 2 dogs, 5 cats and 2 sugar gliders). I'm not judgemental, and I love scrapbooking. I also love studying medicine especially psychology... and I have an AA and also an AS in Network Administration but I freelance as a website builder. I'd love to be a published author one day as well... and I live in Florida now... but I used to live on the IL/IN border too (Martinsville, IL) and still have friends and family in that area and also in and around Bridgeton, Terre Haute and Brazil, IN.

Feel free to contact me via PM and maybe we can talk more :-)

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[LosinLiz82316 21]

I've always been the black sheep - aka, the weird one! Lol, I tend to do what I want (within reason of course!).

I have built a journey that works best for me. At 5 months out I've been what I would describe as successful. My doctor and I have butted heads but he's happy with my progress. You have to build a plan that works for you. That being said - I took a sip of soda and it was a no no no for me. Haha!