Fairly new to this blog. Need some advice ASAP

[1cutiejulie 72]

Well I've been on the 2 week diet plan that my surgeon has given me. This last week has been especially hard due to my cycle starting in the middle of the week. It was then that I noticed that I truly AM an emotional eater. Sweets make me smile. So I cheated. Only to feel bad and naughty in doing so. I also realized that my husband might not be as supportive as he appears to be. I went shopping for my new diet and he bought my favorite bread (which he has NEVER purchased) and of course, ice cream. I know that I'm a steam engine waiting to blow this week coming if he tries any stupid stunts like that again. I just pray I'll make it through this upcoming liquid phase. I don't have any friends or family here (military wife and veteran myself). I feel extremely alone. I feel my depression is coming back. This journey has been so tiring that sometimes quitting seems too easy. Either way, thanks for letting me vent.

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

[2goldengirl 2,076]

Welcome aboard!

The preop diet phase is, for many of us, the hardest hurdle in the journey. But we get through it. There are many good online resources and books about emotional eating, and I'd really recommend that you do as much work there as you can starting now. There are techniques you can learn to talk yourself off the "I gotta eat this NOW" cliff that will come in really handy, especialy in the early postop days when what you eat is so limited.

As far as your depression, are you currently on medication? If you aren't, talk with your primary doctor about whether or not you need to start some preop. Many folks here find that a period of postop depression on being separated from (as one poster put it) "my best friend, food". It doesn't last long, but it can really throw you for a while.

How soon is your surgery?

Edited April 23, 2016 by 2goldengirl

[Montana Gal 448]

​It's hard to not have the support of family or friends, I am sorry for that. But, this is your journey and you can do this. If he is trying to sabatoge your efforts, he might be scared of the changes he sees in you...talk to him. You cheated on your pre op diet, don't do it again. Today is a new day, grab a sugar free popsicle or Jello when the sweet tooth hits. This is a good time to seek out counseling if you don't already have it. You can do this, it's hard I know, but well worth it! Keep coming back to this forum, it's an amazing and supportive community. I wish you the best of luck.

[KristenLe 5,979]

Do you have counseling available to deal with the emotional eating? I just started and I think it's going to help me on my journey. Also - there are some great books and articles to read. I have downloaded The First Aid Kit to living after Bariatric Surgery which is good. Here's an article too. Sometimes our loved ones are afraid and might not be aware that they are sabotaging us. Talk to him and let him know you need his support! Good luck! As a Veteran - you have the strength to get through this! Stay strong! You can do this!

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/diet-weight-loss/emotional-eating.htm

[James Marusek 5,244]

I hate diets. So here is some advice. Exercise. Walk about 30 minutes every day from now on. It will really help with your recovery process and also you will have less pain after surgery.

If you haven't given up caffeine and carbonated beverages, do so now. I went cold turkey on my 6 diet coke a day habit and lost 20 pounds on that change alone. Also since you will probably have to give up caffeine for the surgery, when you get off it you may experience a week of withdrawal syndrome - bad headaches and body aches. You do not want to mix the withdrawal syndrome with the recovery process. That is like getting hit with a one two punch.

Read food labels. Become smart on calories. Many foods are loaded. I love milk shakes at Steak and shake. But after seeing how many calories they contain, I had to give it up. So I did.

There are many types of sweeteners. So if you have a sweet tooth like I do, get educated about the various types. You can still satisfy your sweet tooth, you just have to change the type you eat.

[1cutiejulie 72]

Welcome aboard!

The preop diet phase is, for many of us, the hardest hurdle in the journey. But we get through it. There are many good online resources and books about emotional eating, and I'd really recommend that you do as much work there as you can starting now. There are techniques you can learn to talk yourself off the "I gotta eat this NOW" cliff that will come in really handy, especialy in the early postop days when what you eat is so limited.

As far as your depression, are you currently on medication? If you aren't, talk with your primary doctor about whether or not you need to start some preop. Many folks here find that a period of postop depression on being separated from (as one poster put it) "my best friend, food". It doesn't last long, but it can really throw you for a while.

How soon is your surgery?

Hello ma'am. Thank you so much for ur kind words! Yes I am researching eating disorders and I am currently taking Welbutrin XL. My depression had been in control for quite sometime now but this surgery is a major stressor. My appetite is small because I think my stomach may be shrinking. I talked to my husband and let him know how I was feeling and we had a very good talk. I'm glad to know that he is understanding and loves me a lot. I guess I'm just a ball of emotions. Lol I wonder is that normal. Sounds like it might be. Anyways, have a wonderful day and I hope to talk to you again soon. *Surgery date is May 3rd*

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

[Doc'sWife 56]

Hey lady! I'm active duty wife and Vet myself. You have tons of support available to you. You just have to look for it

First try a basic root of seeking out other mil wives around you that have been through the same thing. Try any base Facebook pages if your willing to be public about it, if not simply post on here in any section that your looking for a spouse in your area for support. I posted on here when I first started out and I found support that helped a ton. I bet you'll find more than you thought. Second look up a Bariatric support group around you. Any hospital that has a Bariatric program usually has one and all you have to do is ask the Bariatric clinic. Thirdly if you really are having issues with depression find a therapist that takes tricare and get some help. THERE IS NO SHAME IN NEEDING HELP!! I promise

If all else fails find WLS specific Facebook pages and see if there is anyone in the area. Or go to YouTube. Defiantly stay on here, you will find tons of ppl willing to help you on your journey.

As for an unsupportive spouse you need to sit him down and tell him what's what. Have a come to Jesus moment and just tell him you need his support and to stop doing this crap.

You can do this Hun! Stick to it your not alone

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[jaxmom 644]

Ooooooo exactly what Docs wife said!!!! Sit da hubby down and tell him what's what. This is about you and you NEED support. And don't be afraid to reach out to this community- they rock. You, as a vet have given so much of yourself... If time for YOU NOW. You have got this!!!! XOXO

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[FocusOnMeNow 599]

Throw the bread and the ice cream in the trash (in the outside trash not the kitchen trash where he will see it). And also you might want to start therapy, going to support groups there's the support group sponsored by your doctors office, for military wives, and also there is Overeaters Anonymous, which I cannot recommend highly enough. Now post surgery you will have to deal with letting other people eat what they want to. And not letting that effect you (if you feel tempted by what he eats for dinner, then just excuse yourself from the room and go do something else like start typing like mad to your bariatric pals). If you are going to cheat on pre op diet at least make it a healthy high Protein nutritious cheat. Do not cheat with carbs or sugar or white flour. If you stay solid on your diet for 3-4 days the hunger pangs will go away, but every time you have sugar/flour/carbs it will bring the hunger gremlins back. We've all cheated so don't beat yourself up but honestly you're cheating yourself if you continue to sabotage yourself in this way. Big hugs! You can do this! You got this! And ALL of us are pulling for you[emoji41]

[1cutiejulie 72]

Mind readers are what u all are! I swear I wanted to toss those things away but I didn't. Heck, I don't even like ice cream to begin with! Lol I think it's just hormones maybe. Either way, I did have a talk with him and he understood my point. My liquid diet starts Monday and I WILL get through this! As hard as this seems to be, I know that it isn't impossible. U ladies are my living proof! Every one of u are SOLDIERS that I look up to. I salute you all!!!

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

[165B445 188]

Well I've been on the 2 week diet plan that my surgeon has given me. This last week has been especially hard due to my cycle starting in the middle of the week. It was then that I noticed that I truly AM an emotional eater. Sweets make me smile. So I cheated. Only to feel bad and naughty in doing so. I also realized that my husband might not be as supportive as he appears to be. I went shopping for my new diet and he bought my favorite bread (which he has NEVER purchased) and of course, ice cream. I know that I'm a steam engine waiting to blow this week coming if he tries any stupid stunts like that again. I just pray I'll make it through this upcoming liquid phase. I don't have any friends or family here (military wife and veteran myself). I feel extremely alone. I feel my depression is coming back. This journey has been so tiring that sometimes quitting seems too easy. Either way, thanks for letting me vent.

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

I know the struggle is real... keep venting... and thank you for your service for our country.

Sent from my KFTT using the BariatricPal App

[1cutiejulie 72]

Well I've been on the 2 week diet plan that my surgeon has given me. This last week has been especially hard due to my cycle starting in the middle of the week. It was then that I noticed that I truly AM an emotional eater. Sweets make me smile. So I cheated. Only to feel bad and naughty in doing so. I also realized that my husband might not be as supportive as he appears to be. I went shopping for my new diet and he bought my favorite bread (which he has NEVER purchased) and of course, ice cream. I know that I'm a steam engine waiting to blow this week coming if he tries any stupid stunts like that again. I just pray I'll make it through this upcoming liquid phase. I don't have any friends or family here (military wife and veteran myself). I feel extremely alone. I feel my depression is coming back. This journey has been so tiring that sometimes quitting seems too easy. Either way, thanks for letting me vent.

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

I know the struggle is real... keep venting... and thank you for your service for our country.

Sent from my KFTT using the BariatricPal App

I've never been able to really vent. I'm so soft spoken that even if I vented, it sorta falls on deaf ears.

I'm glad u all r so supportive!

And serving our wonderful country was my pleasure!

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

[caligirltt 60]

I think everyone has said every piece of advice you could ever need! This site is great. I have a HUGE amount of support but sometimes that still is not enough. This is a journey that only those who have gone through it truly understand and sometimes this forum has been better then having support. Our "support people" don't always know how to support us or know what to say. This group will get you through this. If you're having trouble just post. Even if it's just help now! It will get your mind off food and people to talk to that truly understand your struggle. You got this!! [emoji8][emoji178]

[1cutiejulie 72]

I think everyone has said every piece of advice you could ever need! This site is great. I have a HUGE amount of support but sometimes that still is not enough. This is a journey that only those who have gone through it truly understand and sometimes this forum has been better then having support. Our "support people" don't always know how to support us or know what to say. This group will get you through this. If you're having trouble just post. Even if it's just help now! It will get your mind off food and people to talk to that truly understand your struggle. You got this!!

Thank you ma'am!

If u fail to plan, u plan to fail.

[smg 471]

Being 8 days post-op I can tell you that, for me, the pre-op diet was MUCH more difficult than the post-op diet. My wife and kids have been supportive in that they would eat upstairs in my wife's office...lol. Since the surgery, though, I can be in the same room as the food and have little to no desire (aside from mental desire) to eat it. I rarely feel "hungry" and I hear from a lot of others it was that way for them too.

Hopefully your husband will realize you're doing this to better your life (which obviously includes him!) and come around to be there for you.

Best of luck to you!