No friends

[dawnmac3903 103]

I had my sleeve on 4/13/16. I never really realized how few friends I have until I started this journey. My husband has been amazing but he's pretty clueless when it comes to pretty much everything to do with the sleeve. I've been out of work and home alone for over 2 weeks and not one of my so called friends has stopped by to see me and it's so sad to me. When I get sad I would usually turn to food but since I can't , I don't know what to do. I'm 38 years old. I'm too old to make new friends. Even the coworkers that I've worked with for 16 years !! Not one of them has reached out to me. Well, just one has through text. But you get what I'm saying. I'm a great friend! I just don't get it?!!

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[2goldengirl 2,076]

Too old to make new friends? I can't count the number of dear friends I've made since I was 38!

I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, but this statement really shocked me.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so sorry you are disappointed in your friends. I am a big believer in giving folks the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they aren't sure if you are up for visitors. Have you reached out to someone and asked them to stop by?

Once you are recovered from surgery, you will have an opportunity to widen your circle of friends.

In the meantime, take care of yourself and don't be afraid to ask for what you need. You may not always get it, but if you don't ask you most certainly won't.

[SEVENTYSIXGIRL 51]

So sorry you aren't receiving support. I agree with surfer girl. I know many times when my friends have gone out for surgery, I have good intentions to call/see them, but I always think they must want time alone or worry I'll impose.

I'm sure they care about you, but are stuck in one of those traps.

This experience has been good for me to see how to support my friends. Now I know what kind of support I have appreciated.

Keep your chin up!

[rosestara 48]

You can make friends after 38. I am 45 and I made a great friend 2 years ago and now she is my closest friend, even closer than friends I've had for 20 years. She is in her 50's so she made a close friend and she is older than both of us. I am sorry you are feeling lonely. How did your friends react when you told them about the surgery? Did they say they would support you?

[maria1026 8]

Hello Dawn. I was sleeved on the same day as you. You've found a new friend.

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[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

I knew it...

People suck...

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Yeah ... I think you're just feeling a little post-op depression.

Time to leave the house. And probably time to go back to work.

BTW -- you do know the #2 rule of life, don't you? Seriously, it's in a best-selling book:

"No one is thinking about you. They're all thinking about themselves--just like you."

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004H1U2HO/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?ie=UTF8&btkr=1

[KristenLe 5,979]

I would never think to stop by a friend's house without an invite. Actually, maybe it's just me but I wouldn't want anyone stopping by my house either. They may be waiting for you to reach out first so they know they're not bothering you. Many people don't understand WLS and may feel uncomfortable reaching out to you. If you want company, reach out to one of them. I'm the opposite - especially if I don't feel good - stay away! . I like dogs more than people!

[Wayward Traveler 135]

Too old to make new friends?!? There's no such thing!! In fact, since I turned 40 I've made new friends who are both older and younger than I am ... some of those friends are in their 70s, and they're clearly still making new friends. :-) It's all about finding new things that you enjoy, to take the place of the food. In those places you can make new friends. You can also make new friends in a WLS support group. If you check around, I bet there are some in your area.

But as @@KristenLe said, maybe your current friends just don't want to intrude? I bet if you invited them over, or asked them to meet you someone to go for a walk, they would. But if you reach out and they don't respond, well then they were never real friends in the first place, and it's time to find better ones in healthier places. But I bet you will be surprised at how they respond. :-)

Best wishes!

[Janiegirl1 11]

I had my sleeve on 4/13/16. I never really realized how few friends I have until I started this journey. My husband has been amazing but he's pretty clueless when it comes to pretty much everything to do with the sleeve. I've been out of work and home alone for over 2 weeks and not one of my so called friends has stopped by to see me and it's so sad to me. When I get sad I would usually turn to food but since I can't , I don't know what to do. I'm 38 years old. I'm too old to make new friends. Even the coworkers that I've worked with for 16 years !! Not one of them has reached out to me. Well, just one has through text. But you get what I'm saying. I'm a great friend! I just don't get it?!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I am so sorry!! I so know the pain of friends letting you down. I'll be praying for you, and I hope that your friends will turn around and feel led to reach out.... And start feeling loved on!!!

Sent from my VS986 using the BariatricPal App

[Montana Gal 448]

​The three best women friends I have now I made after the age of 45. They are all older than me, one is even 86. So no, it's never too late. Your hormones are probably all over the place right now, so that makes your thinking do the same thing. A lot of times people don't know what to say and are reluctant to come without an invite. Call them, see what happens. There is a huge supply of friends here, you are not alone in this!!!

[Christinamo7 4,042]

maybe I am just ancient, but I don't think 38 is "too old" for anything. except maybe high school. you will make a lot of new friends in your life!

but really, they may just be waiting for an invite, and it is GREAT that your hub is supportive. so many people do not have that.

I went through some depression in the weeks following surgery (hormone dump) and you may be doing the same, getting out in the sunshine, even if it is by yourself does wonders.

[Nurse_Lenora 903]

I understand but honestly, a few years ago I found out who my true friends were and the answer was...no one !

I have learned to be my own best friend and you know what? I like it!

I have acquaintances but no one I would call a friend and no one who has been to my home etc....

I would say find a new hobby, something to take the place of food ...I have gotten more into couponing lately and honestly it's good! I'm not the 65 bottles of Tide in my basement type in more of the stack coupons and get things for free or nearly free type.

[Clementine Sky 708]

I'm not 38 yet but I will say that in my 30s I've met some of the friends I cherish the most. My husband is 40 and has also made new friends. At our age I think it's common for professionals to be moving to new cities, and constructing their social lives there. Even people who've lived in the same city their whole lives can make new friends there. My grandmother lived to 92 and was still making friends. I've met a lot of my friends through the Junior League and Step Up, which are both volunteer organizations for women.

This has some helpful ideas about how to make new friends: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/finding-friendship-at-every-stage-of-your-life-175428

Before trying to make new friends, though, I'd try reaching out to the ones you already have. If they know about your surgery they might simply be giving you space to recuperate and waiting for you to signal to them that you're ready to get together again. I'd try texting them and inviting them to come over or to go out for a movie or something. You've had something major in your life, but they've had things going on in their lives too.