It really is about what I want...

[Sparkles!! 77]

*Warning, long-winded ruminations here!!

I just had an interesting conversation with my very concerned mother.

She was the very first person to mention that maybe I should have WLS clear back when I was 19, and was nowhere near as heavy as I am now. I said no then, and while my misconceptions regarding surgery were my primary reason, I am nonetheless very glad I refused. I was not in a place emotionally, where I would have been able to handle it, or sustain the weight loss long term.

Now, at 35 years of age, I finally am in a place emotionally, as well as physically, where I feel like I can do it, and am ready to do it. Part of that involved really looking at my relationship with myself and the people around me. Part of that was realizing that my relationship with my mom had played a very real role in my weight issues - I'm not blaming her, only saying that it was a contributing factor.

When I first made the decision to go for surgery and told her, along with a few other loved ones, six months back of my decision, she was elated! Now, she feels that it might be a mistake. She thinks I've lost weight since I stopped drinking soda 3 months (I haven't, even though my clothes are fitting better), and sees my determination for letting go of this weight, and thinks that I can do it now with just diet and exercise. Part of it is that she is worried about my asmtha, and having surgery in Mexico, etc. She did say that she would support me no matter what, but that she feels I don't need to be cut open, and that I can do it on my own.

I thanked her for the compliment, and said that right now I still plan on going forward with the surgery, but that if, at any point, I felt that I should call a stop to the surgery, that I would do so.

When I got off the phone with her, I called one of my sisters to whine about my mother's change of heart. It wasn't a long conversation... She only asked how I responded to mom, so I told her, and her response was, "Well then that's your answer to the whole thing. It's all about what you want. And it sounds like this surgery is what you want."

Well, that put me in my place didn't it? Once I made the decision to go with surgery, I knew that not everyone would be on board. I also knew that this was what I needed to do, and that I would move forward regardless of what other people wanted. I guess it's only now really sinking in: It really is about what I want.

I'm a lucky woman to have the love and support of a remarkable family.

[kmorri 1,689]

I agree.....in fact if I were doing this for anyone other than myself I think something would be wrong with that...I am lucky as well and have the support of a wonderful family but my daughters for example are not thrilled about me having surgery, but they are supportive.

As far as others seeing the weight loss and/or determination now, and making them think "well it looks like you can do this on your own"......My answer to that is "no so much"....my determination right now is to make it through this process to have this surgery and be fully prepared for my future life.......I've had plenty of previous attempts at diet plans and know that sure I can loose a few pounds....even significant pounds BUT....no matter what I've done in the past I have not been able to maintain it......This new tool will help me with that. I have never been so determined to be successful!

Kathy

[jane13 2,256]

@ - its your life, your "tool" for WL and your journey....make sure you can say yes to all of that or you are NOT ready.

We are here~

I was lucky to have support from 99% of the people I told - my adult daughter (29) was the one against it that played a major role in my initial decision. She didn't like me doing anything permanent like the sleeve or bypass. I was on board for the band (for her) and got frustrated with doctors office and backed out Dec 2014.

Went one month, hit my HW 282, and said screw that and went with my original plan (sleeve) and I haven't looked back, NO REGRETS!

Well, one regret - that I DIDNT DO IT EARLIER ;P

[CallMeTee 77]

You're lucky, my family thinks I'm nuts My husband is uber supportive, and I have friends who are behind me, but my family thinks surgery is extreme and I should just diet and exercise. Pfft.

[Sparkles!! 77]

@ Pfft is right!