A new meaning to Thanksgiving...long post

[Lioness81970 0]

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!! Today is (ironically) my 1 year bandiversary and I must say that Thanksgiving has a brand new meaning for me!!!

All my life I have been bigger than what society has deemed a "normal" weight. Growing up I was always the biggest in my class. When I got older and started having children the weight just started piling on. When I delivered my last child in 99 I was weighing in at 270 pounds. It was a very complicated pregnancy and my doctor told me that my weight was a big factor in it. About a year and a half later I ended up pregnant again and was just estatic!! I wanted another baby so bad and couldn't have been happier. When I hit my 5th month I started having complications and ended up losing the baby.....my son Justin. Once again it was due to my weight. It was at that very moment that I made the decision that I had to do something with my weight! So that is when I decided to research WLS. I had originally decided to get the bypass done but it really scared me and I procrastinated with having it done.......then I found this board.......and it changed my life!!

I started doing the research on it and found that yes this is what I wanted. I was scared that I was going to have to jump through hoops and hurdles to get the approval...but I didn't. I was approved in 2 weeks after finishing all my testing. On November 25th 2003 my new life began and I must say it has been interesting. I wanted to share with you - my other family - some of the things that I have been through to get me to where I am right now.

I've been losing slowly - but that's ok. I am happy with my weight loss because a year ago I was 75 pounds heavier than I am today. It hasn't been easy and the road has been long. My relationship with food was the most uncomplicated relationship that I had. It didnt argue with me, fight with me, judge me or talk down to me like other people it my life. It was just there whenever I needed it. When I got banded I knew that gradually I would have to say goodbye to certain things and it was hard. There were times when I wanted to eat something and my head was saying go for it but my band was saying not today!!! I've really just recently gotten good restriction over the last month and a half so it's been even harder lately trying to figure out what I can and can't eat. It's so much trial and error.

Over the course of the last year while my body has been changing so have I - inside. Sometimes it felt like the old Carmen was dying and a new one being reborn. And it was scary!!! I started noticing that things that I would take from peope where no longer an option. I was standing up for myself.......whoa...was this REALLY ME??!! I wouldn't let people talk down to me anymore or walk all over me and because of it I started being referred to as a bitch. I dont think that I became a bitch I just think that they couldn't accept that I wouldn't take their crap anymore and it bugged them because for so long that was the way that I was. I tried to please everyone and make them happy and then it dawned on me.......if I'm trying to take care of everyone else who's left to take care of me?? I started taking better care of the way that I looked. I started doing my hair, getting my nails and eyebrows done, wearing makeup and taking pride in the clothes that I put on. I had........dare I even say it?? SELF ESTEEM!!! And it felt good!!! I discovered old friends that I hadn't seen in years - my neck and collarbones. I discovered I had wrists and ankles. Things like that were just the icing on the cake so to speak.

So as you all can see my life has been up, down, happy, sad,forward, backwards and every other thing that it could possibly be. And I love it!!! People always ask me if I am happy with my decision to get this done and sometimes I couldn't say yes honestly because the weight loss wasn't going the way that I wanted it to. Sometimes I wished I would have had the bypass done.......and then I think of all the complications that go along with it. And I remember my children....the main reason that I did this. I wanted to be there for them as they were growing up. I wanted to be happy and healthy and live a long and prosperous life. That was the ultimate reason for doing this. So now when people ask me that my answer is always the same - YES I AM happy that I had this done and if I had to do it all over again I wouldn't hesitate. I would do it in a HEARTBEAT.....and I mean it from the bottom of my heart!!!

[New Hope 37]

Carmen, congratulations on your one year bandiversary and the amazing weight loss! Your journey has been amazing! I look forward to seeing what this year will bring you.

[La_madam 20]

Carmen..What a great inspirational post on the day we give thanks,, indeed you do have something to be thankful for. Congratulations to you..I'm very happy for you

[athykay 9]

All I can say is awesomeeeeeeeeeeeee. Thanks for sharing, what a inspiration.

[hagerteresa 3]

Yes Carmen, That was a very good post and appropriately timed. I too share many of your experiences and feelings. I hope you have a good holiday. Teresa

[whippledaddy 5]

Thank you Carmen. I was banded just nine days ago. How comforting to know what the fabric of the next year will be. Posts like yours are doubly inspirational, for us newbies, knowing what the future years hold can be like a breath of fresh air on a day when the waiting seems so long.

Thank you for that post, it's just what I needed. Today I can add one more thing to my long and joyous Thankful list, you and your post.

[lapbander081004 7]

You have a lot to be thankful for Carmen and we are thankful for you.

Fantasic job so far keep it up.

[LisaMG 5]

Carmen, Your post really spoke to me. TY for sharing with us. I'm already going through some of the things you mentioned in your post and I'm only 4 montha into my journey! Life is fun and exciting now and look forward to what the future holds!

I've lost a couple of friends already but I guess they were never true friends to begin with. I too am learning how to stand up for myself in a room of people. I have a voice! I feel like I'm growing flight feathers and will soon be flying in no time! And pleasing people is no longer my utmost priority because I deserve to be treated with respect too!

You say you'de do it again in a heart beat? Well, I feel the same way. This is one of the best things I've done for myself. This was the best thing I could have done for myself.

I was shopping for a new automobile the other day and found out that this surgery cost less than 1/2 of a new vehicle! I felt like I got a tremendous bargain! A new lease on life is more like it!

[Iluvharleys 15]

Carmen - What an awsome job you have done. Thank you so much for sharing that with us.

[Kristy 0]

Carmen,

Thank you for sharing today. It is helpful to me (a relative newbie) to have realistic expectations of what is to come. I keep reminding myself that although I am changing how food its into my life and all the ah-ha's that come with that, that the band is a tool and I need to work with it to accomplish my goal.

By the way, I think I started this journey already being considered a 'bitch' by some because I am a tad bit out spoken. I wonder if it will get worse (maybe that isn't possible)?!?!

[Zoe 6]

What a wonderful message, Carmen. Your transformation, inside and out, is inspiring!

[claraluz 2]

Carmen, let me just add my "thank you" and "congratulations!" to the list. I am so glad that you posted this because I could see myself in so much of what you wrote. My weight loss has been even slower than yours, but it hardly matters. The most amazing change since getting banded has not been getting thinner, but getting more confident and assertive. And productive. And creative. I am not really sure why all of these changes happened when I began to lose weight, but I am very grateful for them. And I'm grateful to you of reminding me of them.

Nancy