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Emotional With Doubts



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I don't know where to start. I'm 12 days post op and I don't know if I made the right decision to have surgery. Could I have just buckled down and lost the weight on my own? Are the mood swings, irritation, and all worth it? I just feel kind of hopeless right now and all the people around me just seem to tell me "oh it's a process and it'll get better" but all I can think is...what have I done? Maybe it's too early to feel that way but I have always been a super upbeat and positive person, even though I'm overweight. I just don't want to have changed my favorite part of myself by trying to lose weight this way.

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Did you try to lose weight before? How did that work out for you?

Early on in the process is the usual time people freak out about wls, wondering if they did the right thing, if they made the right choices, if it's all worth it, etc. I went through it, you're going through it, most people I've spoken to went through it. The fact is, it IS a process and it IS going to get better. My advice would be to remember why you did this and went through all this effort and pain to begin with. What made you make this decision? There must have been very good, concrete reasons. Remember those.

When all is said and done, every person who hates the beginning and has these very same regrets is only thankful, grateful, and happy they did it by like a year out. It took you and I and everyone else here many, many years to become heavy and to become the people we are. A change this momentous is not going to happen overnight. It's going to suck a LOT before it gets better. Unfortunately, that's just the process.But in the end, when you're healthy and vibrant and living your life in a way that was not possible before surgery, you'll be singing a different tune. I look forward to that for you. I hope you get there soon. In the meantime, remember why you did this to begin with and take amazing care of yourself, and give it time. Good things are coming for you. They're already here, really, just disguised as pain and frustration and worry.

Edited by Cervidae

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I remember feeling that way early post op and it was definitely food triggered. I would get sad seeing my mom or husband eating normally while I am trying to force down some broth. I also had a lot of pain so I was really regretting my decision. It got better because that was just a stage, once I was able to eat "regular" food I felt a lot more normal. Once I started to be able to swallow without it hurting, I was happier. Once my clothes started falling off and people noticed the weight loss (lord knows I didn't see it lol), once I realized my back pain was disappearing, once I could stop all the medicine I was on... I knew I had made the right decision. Right now I am at goal and I haven't been considered a normal weight since probably early middle school and I couldn't be happier with my decision with weight loss. I also wonder if I could have done it on my own and I wonder where I would be in my journey if I just did diet and exercise. The answer is in the same place I was 18 months ago, because I can fantasize that dieting and exercise worked but realistically I would have given up about 2 months in because I would have had little to no progress and then gained back the weight I might have lost and then some. Good luck to you!

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Did you try to lose weight before? How did that work out for you?

Early on in the process is the usual time people freak out about wls, wondering if they did the right thing, if they made the right choices, if it's all worth it, etc. I went through it, you're going through it, most people I've spoken to went through it. The fact is, it IS a process and it IS going to get better. My advice would be to remember why you did this and went through all this effort and pain to begin with. What made you make this decision? There must have been very good, concrete reasons. Remember those.

When all is said and done, every person who hates the beginning and has these very same regrets is only thankful, grateful, and happy they did it by like a year out. It took you and I and everyone else here many, many years to become heavy and to become the people we are. A change this momentous is not going to happen overnight. It's going to suck a LOT before it gets better. Unfortunately, that's just the process.But in the end, when you're healthy and vibrant and living your life in a way that was not possible before surgery, you'll be singing a different tune. I look forward to that for you. I hope you get there soon. In the meantime, remember why you did this to begin with and take amazing care of yourself, and give it time. Good things are coming for you. They're already here, really, just disguised as pain and frustration and worry.

I thank you for this reply. It's exactly what I needed to read.

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I remember feeling that way early post op and it was definitely food triggered. I would get sad seeing my mom or husband eating normally while I am trying to force down some broth. I also had a lot of pain so I was really regretting my decision. It got better because that was just a stage, once I was able to eat "regular" food I felt a lot more normal. Once I started to be able to swallow without it hurting, I was happier. Once my clothes started falling off and people noticed the weight loss (lord knows I didn't see it lol), once I realized my back pain was disappearing, once I could stop all the medicine I was on... I knew I had made the right decision. Right now I am at goal and I haven't been considered a normal weight since probably early middle school and I couldn't be happier with my decision with weight loss. I also wonder if I could have done it on my own and I wonder where I would be in my journey if I just did diet and exercise. The answer is in the same place I was 18 months ago, because I can fantasize that dieting and exercise worked but realistically I would have given up about 2 months in because I would have had little to no progress and then gained back the weight I might have lost and then some. Good luck to you!

Thank you so much. I know you're right, it's just so hard to convince myself 100% that it will get better. My weight loss has always failed and I do remember why I did this. Maybe I will have a little shining light when I can have some applesauce and not just Protein shakes :)

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I'm 3 days post op- and I'm feeling the same way! Like- what have I done to my body? I'm in so much pain, and I haven't been able to drink broth or anything- just Water. The gas they use during surgery is unbearable! I also have a strange crease/indentation in my abdomen.

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Well, I can tell you that things have gotten better for me since I've moved to puréed foods. The gas pains were terrible for me too but I will say that walking will help that. Some of it will linger for a few days but I promise it's not forever. The pain will subside significantly soon. Between day 5 & 6, the pain decreased a great deal. It will be easier to remember your reasons and drive to do this surgery after you can eat/drink. I'm not 100% but I'm better. Take it in stride and you'll find that each day will get a bit better.

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I am so grateful for this forum. So glad I'm not alone!

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Did you try to lose weight before? How did that work out for you?

Early on in the process is the usual time people freak out about wls, wondering if they did the right thing, if they made the right choices, if it's all worth it, etc. I went through it, you're going through it, most people I've spoken to went through it. The fact is, it IS a process and it IS going to get better. My advice would be to remember why you did this and went through all this effort and pain to begin with. What made you make this decision? There must have been very good, concrete reasons. Remember those.

When all is said and done, every person who hates the beginning and has these very same regrets is only thankful, grateful, and happy they did it by like a year out. It took you and I and everyone else here many, many years to become heavy and to become the people we are. A change this momentous is not going to happen overnight. It's going to suck a LOT before it gets better. Unfortunately, that's just the process.But in the end, when you're healthy and vibrant and living your life in a way that was not possible before surgery, you'll be singing a different tune. I look forward to that for you. I hope you get there soon. In the meantime, remember why you did this to begin with and take amazing care of yourself, and give it time. Good things are coming for you. They're already here, really, just disguised as pain and frustration and worry.

Wow great!!! I love what you have to say and the way you said it. I'm inspired

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