Food addiction, willpower and exhaustion

[Daisee68 2,493]

So every once in a while, my therapist says something that really hits home with me and she said something yesterday that has been rumbling around in my head since then and thought I would share.

I have a food addiction. Specifically to crunchy salty treats - Cheezits, Cheetos, Ruffles Potato chips, etc. I still on occasion binge on these items (and yes it is possible because these things crunch up in to tiny pieces). I lie to myself and say I will portion them out and eat them in reasonable portions and I always start that way, but in the end, I always grab the bag/box and finish them off. Sometimes I feel sick from it. Sometimes I don't. I don't want to do this, but yet probably once every 2 or 3 weeks, I do this. (I am 11 months post-op for those curious.) (Please don't post and lecture me about this. I know it is an issue and I am working on it. That is not the purpose of this post.)

Anyway, as my therapist and I were talking about this, she asked me to describe how I felt when I am approaching the snack aisle at the grocery store or the snack aisle at the gas station (when I am on a road trip for example) and after thinking about it, I answered "anxiety". What I mean is, I start feeling how much I want those Snacks and yet how much I don't need them and how I am going to be strong enough to avoid them.

She said "Think of the addiction as an outside force. This is something coming from outside of you and you need a strategy to overcome that voice. Some people come to me who have worked for months and months on just sheer willpower and come in completely exhausted. They just cannot fight with sheer willpower anymore." The exhaustion part of that statement is something I keep thinking about. How many of us did Weight Watchers or Atkins or South Beach or whatever diet and we did SO well but one day, we were just so exhausted with counting our points or our carbs and just gave in to the exhaustion and grabbed what we wanted, and then the next day and the next day and the next thing we knew we couldn't get back on track?

All along in this journey, I have feared maintenance. I mean I have lost weight before only to gain it back and then some. But she said to me I needed a mind shift. Don't live in this sheer willpower stage. It won't work. Understand that I have an addiction which comes from outside of me and figure out how to defeat it. My specific plan we came up with - when I am approaching that aisle and hear (or feel) that desire for the food, OUTLOUD say NO! (Ok, not so loud that others stare at me, but you see what I am saying) And then replace the thoughts with music - something to drown out the voice until the urge passes. She said to turn around and leave if I had to. I said "leave the grocery store if I am not through shopping?" and she said "absolutely - if you just cannot deal with it at that time, then leave. Leave your cart there or just checkout with what you have. You can come back later."

I haven't had to put this in to practice yet, but I have been thinking about music to put on my phone to get me through that (or that I can sing in my head). A theme song if you will to get me past it. Eventually this will all become a little easier - a little farther between the cravings. It already has - otherwise I wouldn't be down 141 pounds. I hope I defeat him completely someday. I am not sure if I will. For now the addict monster is still there and I am learning how to defeat him and wear him down a little at a time....

[Threetimesacharm 1,400]

Well thank you so much for posting this, I am exactly the same, salty crunchy food addict.

I am going to put your suggestions into play and see if it will work for me.

Send me your bill in the mail........................................

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@Threetimesacharm - LOL! I am just glad my ramblings made sense to someone else! It was helpful to me too to put it out there in writing and get it out of my head.

[FrankyG 1,450]

I really love what your therapist said. We all have to come to terms with our dependence and addictions and it is going to be an uphill fight all the way I'm sure (I'm right there with you).

It is wonderful that you've done so well and are still fighting.

[FrankyG 1,450]

Double post oops!

Edited May 7, 2016 by FrankiesGirl

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Great advice. I am a huge believer that willpower is a lie.

Sometimes, just saying "not right now" is better than "never again".

I am also a big believer in HALT: trying not to get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, and realizing when I am in that state that food may not be the right solution (except for the hungry, in which case, healthy food is the solution).

One huge revelation for me, that I am still working through, is that I don't have to buy everything at the store at once. I can just buy a few things (mostly fresh food). I don't have to buy enough for an army every time. (I grew up in a family of six people but have been single and living alone for many, many years and still tend to want to shop for an army).

I try to visualize myself as a Parisienne who markets frequently. Sometimes that works!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Sounds like a great science experiment. Go for it.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

you are fabulous! and I know you can do it. I went through this a number of years ago but it was regarding cake and ice cream. this method does work although a lot of the time in the beginning I went home and then really struggled with the fact that I hadn't bought whatever it was.

food addiction is an ugly monster but we can defeat it. I have been able for about 4 years now to have a normal portion of a sweet, but not everyone can go back to moderation and I went a few years with none while working on those issues.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Some more thoughts ...

I know someone who's had WLS who says she (somehow) made elevators "invisible." She hasn't ridden one in several years.

Oh -- and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy posits that our thoughts are *just* thoughts and, of themselves, have only the power we give them by obsessing on them.

Those damned hamster wheels we create and ride and ride and ride are not the smartest things we've ever created, eh?

Turns out, we actually can change our minds.

[BCs 1000 364]

Thank you for your post. Another crunchy, salty addict here too. I am going to try the music too

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I don't necessarily suggest this for everyone, but it worked for me. I used to keep a unopened pint of Ben and Jerry's in the freezer so I knew it was there. So, if I was at the store and thought I just had to buy something sweet, I could truthfully tell myself I already have some at home. I am sure it was inedible it was in there so long. I finally got rid of it when I moved.

I don't recommend this for everyone.

[esskay77 785]

Such a great post!! Thanks for sharing. Sweets are the thing I always THINK I want and do tend to buy the when I shop. Sometimes I eat them when I get home, sometimes I throw them in the extra freezer, and sometimes I throw them away. Just buying them is half the joy. But, that's also part of the addiction I have recently discovered. So, I will try to follow what you said that you do to see if that helps. I have been successful many times not buying things that I shouldn't have but as someone else stated above, I feel empty when I get home and I really regret not buying them. But, again, I'm sure this is part of the addiction!! lol

Anyway, thanks!

[KristenLe 5,979]

Great post - thanks for sharing! My therapist had a similar conversation with me this week. :-).

[glitter eyes 1,398]

One thing that helps me at the grocery store is I love magazines like Cosmopolitan and Glamour ( yes I am probably too old for them, but too bad). So when I want to give into the bad Snacks I tell myself if I make it to the checkout line with nothing unhealthy in my cart I will splurge on magazines.

Then when I get home if I have time I will slip on a face mask and relax while reading them.

Silly, but it works most of the time.

[Daisee68 2,493]

Glad this resonated with you guys and some more great advice from others. I like the concept of really understanding I don't have to buy everything in the store at once! I used to HATE going to the grocery store. (Probably because it gave me the excuse to eat fast food and order pizza delivery). Now I go once a week, but I do still throw out a lot of food. I am buying less and hating it less, but I have always been fascinated by the concept of just marketing for what you need. My sister (who feeds a family of four) will often shop sparingly too (depending on what is going on that week). I always thought it a waste of time, but now I wonder if it was part of healthy shopping..... Thanks @@Inner Surfer Girl for that! And as always the great advice! I am reading that book you often recommend, The Emotional First Aid Kit. It is a LOT of really good information. Hard to take it all in but what I have read is such real life applications to easily put in use.

@@VSGAnn2014 Love what you said about thoughts only giving the power we give them!

Carry on warriors! We will get there together!!