Realistic Goals

[Sharon1964 2,530]

I know y'all aren't used to serious posts from me, so I'll give you a minute to get used to the idea....

Okay. Ready?

Tomorrow, 5/8/16, will be nine months since my surgery on 8/8/15. I started at 403, and today I weigh 242. At my first appointment with my surgeon, on the printout they gave me when I left, it said "goal weight - 143." So I put that down on my stats here as my goal weight. I'm 5 ft 7 inches tall. That would give me a BMI of 22.4. I'm pretty sure I never discussed it with my surgeon.

Does that even seem remotely realistic? If I keep that current goal, it means I have 99 pounds to go. I don't think the last 20 pounds of that will be possible until I have plastics, as there are skin issues (as you know from my hang-me-upside-down post).

I want a realistic goal. A goal weight of 160 would give me a BMI of 25. Changing my goal here would mean I have 82 pounds to go to reach goal. I don't want to change my goal just to make myself feel better because I'll be closer to it. But I don't want to keep an unrealistic goal that may be just a typo on the part of my surgeon or his medical assistant.

Thoughts??

PS: Yeah, I had coffee this morning. No, I'm not really supposed to. Why did I do it? Why do you ask? Why? Why? Why? Wut??

[Daisee68 2,493]

Well, for what its worth, that does sound low to me. My NUT told me a good goal for pre-plastics was a 27 BMI. I know there is a lot of controversy regarding BMI, and I really wanted to be in the "normal" BMI range. So I set my weight goal for 173 (I am 5'10") which is 24.9 BMI - just enough to be considered "normal". BUT my ob/gyn told me this week, she thought I was right where I needed to be and figured I had at least 20 pounds of loose skin. I know @JaimeLogical has stated not to expect a lot of real weight loss from plastics (depending on the person of course), so I am not quite sure what to expect weight wise. What I do know is that I broke through 180 this morning (179.6) and I am a little anxious about not being able to stop this train. I really don't want to be too thin (which sounds completely crazy to me given I was over 300 pounds for 20 years!), but I am also now considering more about how I want to look than what the scale says. I have a PS consultation on May 20 and hoping I can get some better insight from him at that time on whether I should slowly start increasing calories to start to stabilize instead of lose. (OK, I feel like I made this about me instead of you - sorry for that! Welcome to ramblings from my head! All this has been rolling around there a lot lately!)

Consider figuring out your weight for a 27 BMI and use that for your initial goal. Once you get there, you can reassess if you want to set it for lower.

PS - Awesome job on your progress!! AND my behind seems to have slid down the back of my legs too! Quite odd to look at....

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Sharon, your "goal" is just a number on a page. And you can delete that number (or erase it) and type / write another number in its place. As many times as you want.

More importantly, your nine-month weight lost is heroic! Congrats on losing so much -- you must feel so much better physically and mentally.

When I started this journey, I just wanted to get down to a weight where I could walk without pain and leave the house without being terrified I'd run into someone I knew.

My surgeon didn't give me a goal, so I plucked one from the air -- 150 pounds -- which I hadn't weighed in nearly 40 years. It was a weight below which (back in the day) I remember feeling a lot less angst about how much I weighed. It was only one pound higher than "normal weight" on the BMI charts for my height (5'5").

And I am a senior citizen (68 when I had WLS), so I thought I didn't need to be a skinny bitch anymore.

Surprise, surprise, surprise! After I hit 150 pounds, my body gradually kept losing even though I kept raising my daily calories and macronutrients. It took another 8-9 months for me to lose the last 15 pounds, and here I sit maintaining easily at 135 pounds.

Whodda thunk it? Not me. After 150 pounds, every time I lost another 3-5 pounds I sort of freaked out, thinking I was too skinny, going through that body dysmorphia thing that happens. But now, after sitting at this weight for nearly 5 months my body looks a lot more normal-sized to me than it did when I first arrived here.

Not saying your body wants to weigh 135 pounds -- or that you want it to weigh 135 pounds or that you would feel and look your best at that weight. Our bodies are like hair styles -- everyone's most flattering look is different.

I'm not even sure this blathering is helpful -- but just sharing how my own goals changed and how I adapted to those changes (so far). And in the future, I'd truly be thrilled to weigh anything between 135 and 150 pounds.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

172 would give me a BMI of 27. That means I would have 70 pounds to go. Not sure I can wrap my head around going from 99 pounds to go, to 70 pounds to go, in the space of a few minutes!

Edited May 7, 2016 by Sharon1964

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

How in the world does a NUT know what specific BMI all plastic surgeons allegedly favor before doing plastics on a WLS patient?! Especially since BMI doesn't take into account at all anyone's body fat percentage or their body shape.

@@Daisee68 , I look forward to hearing what your plastic surgeon has to say about your NUT's advice.

[Sharon1964 2,530]

@@VSGAnn2014

Every time I get on the scale, I still expect the first number to be a "3". I have a hard time wrapping my head around where I am right now - I fully expected the surgery to not "work" for me.

The thought of changing the goal number feels like "cheating" to me... you know, like when you stepped on a scale (before the digital age) and you leaned one way or the other to try to make the scale show a lower number. Or you turned the little dial to make it start a couple of pounds below zero so the result was a lower number.

Okay, taking the plunge and changing the goal number!

I really need to not post when I've had coffee... I let you all wayyyy too far into my head, and that can be a scary place!!!

Edited May 7, 2016 by Sharon1964

[Christinamo7 4,042]

When my doctor asked me about goals I said 160 because to be honest I couldn't fathom even getting to that number. I was doing this to get rid of diabetes and weigh less than my man. And not technically less but obviously less. Doctor thinks I will go lower and if I do that's fine- but I would count that number as being successful. Ultimately you have to get to a number where you feel comfortable in your own body and can enjoy good health.

It is fine to change that goal as you go through this process.

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[KristenLe 5,979]

Your original "goal" was probably based on BMI for your height. I find BMI extremely unrealistic for many of us. Mine is low 100's - which I can't imagine what that would "look like" but it's not realistic. I am choosing 150 (and if I get to 140 I'll be ecstatic). I'm only 5'2". Why set a goal that's unrealistic - we'll only feel like failures when we don't get there.

[jaxmom 644]

Sharon1964- thanks so much for "letting us in". The fact that you went from 403 to 242 is amazing. When you said the part about not seeing the 3 as the first number when you get on the scale really made me smile for you. I found this whole thread to be really interesting and am glad to see that not everyone agrees with the BMI charts. According to the charts, I need to weight less than my 12 year old daughter. I'm only 5 foot tall (although I pray every night that I will grow a half inch... I'm 44, it's not gonna happen is it? Sigh). And they want me at something like 100 pounds. Haahahahha!!!!!! Yeah.... Not gonna happen don't want it to happen. I love the poster who said body styles are like hair styles... Everyone has a different one that suits them. Gee you people are smart. Aww. I wish I could personally deliver each of you a Protein shake and a hug. Here is the hug. O. Way to go Sharon- you rock.

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[gowalking 10,790]

"Goal" means so many different things. My goal weight was based on a number my primary doctor threw out there. She said that if I could get down to 150, it would make her very happy. So that's the number I used. As you can see, I'm under that goal weight. I'm also up from my lowest weight but as long as I haven't had to go up in clothing size, I'm managing just fine.

Most important, my goal truly was to lose enough weight to get my hips replaced. I reached that after losing only 70 lbs. What I'm trying to say here Sharon, is that goal is Fluid enough that you are allowed to change it as you see fit...and without any guilt.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

My doctor never gave me a goal, he just said because of my attitude and my activity level and knowledge about the process I would be successful. Almost 10 months in, I already consider it a success.

He did however kind of hint at a possible goal, which would be what I weighed in HS. That is kind of a sore subject for me because I weighed from 155-180 in HS. The only way I could keep my weight down was with slim fast shakes, even though I was really active, swimming and other sports and activities. I know that being below like 170 means I can barely eat and I have to watch every single thing. I'm not sure I want that kind of stress.

My goal right now it 190, which would put me in the BMI range that the plastic surgeons I want to use, would work on me. Ideally I see 170ish as a great stretch, ultimate goal.

I still just don't want to stress out about the numbers. All of my health issues are resolved. That was the most important. Now that health goals are met, I can work on fitness and vanity goals.

I can wear regular size clothes. I look and feel great. I am however still at the top of regular sizes, I would like to be a Gucci size 12 so I have more clothing options.

Also since I probably have a life expectancy of at least another 40 years, I think it is inevitable I will regain some as I age. I want to get as low as possible so hopefully if I regain, I have enough cushion that I never get over 250.

Also with my frame, I have a legit measurable large frame, not just fat people big boned excuse, I don't think a low BMI is really possible for me. Then with what I know about my bone density and muscle mass, I don't think it is possible. I already look small for my weight, if I got below 30 BMI, I don't even know what I would look like, Skeletor?

I think you have to set a goal for you that is realistic for you, you have to live in your body, not your doctor. I want to lose as much as my body wants to lose, and I plan on pushing myself towards that goal.

Edited to add,

I need to lose about another 20 lbs to be at my 70% of excess weight lost goal. Hopefully I can do that before the summer is out.

http://www.obesitycoverage.com/weight-loss-surgeries/gastric-bypass/how-much-can-i-expect-to-lose

Edited May 7, 2016 by OutsideMatchInside

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@VSGAnn2014 - no she just meant that given we will likely all have extra skin that 27 BMI is a more realistic goal than say 23 or 24 BMI before we have skin removed due to the extra weight the skin adds. She is none too pleased with me talking plastics yet though. She says to wait until I am at least 18 months post-op minimum. I am 11 months now. I intend to wai t until after summer but not likely until December.... At least for the first round.

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[Sharon1964 2,530]

Wow. Thank you all for your input, experiences, and thoughts. Sometimes what I think is a superficial question (am I being lazy by changing my goal weight?), actually runs much, much deeper.

My original goal was to fit into the world. I'm almost there. I fit in airplanes, restaurant booths, chairs with arms, etc. I can even wear some necklaces that used to be too short, due to my fat neck. I'm still shopping in plus-size stores, so there's that still. But even so, I do have far more choices than I used to have.

My diabetes has completely resolved, my plantar fasciitis is gone (for now), no more knee and ankle pain. My blood pressure is completely normal. I've always had fabulous cholesterol numbers, so I've never had to worry about that.

I have to remind myself every now and then what I've accomplished. 403 to 242 in nine months. That is HUGE.

Wow. Thank you all for your input, experiences, and thoughts. Sometimes what I think is a superficial question (am I being lazy by changing my goal weight?), actually runs much, much deeper.

My original goal was to fit into the world. I'm almost there. I fit in airplanes, restaurant booths, chairs with arms, etc. I can even wear some necklaces that used to be too short, due to my fat neck. I'm still shopping in plus-size stores, so there's that still. But even so, I do have far more choices than I used to have.

My diabetes has completely resolved, my plantar fasciitis is gone (for now), no more knee and ankle pain. My blood pressure is completely normal. I've always had fabulous cholesterol numbers, so I've never had to worry about that.

I have to remind myself every now and then what I've accomplished. 403 to 242 in nine months. That is HUGE.

[Miss Mac 6,262]

My doctor's suggestion for a goal weight is 20 pounds above what I thought it should be. I wanted to go for 135, which was my healthiest adult weight, but that was in 1980. She thinks that where I am is perfect, and she can get rid of another ten pounds or so with plastics. I am just balking because the skin removal seems so drastic at my age (64). She is quite happy with where I am, and thinks that 150-ish is healthy enough even without plastics.

One of my sisters lost about 200 pounds with a gastric bypass and did not get plastics. She looks like a sharpei. Another sister had a lap band and lost about 170 pounds. She got plastics and looks and feels awesome, and said that the extra pounds gone with the skin removal makes a difference in clothing size.

There is no clear cut formula for this. Just go with what feels healthy.

[FrankyG 1,450]

I think the goal your doctor gave you was him/her being really lazy and not looking and listening to you. They just took the low end of the normal BMI from your height and that was it. Mine did similar - he told me I should weigh 140 for my height; I laughed at him. I told him I was normal sized in high school and didn't weigh in that low (wore a size 10-12). My goal weight is on the high side but I am already looking pretty decent and don't really want to go down to wear a size 6 or anything - I just want to be able to feel good and not shop in the plus sized sections any more and so far, that goal has been achieved, so the rest is just gravy.

22 BMI is LOW. I think your revised goal weight is much better and you'll look amazing and feel wonderful if you can get even in that neighborhood. And you've done a mindblowingly awesome job so far!