I Am 60!!! Years Oldand Things are Bleak

[bitteroldhag 0]

Though I turned 60 in late July, I'm still depressed. I been noting things about myself that are generally problems of old people. First, my nose hairs seem to grow an inch or two overnight. This may not be so bad since I can blend them in with my beard which is heavier than most of my male students. True, I noticed the nose hair problem at age 55, but it seems to be worse. At least I don't have hair in my ears. My brother who is 58 worries about hair in his ears. I had a neighbor who had a whole tuft of hair in each ear. He looked like a Hobbit or something. But he got sent to the pen for raping a 14 year old girl when he was 69 and barely able to walk. I never did believe that story. I don't think Homer was capable of raping a street sign, much less a 14 year old girl. But he did take care of his retirement with good medical care.

But I digress. In addition to nose hairs, I have a bad back, a bad heart, allergies, and a balding pubic area. I suspect there are some more bad physical problems, but I don't want to know. But the worst thing is that I have started reminiscing. I have actually started thinking about how things were better when I was a kid. Naturally, things were better. I didn't have to work and support the dogs, cats and mother. I was thin and attractive. We had a big old Buick which weighed the earth and used gas like crazy. It also overheated when we ran the air conditioner, and we lived in East Texas. But I had some good times in that Buick. I do things like think about the clothes we wore in high school (everything matched -- sweater, skirt and socks). I actually had a dream about people's noses. Is this strange or what?

I think I may be put in the nursing home sooner than I had planned. I plan to die at age 72 which will give me 8 years of boring retirement before I go over the rainbow bridge. But my nightmare is being put in a nursing home where people beat me up, and I don't have any kids to protect me! My students have promised to protect me, but I suspect that means a more brutal nursing home. So things are looking bleak for me. I hope you all are younger and have kids. Be nice to them. They may save you from being beat up in the nursing home. For myself, it's all over because I'm officially old. God!!!

[Croatica 0]

First, my nose hairs seem to grow an inch or two overnight.

So does my boyfriend's, and he is 23. Some people's nose hair is just restless, hehe.

But I digress. In addition to nose hairs, I have a bad back, a bad heart, allergies, and a balding pubic area.

Cool, a balding pubic area! Wish I had that. My BF would be thrilled. lol

I didn't have to work and support the dogs, cats and mother.

Sometimes when I see a baby which is carried around, I feel envy. I wish I could go back to being breast-fed and shitting in my pants. But it's not gonna happen. lol

I plan to die at age 72

You can scedule these kind of things? Where do I sign up? lol

Hey, relax. Everybody dies eventually and every human existence is futile, but we can at least have a nice laugh on the way to the other side of the rainbow. :heh:

[green 6]

Congratulations, Bitter, on yer 60th birthday. I just turned 58 on the 4th of July and spent the day the way I spend all birthdays and Christmases, feeling sour, hostile, and in need of chemical obliterants to help me get through 24 hours of disappointment.

I, too, have a strangely balding pubis because my Hair growth seems to have migrated upwards to my lower face. Electrolysis is not an option because this only works on dark fur and my whiskers are the colour and the texture of basteing thread. This means that I have got to hand remove the bastards. I guess that I am fortunate that I don't yet have a major problem with the nose hairs but I did buy a weed-whacker designed to attack the nasal woolies and I occasionally use this tool.

I don't know whether this will cheer you up but men seem to suffer from nasal hair issues much earlier than we do. My husband who is still in his 40s sprouts one single long hair from his nose which both grosses me out and frightens me. This hair is awfully thick and looks just like a goddam antenna! The trouble is that he doesn't notice it until I point it out to him.

I also worked for a very lovely man who was still in his 30s at the time. He looked like he had thatches of armpit hair growing out of his nostrils. I found it terribly distracting. His wife sure was not taking care of his business.

I certainly find your dream about noses interesting; have you been reading Gogol recently?

Bette Davis said that "ageing isn't for sissies," and she is right, of course. Given that you have plans to fall off your perch at the age of 72, you might do well to make an assessment of how you wish to live your next 12 years, something in the way of a cost-benefit analysis.

You certainly do sound like an adorable individual: witty, intelligent, affectionate (as evidenced by your relationships with your students) yet not lumbered down by sentimentality, and a good cook to boot. And Green admits to being particularly fond of those who, like her, have opted for animals in lieu of children. She is inclined to think of them as kindred spirits.

From having read quite a few of your communiques I get the impression that you do enjoy the company of your animals. You must correct me if I am wrong.

Your mother seems to be an altogether separate question. I suspect that she truly is a burden on your limited resources and here I speak of your time and energy both physical and emotional. Crudely put, if I were you I would be inclined to warehouse her in a nursing home and get on with enjoying your life, your next 12 years. (I guess this is the point where I should mention that although we were fond of our parents neither of my 2 brothers nor I were especially guilt-ridden with respect to our relationship to them when they became old and infirm. This is possibly because they placed so much performance guilt on us when we were young that they wore us out. It is also true that we were aware that they had lead extraordinarily rich and interesting lives while they were still in good trim.)

[green 6]

PS, I really enjoyed Croatia's reply.

[BJean 16]

These are great posts!!!

When I turned 60 I spent the day catatonic. I have never quite recovered. I do not think of myself as being overweight, unattractive and old. But alas, I am all three.

I realized this last year when I went to my first theraputic Water aerobics class. All the women were older, had knees replaced or hip replacements and were overweight. I was seriously embarrassed to be so arthritic that I had to attend a class with old ladies. When I was removing my shoes on the bench that first day I heard the ladies talking. One was complaining about being tired of people mistaking her husband (15 years her junior) for her son. I nervously giggled and said, "Well, you're not old. How old are you?" To which she replied, "Fifty-seven." Gasp. Shudder. Faint.

I eventually learned that all but one of the 10 women in the class were younger than I!!!!! So with that knowledge I had to come to the realization that I was they, or they were me, or whatever! Sob!! What a bruising reality check.

I do feel quite fortunate that since hair is not one of my finer assets, I have not experienced the dreaded nose hair debacle. Nor am I bald in the pubic region... I guess. Well, how the hell do you know that?? I'd have to do some serious investigating and I'm sure I don't want to know anyway. My older sister told me that the most depressing sign of aging was when you start sprouting grey pubes. So I'm too scared to look.

Aging sure ain't for sissies. I heard the other day that dear old Lady Bird Johnson just went to sleep and was gone. Now that's a class act. Outlive your DH, continue to have a good life and one day just silently fade into the sunset. Tres chic.

My fear is to be very ill for a period of time and have to depend upon the goodness of others for my every need. We all know how good others are, don't we! Unfortunately when you are old and infirm, you are very unattractive to the younger folk and consequently they would really prefer it if they could just give you some Jones spiked Kool-aid. Frankly if I am unable to have any kind of respectable quality of life, I'd gladly drink the damn stuff! Many times things happen too fast for us to make a decision like that. Once we're totally dependent, they don't let us decide anything!! Baastaards!

Well, let's keep dancing... break out the booze and have a ball... while we still can!

[dynofan 0]

Sounds like you need some Prozac....; I'm not kidding! I've seen depression and know how devastating it can be. Also, I'll be 60 next month; and yes,I wish I'd done this sooner! However, I'm only a year out and about 75 pounds down. I don't have any kids, so no one is going to take care of me if I don't take care of myself! Moving beyond the prejudice of being overweight I have been better able to keep up with others on the job who are probably half my age. I'm still working on an exercise routine and I keep up with the latest research in life extension. We only get this journey once so I'm going to try and make the most of it!!!

[BJean 16]

dynofan: Wow, sounds like you have your act together! That's fabulous.

I think Bitteroldwoman has a marvelous sense of humor and is doing her danged level best to get at least a chuckle out of the things that can drag her down every day. When you stop being able to laugh about sh$t that happens is when you need drugs.

Btw, Prozac is for the birds. I'd rather have a drug that doesn't keep me from achieving a "happy ending" if you know what I mean. :heh:

[Lucy 0]

Forget the planned death. Where do I sign up for the balding pubic area?

[BJean 16]

Yeah baby, much better than a Brazilian wax job!! :omg:

[green 6]

Hah hah. Would that the balding pubis resembled a Brazilian wax job but the sad truth that the site is more likely to look like an old geezer's skull. There are an array of the crinklies but these are kinda sparse. Think of a lawn after a drought. You will see a few the odd spears of green poking up here and there. Oh, ugh! Signs of life, I guess....

[AshevilleEddie 14]

Forget the planned death. Where do I sign up for the balding pubic area?

Eww!

You will see a few the odd spears of green poking up here and there.

Spears of green?? Poking up from there?? Double eww!!!

[green 6]

Eww!

Spears of green?? Poking up from there?? Double eww!!!

Nice to hear from you again, Ms Dad. We've been missing you, ya know.

P.S. Don't diss the Green, eh. :heh:

[gibby1227 0]

This is a wonderful thread I have enjoyed reading all the posts. I am 54 and can relate to some of the thing you talk about but the best thing is you have all kept your sense of humour, don't ever lose that, goodness that is all that is left!!!!!! Enjoy life to the fullest cause when it is over there is not looking back and saying "I should have........

[green 6]

Green promises not to lose her sense of humour until she has senile dementia - then all bets are off because Green herself will be in anutha zone. She was hoping to be put on an ice floe at this point but now that we have Global Warming this will not be an option. :think So much for leaving with dignity, eh.

[BJean 16]

Hey, maybe that's why Gore has his jockey's in a wad... he was planning on fading away on an ice floe. Not a bad idea Green, except for the part about there being no readily available ice floe handy in the 30 or so years that I have left. (I am much more optimistic than Jack on that score.) But if I am more of a veggie than a real person, I'd rather give up the last 15 or so... My what cheerful thoughts! :tired