Im new and I need help

[snapper17 0]

Hi all,

My name is Daniel, I am 165kg / 364 pounds and I know I need to do something about it but I am struggling making the right choices.

I have always been overweight, in fact I was born overweight. I have never won the battle to get to a "normal" weight range.

I have tried several times to diet and exercise, mostly lasting a few weeks maybe 2 months then giving up because it was really hard to stop the temptations.

Once (about 6-7 years ago) I was successful to some degree in that I started at 127kg and got down to 82kg which I was happy with however that was short lived. I had an episode that lead to a state of depression. When I am depressed I eat, so I ended up putting the weight back on and then some more.

I have researched a little bit about all the different solutions and the lap band seems to be my only real choice.

I have been thinking about it for a long time now (close to a year now and did not do anything about it). My weight continues to rise and I know soon I will be in big trouble and may even have a stroke or heart attack ect..

I feel as though I am not motivated at all to lose weight and I do not think it will work if I am not motivated enough to do something about it.

What can I do to get more motivated?

I love food and the one thing that really upsets me when I think about this procedure is that I will have to give up on the one thing I really love about life. I feel that if I had this band on I would be miserable for the rest of my life.

The only real positive things I can think of is that the band is adjustable and removable.

Sometimes I feel it is better to live a shorter happier life then a longer miserable life.

How did you feel about giving up food?

Also, I love a good coffee, with this band on can I still drink it with out being "punished"?

thanks

[Serena 0]

:welcome2: Daniel,

You have absolutely come to the right place with your concerns. Although I am twice your age, I can really see myself in much that you have written. Before I talk about the band, though, I really feel the need to ask: Have you seen a professional about your depression? Your user name speaks volumes and it is difficult to get the momentum going for positive change without help from medication (I have taken anti-depressants since I was your age).

Do I miss food? Not nearly as much as I thought I would. My downfall was candy/chocolate and I can truly say that I don't miss it or crave it at all. After the first 8 weeks you can eat many things, but only in smaller amounts.

There is a real rush you experience with the band because you always have a back-up. For the first time I feel confident ditching my clothes as soon as they get baggy because I won't go back.

The dieticians frown on coffee only because caffeine has a diuretic effect, but I drink plenty of Water so that I can have coffee.:cup:

Here in the states the first step is an informational seminar that you must attend before making an appointment. Even better than that is this site where you can go back a year and follow a person from his first post expressing doubts and concerns, through the surgery, and further to his weight loss success. Many post before, during, and after pictures.

As you may have noticed there are support groups for various countries as well. Very few people regret having the band. You can do this!!!

[TRANAM1955 1]

HI,

At your young age, weight loss would be so much easier with the lap band than at a later stage in your life.

When I was your age, I lost 92 pounds in 8 months and maintained a slim figure for a few years - would go up and down - and finally in my mid 40's, the weight crept back up to over 200. In my 50's, I hit the 250 mark and could tell such a difference in my well being.

My lap band has become my "voice of reason". And yes, after being banded for nearly 5 months, quitting smoking - 3 to 4 pack a day habit for 3 months, I have had some emotional challenges. I have always used food as a comfort and the band will not let me do that. I have lost 38 pounds, most in the first few months, and it has slowed since I quit smoking. However, I just had my 2nd fill this past week and I am optimistic that the weight loss will start up again.

My band has become a friend, buddy and sounding board that tells me that I just can't eat a big hamburger, fries, and deserts. So, I want to encourage you to seek counseling, meet with a qualified lap band surgeon and start on your Journey!!!

:clap2:

[snapper17 0]

hi,

Yes I am seeing a professional, have been for a few years now.

I am better now but I still feel a lack of motivation when it comes to helping myself.

I too use food as a comfort and a form of stress relief.

I was told what happened to me 3 years ago was caused by a build up of stress. I talk about all the stresses I had back then and feel that I still have a few of them. I am thinking that if I do lose weight and force myself not to eat then I will build up all the stresses again and have another episode.

My doctor says its possible but that is why I need to find other ways to deal with stress like talking things through with people. I was and still regard myself as a fairly private person, most people do not know what I stress about because I do not like to talk about it. I am trying to open up now but it is very difficult for someone that is so used to keeping it inside.

I live alone and that does not help.

Tran, I think its great you gave up smoking but how do you just wake up one day and say I quit? Surly there was some motivation to get you started.

That is what I am searching for some motivation and reason to lose weight.

I too want to be high on life.

Well im off to the daily grind of the 9-5 thank you for listening to me.

Thanks

[TerriDoodle 6]

I have an idea. Read through the posts in this thread and see if there is anything appealing to you in these lists: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f17/share-us-what-has-improved-you-37441/

If so, then maybe that is a starting point for you. Make a list of what you would like to accomplish or how you would like to feel, that you cannot do now because of your weight.

If there is nothing in those posts, or in the Before and After Photo thread, then perhaps this isn't the right time for you. If you are not properly motivated and eat the wrong things or too much of it, then you could harm yourself.

I wish you the best of luck. Please let us know if we can help further!

[snapper17 0]

hi terry,

thanks for the link, I read a few pages and below are the points I would look forward to:

My recurrent back pain is almost gone completely

- I dont have alot of back problems but certainly I feel back pain sometimes.

I have way more energy and feel much stronger

food is not always falling on my shirt.

- LOL I always thought it was because I was a messy eater, it was only recently pointed out to me that its because my stomach sticks out so much and instead of the food falling on the floor it falls on my shirt. I hate having to clean them all the time because of this.

I have more energy

I feel stable in the shower...before I was always thinking what in the hell if I fall in here???

LOL, I have been in a few peoples showers and always felt uncomfortable, i always felt unsafe like I might easily slip and break something. I got used to my shower but I don't like showering other places because of this.

My knees don't hurt.

- At the moment they dont hurt much but if I walk for 10min or so my shins and knees begin to hurt and my ankle feels weak so I stop.

I longer do very much exercise and avoid as much walking as possible.

I like getting up from the sofa or chair and not "pulling or pushing".

- Yeah I struggle getting out of bed or couches, in my own home I dont mind because I live alone but if I go somewhere where the people dont know me I feel embarrassed.

Also, it is very difficult for me to sit on a high stool and it must look odd to people when they watch me try and sit on the stool. Most times I avoid it by just standing but if I have to be there for more than 15min I must sit because my knees and legs kill me if I stand too long.

I like turning over in bed and not "flopping" like a beached whale.

- LOL yeah I have to roll out of bed too. Also my mattress cover always comes off I didn't put much thought into it but now I realize its because of the weight I put in the middle of the bed. When there are two people on the bed its ok because the weight is spread out over the mattress but with just me in the middle it always comes off.

Grocery and eating out bills are MUCH lower.

- I spend approx 50% of my wage on food, I eat out every meal because

a. I am too lazy to make something

b. for one person I calculated it was cheaper for me to eat out but only at cheap places (you need to consider buying cutlery, pots and pans ect..) I don't cook anything at all at home.

If you think about it though the cheaper food items are more fattening and the health costs in the future will be through the roof.

I can go for a walk without back or leg pain

looking forward to an airplane flight in August.... no seatbelt extenders!!

I rarely take flights, in the last one I went in it was the first one where my seatbelt did not fit and I had to use an extender. It was very uncomfortable because those seats are smaller than say a cinemas seats ect..

I do want to take a holiday in dec but I fear that I will not fit in the economy seat, I can't afford business class so I guess I may not be able to go

I smile for pictures...I do not avoid the camera! Before pics of me are few and far between. I have taken, willingly more pictures in the last 6 months than I have in the last 10 years! And I even like some of them!

- I hate pictures of me in them and I hate it when my friends take pictures of me. One of them showed me a picture of me 3 years ago when I lost all my weight, I couldn't recognize myself I am now double that size.

-----------------------------------------------

These things bother me now and I guess I look forward to improvements in these areas:

personal hi gene

- It is very difficult to wash my feet, in between my toes without feeling like I am going to slip out of the shower. I use a bucket now but its very uncomfortable. It is very difficult to wipe myself after going to the toilet, it hurts if I twist my stomach in certain positions, sometimes I take 10min just on clean up, people think I must have fallen in.

It is hard to cut my toe nails, sometimes I get my dad to do it for me.

holes in jeans and hard to get clothes

- I am constantly buying new jeans and pants and having them repaired because they keep getting holes in them and ripping apart at the seams.

They are good quality jeans and cost me around $150 each. I have to go to high and mighty because you cant just go to any store.

In Australia there are only 1 or 2 stores that I know of that stock these sizes for males so I must pay their high prices.

I too just put on what ever fits me and sometimes this means I have to wear boring plain clothes and I have to wear the same clothes all the time.

I can't wait to just go into any store and buy what ever looks good and know if they don't have it in my size its because they are sold out not because they don't make them in that size.

hard to put on socks and shoes hard to buy shoes

- Its very difficult to put socks and shoes on, in fact I buy shoes without shoe laces because it is very difficult to tie them all the time.

My feet are wide/fat so it is very hard to find shoes that fit. Last time I needed shoes I went into about 20 stores and only found one pair that barely fit me so I bought them even though I didn't really like the look of them, what choice do I have? I guess I could import them but that is a risk.

able to choose where I want to sit in a restaurant

- I love to go to the crown and eat at number 8 and the braisery and sit outside however the chairs there are hard to fit into. Most restaurant seem to have cheaper chairs outside because of the rain element.

When ever I am about to sit down a part of me thinks is this chair stable enough to hold me?

I have broken a chair or two in my time its probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.

-----------------------------------------------

Thanks for pointing out life could be easier being a normal weight.

Ultimately if I do end up doing this it is because of my health but I feel really sad thinking I may have to give up on food.

Is it possible to order say an entree mushroom risotto and eat it without burping and sliming?

[TerriDoodle 6]

"Ultimately if I do end up doing this it is because of my health but I feel really sad thinking I may have to give up on food."

A lot of people have this fear before surgery. I have to be honest and tell you that some are justified. They didn't realize how much they depended on food for comfort and are now faced with all these "head issues". You say you're in treatment already, so that would be a very good thing to have that support already in place. As for myself and "giving up on food", the rewards of being healthier and thinner are worth the sacrifice....but I don't really feel like I AM sacrificing! There isn't any food I can't eat. I don't eat Pasta and rice simply because the carbs aren't good for me. Most importantly, because I am forced to slow down and take smaller bites, I have learned to enjoy the taste of every bite...to truly savor it....before swallowing. This in itself has its own reward.

Print out your list above and keep it taped to your bathroom mirror. Review it every once in awhile. Keep visiting LBT and talk with your therapist. You'll make a good decision in time.

[AnnaMC 0]

Dear Death, Many if us have had the same issues as you. i put trust in god in making my decision. I could not go on the way I was. i was sooo unhappy. This has changed my life. I am not obsessed with food. I have no knee pain. I can run up the stairs. I play with my kids. I am starting to be smitten with myself again!

This site is my therapy! I check in everyday. Follow your heart, you will make the right decision and your life will change.

Please keep in touch!

Anna

[jenncore 0]

Daniel,

I read your post and feel your pain. I have had a lot of stress in my life esp. the past few years. I have always turned to food for comfort and I know it will be an adjustment when I get my band. You may not feel very motivated right now but all of that might change once you start losing weight. Once you start feeling a difference I'm sure it will help motivate you. As you will learn on this site, the lapband is not the easy way out. It is an amazing tool that when used correctly will change your life forever. I'm glad that you have received professional help for your depression. Noone should have to go through that alone. Hang in there and believe in yourself. You DESERVE to be happy and healthy. Please take the steps to move forward in this journey. You're young and you don't want all of the health problems associated with being obese. It does get more difficult the older you get. I wish you only the best!!!!!!!

Jenn

[DonHoll1 0]

Your user name makes me worry for you. There is help out there. Please do not lose hope. If you decide on the band please know that you can still eat. Just not as much. Best of luck. Why not choose life? Donna

[Denamara 0]

Everyone on this site has food issues or we would not have to of had the surgery, so you definatley should not feel alone...as far as not being able to eat what you enjoy, I think the majority of people can eat almost anything they enjoyed before surgery (except soft breads) you just have to re-train your brain that smaller portions are OK. I still order large meals at my favorite restuarants, but the band keeps me from over eating that favorite meal and i will always need a doggy bag. Over the weekend I had part of a cheesburger & fries, and went to a mexican rest. & had some nachos & pizza toppings. Of course you will learn to eat healthier and most people find things they like that are good for you too, you should not think of it as missing out on what you enjoy, just less of it:). If Portion Control is your main issue the band would work very well for you, if you have more of a sweets, or soda issue it won't work quite as well. Good luck!

[karinholmes 0]

Hi there,

it sounds like food has ruled your life and most of us will understand that! If u think about the fact the band is removable you should not have one fitted. However, you dont give up on food with the band at all, u just feel full with a much smaller portion. I do think that the issues with food need looking at though as the band needs you to want to lose weight and to work with it. Good luck in whatever direction you take.

Karin (england) x

[kermit 0]

hello Death

the fact that you have considered the band means that you can see a solution. When you can see a solution then there is hope. I was terrified that if I got the band it would just be another way for me to fail and then feel even more miserable but I can honestly say, friend, that the feeling of control I have now is worth so much. From your posts I can see that you are a very intelligent and feeling person - love yourself enough to find the way to feel good. If that is the band then good for you. Kindest wishes!

l