Mixture of feelings including shame, denial, and more guilt.

[DylanRae 71]

I was sleeved November 2014, just about a year and a half ago. I have lost a little over 100lbs since surgery. Oh, i had the sleeve. My recovery was a little rough, with dehydration problems and the inability to keep literally anything down, but after 3 months i was well on my way to a "full" recovery.

Okay, more stats:

Im 25 (23 at time of surgery)

5'4" tall

Biggest 330lbs for several years

Advrage pre-surgery 260-280lbs

Day of surgery 275lbs

Goal weight 125-135lbs (healthy bmi range)

Current weight for the last... 6+ months 160-168lbs

I have never once made exercise a priority or even a habit. (Although i am a active laborer working on construction sites) i never logged a meal for more than a couple days. I absolutely eat sweets (far more often then im willing to admit). The most I do in terms of dieting (outside of the healing process after surgery) is I always eat chicken and other Proteins before anything else, and I don't drink liquids after a meal. Outside of that, I know that im eating like a skinny girl. You know what im talking about. I eat like i have never once had a weight problem. I eat whatever i want. Just much less of it.

Im worried that now that i have stayed the same weight for so long, in combination with my current lifestyle that the next step is gaining weight.

I have started to do very basic body weight strength training exercises, nothing that gets my heart rate going though. I can come up with every excuse in the book as to why i am not doing better.

When i talk to people about it i play down my habits as if they are not as bad as they really are. In other words I don't tell the whole truth. My boyfriend knows, but I don't think he understands the full "weight " of my habits. We started dating after my surgery so he doesn't really understand it all, in his mind I already am eating somewhat healthy.

While most days i wont admit it, i know that the #1 top thing i need to absolutely change is my sugar intake. I eat so many sweets all the time (in comparison to how much i can eat).

Ugh. I feel so stupid because i KNOW im smarter than this. I know all the things im doing are wrong and the exact opposite of what i was told to do at the beginning. I even watched the warning signs fly past as I continued to eat whenever i was hungry.

I don't really know what else to say. This was mostly me venting, but also part fishing for others willing to admit they are as stupid as me, and of course advice or what you did to kick the bad habits.

Also, I should mention that i know how to break habits. I can stop doing something all day long. Its the starting that i have the issue with.

I should also mention that i am actively looking into plastic surgery options. I have quite a bit of skin on my belly and thighs even a bit on my arms. I know the photos don't show all that much extra skin, but as any originally morbid obese person can tell you, im a master of disguise.

Thanks.

    

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[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Have you considered therapy? There's a big difference between wanting to lose weight and thinking you're "supposed to" want to lose more. Either way, it can help to know the reasons why. You list a goal weight, but you're the one who gets to determine the number.

Have you considered a personal trainer? If I understood, you seem to be confusing the nature of strength-training with the nature of cardio.

All the pressure and negative talk you're giving yourself will never help.

[Babbs 14,681]

First of all, you look great!

But you're correct on the assumption that your habits will eventually cause weight gain, because they will. There will come a time when we will be able to eat closer to normal portions again, therefore the math speaks for itself. Also, most people I know who have kept their weight off years out stay very active moving or do have a steady excersise routine.

In my opinion, the easiest way to break the sugar habit is to just stop the sugar habit. Sugar causes cravings. No sugar, no cravings. I eat very little to no processed sugar and food for that reason alone. It's not because I'm so disciplined, I just find its easier to stay away from if you don't have it. And I HATE having to detox off of it. I feel like a heroin attic when I do, lol.

Being aware that your habits could be better is the first step. Just tweak a few things and you'll feel better and more in control. And yes, get additional help if needed whether it's from books, therapy, support groups, or whatever.

[jane13 2,256]

Babbs is 100% correct in her reply - IMO.

and you do look great, by the way!

[MBP 128]

You look fine at your current weight. Just make exercise a priority so that it'll help with weight management. Good luck!

[Pinkgirl1234 761]

You look fantastic!!!Stop worrying about a number and look at how much you have achieved.If you want to lose mor e it is the same as before....you know how...cut out carbs...load up Protein and get started....you know how to do this...100+ pounds...worth of knowledge.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

One thing you haven't yet told is ...

how much sugar ARE you eating?

How's about writing down and posting here everything you ate yesterday and how much.

Everything!

I get the feeling you aren't willing to be that transparent about it yet -- at least not here.

(Just sayin'.)

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I was sleeved November 2014, just about a year and a half ago. I have lost a little over 100lbs since surgery. Oh, i had the sleeve. My recovery was a little rough, with dehydration problems and the inability to keep literally anything down, but after 3 months i was well on my way to a "full" recovery.

Okay, more stats:

Im 25 (23 at time of surgery)

5'4" tall

Biggest 330lbs for several years

Advrage pre-surgery 260-280lbs

Day of surgery 275lbs

Goal weight 125-135lbs (healthy bmi range)

Current weight for the last... 6+ months 160-168lbs

I have never once made exercise a priority or even a habit. (Although i am a active laborer working on construction sites) i never logged a meal for more than a couple days. I absolutely eat sweets (far more often then im willing to admit). The most I do in terms of dieting (outside of the healing process after surgery) is I always eat chicken and other Proteins before anything else, and I don't drink liquids after a meal. Outside of that, I know that im eating like a skinny girl. You know what im talking about. I eat like i have never once had a weight problem. I eat whatever i want. Just much less of it.

Im worried that now that i have stayed the same weight for so long, in combination with my current lifestyle that the next step is gaining weight.

I have started to do very basic body weight strength training exercises, nothing that gets my heart rate going though. I can come up with every excuse in the book as to why i am not doing better.

When i talk to people about it i play down my habits as if they are not as bad as they really are. In other words I don't tell the whole truth. My boyfriend knows, but I don't think he understands the full "weight " of my habits. We started dating after my surgery so he doesn't really understand it all, in his mind I already am eating somewhat healthy.

While most days i wont admit it, i know that the #1 top thing i need to absolutely change is my sugar intake. I eat so many sweets all the time (in comparison to how much i can eat).

Ugh. I feel so stupid because i KNOW im smarter than this. I know all the things im doing are wrong and the exact opposite of what i was told to do at the beginning. I even watched the warning signs fly past as I continued to eat whenever i was hungry.

I don't really know what else to say. This was mostly me venting, but also part fishing for others willing to admit they are as stupid as me, and of course advice or what you did to kick the bad habits.

Also, I should mention that i know how to break habits. I can stop doing something all day long. Its the starting that i have the issue with.

I should also mention that i am actively looking into plastic surgery options. I have quite a bit of skin on my belly and thighs even a bit on my arms. I know the photos don't show all that much extra skin, but as any originally morbid obese person can tell you, im a master of disguise. ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1461212993.855660.jpg

Thanks.

ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1461212794.511557.jpg ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1461212828.813681.jpg ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1461212876.002345.jpg ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1461212942.385802.jpg ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1461212993.855660.jpg

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Congratulations on your weight loss. You look great!

Some thoughts:

You have taken the first step in recognizing that you aren't satisfied with where you are now. In addition, it sounds like you are being honest with yourself about what you are doing which is extremely valuable if you want to make changes.

One thing occurred to me when you mentioned that you have a very physical job is that you probably need to figure out what your body fat percentage is. Your goal weight MIGHT be unrealistic if you have a lot of muscle.

Why not see if you can get a thorough assessment. Do you lift weights at a gym? It would be worth it to see if they can do a fitness assessment for you. They can also help you fashion a program to help you reach your goals.

Also, go back to basics and follow your post-op food program. Track your food, You know what you are doing "wrong" but it also sounds like you don't know what you are doing right. How much Protein are you getting in? How much Water? Etc.

The best advice I can give you is to go back to basics and make an appointment with your NUT to talk about your goals and challenges. An appointment with a counselor or therapist to talk about the same thing would be really beneficial, too.

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

The thing I love about having the sleeve is that no one can ever take it away from me!

so. you look great BTW, and I already consider you a success! but - if you recognize things that you need to work on or change - then you can do so. by changing up your exercise and getting rid of foods that are not helpful you can continue to make progress. no guilt. We are all just getting better a little at a time. let us know how you are doing! :-)

[KristenLe 5,980]

You look incredible - and just looking at the before and after may give you the kick in the pants you need to stop eating all of the sweets and start exercising. You may not need to lose more weight but you don't want to get into the bad habits that got you near 300lbs. Clearly you know what you need to do! And I agree - counseling wouldn't hurt! Good luck! I hope to be as successful as you!

[Montana Gal 448]

​I agree with everyone's responses...look into therapy, go back to the basics and find healthy alternatives to the sweets. That said, you look amazing! You are young, strong and intelligent...no more negative thoughts!

[Cindi_Augustine 102]

I had the same issue with sugar and I want you to understand that it's NOT about willpower. Sugar has been proven to be as addictive as cocaine or tobacco. Don't feel like a failure if you're having trouble kicking it. I have just had to do a sugar cleanse in order to get control of my increasing sugar intake. You have to get it out of your system using behavioural and mental techniques. Reading David Kessler's book Sugar, Salt and Fat helped me a lot. The number one thing I learned is that you have a very small moment to in time to stop the urge from becoming overwhelming. The second you have the thought: I want a cookie, you MUST address it by following up with: "BUT I won't have one because it will make me want more, and I will feel horrible later. I would rather keep my weight down, and feel good..."

Kicking sugar can take up to 10 days before it becomes easier. I'm not going to lie. I was cranky and miserable. But now I'm back on track, feel great, and love that my clothes fit better. I've also stopped feeling constantly hungry. Yay!

Have a buddy to help you stay accountable. Shame and silence only makes it worse.

You can do it!

Sent from my SM-T280 using the BariatricPal App

[Cindi_Augustine 102]

I had the same issue with sugar and I want you to understand that it's NOT about willpower. Sugar has been proven to be as addictive as cocaine or tobacco. Don't feel like a failure if you're having trouble kicking it. I have just had to do a sugar cleanse in order to get control of my increasing sugar intake. You have to get it out of your system using behavioural and mental techniques. Reading David Kessler's book Sugar, Salt and Fat helped me a lot. The number one thing I learned is that you have a very small moment to in time to stop the urge from becoming overwhelming. The second you have the thought: I want a cookie, you MUST address it by following up with: "BUT I won't have one because it will make me want more, and I will feel horrible later. I would rather keep my weight down, and feel good..."

Kicking sugar can take up to 10 days before it becomes easier. I'm not going to lie. I was cranky and miserable. But now I'm back on track, feel great, and love that my clothes fit better. I've also stopped feeling constantly hungry. Yay!

Have a buddy to help you stay accountable. Shame and silence only makes it worse.

You can do it!

Sent from my SM-T280 using the BariatricPal App

Correction: Dr. K's book is called The End of Overeating. Sorry!

Sent from my SM-T280 using the BariatricPal App

[swizzle 120]

You're my hero for bravery and honesty! I feel these same exact feelings. I'm only 8 months out but have lost almost all the weight and now things are easier and have sorta leveled out, I feel myself pushing the boundaries a little and making the rules a little fuzzy around the edges

BUT I am a firm believer that we can always press the reset button. This surgery has taught me how to reboot my dumb brains, and there's no use in beating ourselves up, but rather we can just get hecka motivated and junk and change whatever it is that's bugging us! Yay!

Thanks for this post! <3

[swizzle 120]

PS: I think you look amazing and have done a great job, btw