Leading up to my death?

[KristenLe 5,979]

I really would not want my loved one "saying goodbye" before surgery. My boyfriend just had surgery and I told him I loved him as they wheeled him into the OR - but we tell each other that every day too. If he started to say his "goodbyes" I would have lost it and been even more of a wreck than I was. Tell them you love them and reassure them you will be fine!

[anitavee 57]

My friend lost her mother after a Bypass due to a blood clot. I was afraid I would not wake up but I made my plans privately with my husband. I didn't say Good Byes because I wasn't ready to go. I felt God had a different plan for me.

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[tobysgirl 58]

The first surgery i ever had was getting my gallbladder removed when I was in my late 30's. When I was on the stretcher outside of the operating room, I pleaded with the doctor to cancel. He wouldn't cancel and I survived but I still remember that "fear to my core" feeling even today years later. It's normal to be afraid. Every surgery carries risks.

For my weight loss surgery, I wasn't afraid. I thought I would be. I thought I should be but I never had that feeling. I had two motivations though that carried me through. First, I felt like I was heading toward a major cardiac event from being obese. Second, my baby brother was scheduled for surgery and I felt compelled to do it first to let him know it would be ok. That sounds kind of odd but it's how I felt.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

I'm three and a half weeks past surgery. I don't have shortness of breath anymore from normal walking and my heart doesn't pound in the middle of the night. I've only lost about 20 pounds but I already know that my health is greatly improved.

[Megall9 268]

I've never lost anyone to wls. While I am anxious and nervous about surgery and recovery, I'm not worried about dying on the table. Of course surgery carries risks, but I'd rather take a risk than face the certain future of heart attack if I keep going the way I've been going. I go in just shortly after you, May 9th.

[Sparkles!! 77]

I agree that the fear is pretty normal. I haven't had surgery, and won't for a few more months, but I've had similar concerns.

In fact, when I first started looking at surgery options, a friend of mine finally blurted out, "I don't think you should do this. You could die, and I don't want you to die!" I paused for a moment, trying to think of how to best respond, before finally saying something along the lines of, "Yeah, I could die, but there are a lot of things in this world that can kill me, including obesity. I don't want to die either, but I'd rather risk that than do nothing." She didn't necessarily like the answer, but she understood it.

Later, as I thought back on that conversation, it dawned on me that I hadn't just been trying to convince her, but that I really did feel that way. We're all here for different reasons, choosing to have (or have had) surgery to do something that will hopefully change our lives for the better - so we can live life on our terms.

So yeah, the fear is pretty normal, but so is the determination to really live :-) Do whatever you feel you need to so that when you go into surgery you can breath easy, but I have no doubt that we'll be seeing plenty more posts from you post-op!

[OKCPirate 5,323]

I didn't fear death, but I'm a single dad, so I had all my estate planning up-to-date. Prepare for the worst but realize the odds of any complication are really, REALLY low. I never heard of a death, but with this many people getting it, the odds that a fat person will die having any surgery are what they are.

[cdsjjotn 516]

Only positive thoughts and excitement for the future is what I focused on. My oldest daughter knows my wishes and what to do if anything ever happened to me. But I taught her that the day she turned 18. She is 29 now. I wouldn't want anyone thinking it could be the last time they see me. Instead we said I love you like any other day and see you in a few hours.

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[1cutiejulie 72]

I've never lost anyone to wls. While I am anxious and nervous about surgery and recovery, I'm not worried about dying on the table. Of course surgery carries risks, but I'd rather take a risk than face the certain future of heart attack if I keep going the way I've been going. I go in just shortly after you, May 9th.

Hoping for a speedy recovery for u! Thanks for responding!

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

[1cutiejulie 72]

I agree that the fear is pretty normal. I haven't had surgery, and won't for a few more months, but I've had similar concerns.

In fact, when I first started looking at surgery options, a friend of mine finally blurted out, "I don't think you should do this. You could die, and I don't want you to die!" I paused for a moment, trying to think of how to best respond, before finally saying something along the lines of, "Yeah, I could die, but there are a lot of things in this world that can kill me, including obesity. I don't want to die either, but I'd rather risk that than do nothing." She didn't necessarily like the answer, but she understood it.

Later, as I thought back on that conversation, it dawned on me that I hadn't just been trying to convince her, but that I really did feel that way. We're all here for different reasons, choosing to have (or have had) surgery to do something that will hopefully change our lives for the better - so we can live life on our terms.

So yeah, the fear is pretty normal, but so is the determination to really live :-) Do whatever you feel you need to so that when you go into surgery you can breath easy, but I have no doubt that we'll be seeing plenty more posts from you post-op!

Touched in so many ways by ur post. I'm gonna remember to grab tissues before I visit this site! Sheesh u guys always have me in happy tears. Lol thank u

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

[melyssafaye 181]

My best friend died about 7 moths after RNY. It still isn't clear the exact cause but I believe that it was partly due to alcohol and drugs. She moved out of state right before surgery so I wasn't there all the time, but prior to surgery she had some serious alcohol issues that she was in denial about and also used a lot of recreational drugs.

Before she died, she was having trouble regulating her blood sugar due to drinking so much at night. I still miss her all the time.

When I went into surgery, it was on my mind but I just figured that if it was time to punch my card, dying while under anesthesia wouldn't be a bad way to go, all things considered. I could think of a lot worse scenarios.

I trusted my team and told those I love that I loved them and reassured them that I was in good hands.

I have made a firm commitment to do everything my surgeon tells me to do, even when I think I know better or when it's hard. I selected him because I believed he was the best and getting out of my own way and doing the work is what will make all the difference.

[Tssiemer1 549]

Yes it's normal. I've had 9 surgeries. It's very normal.

I don't know anyone who died but of course everyone has a story of a friend of a friend's brother in laws sister dying.

You need to do whatever makes you feel better.

[Juhygtfrdsd 154]

@@1cutiejulie if u follow me i was righy their with u i even made a good bye video to my husband and kids cause i did not want to scare them told my husband where it was at on my phone. Told him where the will is, how to pay bills blah blah...Their is a risk of death and i feel like im like murphy law figured i would be that % and wouldbe the one who died...so your not alone...i dont know anyone who has died feom it personally but another sleever knew 2 people who had serious complications but they were seriously over weight. I feel you and i was strong as much as i could for my husband...he did mini videos while i was in surgery to see after and then told me he saw my video for 3 seconds had to stop..lol so cute...if anyone was terrified i was!!!

[PaulaB72 49]

@@1cutiejulie if u follow me i was righy their with u i even made a good bye video to my husband and kids cause i did not want to scare them told my husband where it was at on my phone. Told him where the will is, how to pay bills blah blah...Their is a risk of death and i feel like im like murphy law figured i would be that % and wouldbe the one who died...so your not alone...i dont know anyone who has died feom it personally but another sleever knew 2 people who had serious complications but they were seriously over weight. I feel you and i was strong as much as i could for my husband...he did mini videos while i was in surgery to see after and then told me he saw my video for 3 seconds had to stop..lol so cute...if anyone was terrified i was!!!

I actually think that mini video is a pretty smart idea.

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[1cutiejulie 72]

@@1cutiejulie if u follow me i was righy their with u i even made a good bye video to my husband and kids cause i did not want to scare them told my husband where it was at on my phone. Told him where the will is, how to pay bills blah blah...Their is a risk of death and i feel like im like murphy law figured i would be that % and wouldbe the one who died...so your not alone...i dont know anyone who has died feom it personally but another sleever knew 2 people who had serious complications but they were seriously over weight. I feel you and i was strong as much as i could for my husband...he did mini videos while i was in surgery to see after and then told me he saw my video for 3 seconds had to stop..lol so cute...if anyone was terrified i was!!!

Bless u and thanks for sharing!

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

[Dub 9,922]

No....I never had such worries.

I was in great hands. The surgeon I chose was top notch and a master of his craft. His surgical staff were all very experienced with bariatric patients....the wing of the hospital my room was in was 100% wls patients.

This is what they do.....we are who they help on a daily basis.

The risks for my sleeve surgery were pretty much the same as with my prior hernia repairs, ankle surgery, knee surgeries, etc.

There wasn't much that concerned me about the surgery.

There was, however, a great deal that concerned me with the physical state I was in BEFORE sleeve surgery. I was a wreck......a heart attack waiting to happen. Losing 50+ pounds during the pre-op time frame that led up to surgery had my confidence up....and actually feeling a bit better.

I would go back and have the sleeve done again and again. It was a piece of cake.

Now is the time to push aside any drama and relax. Focus on working hard on the pre-op diet and get in as much exercise as you can. You'll feel better for it and be able to sleep much easier.

All good things are going to happen if you allow them to.

Work hard.......rest hard......be at ease.