Not telling people about your surgery is a "half truth" or a "lie" steams me like a pile of fresh cow dung...

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I'm not sure when making the personal decision to not tell the world all of your personal business became a "half truth" or "lie by omission" but if that's the case, I have a few scenerios/questions for those of you who think that way.

By that logic:

If someone asks me how me and husband are the day after a huge fight (or a night of great sex), is it my duty to tell them all the details or is my standard answer of "Great!" or "Fine!" now a lie?

If someone asks me why I look tired, do I have to tell them that my husband snored and farted all night/was extremely frisky/kept getting up to pee and woke me up a gazillion times or am I lying?

I am just getting over a horrible tummy bug. When people ask me if I'm feeling better, should I go ahead and tell them that I am terribly afraid that I am going to poop in my pants at any minute because my stomach still feels off? If I don't, I am TOTALLY lying by omission.

Well meaning friends often ask how my kids are doing in school. Should I tell them that my oldest is in the top ten in her class, got into a top rated university, has received an a$$ load of scholarships but that her ex-boyfriend is being a real bast@rd and making her personal life a little miserable? I mean, that's the truth.

People often ask me my ethnicity because I am olive complected in the bible belt. I tell them Mexican and Italian, but I leave out the drop of German and Acatec Indian. Pin a big red L on my chest!

Must I tell people that I am on the rag/pissed at my kids/need a glass of wine/really have no desire to talk to them/in a hurry when they ask me how I am doing? Manners be damned! I don't want to be a liar.


Do I love your skirt? Why yes, I do! But now I have to tell you that it's beautiful but looks like **** on you because I don't want to omit any info.

Why am I smiling? I just crop dusted some nasty faced woman an aisle over. TRUTH!!


I could go on forever ...

Keeping my personal business PERSONAL doesn't make ME a liar just because you choose to share YOUR personal business.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

I couldn't agree more.

The only time I think people are lying is when they are doing things like selling weight loss products and claiming those products helped them, when they lost weight from surgery. I know of one person that did this.

Just because a ton of people in the current "society" we have are cool with oversharing, doesn't mean that everyone does.

Plus a lot of people that post here forever that people are from different age groups, cultures, and socioeconomic levels.

I was raised not to talk about money, I am for sure not going to talk about a surgery.

[Babbs 14,681]

I tell some people, I don't tell some people. I don't feel any less honest when I choose to not tell certain people. I owe nobody an explanation about my personal life.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

I don't really care what other people choose to tell or to not tell. I'm old enough to understand most people don't care about my personal choices!

I am sorry if people feel like they "can't" tell, but that is not the same thing.

I am pretty open about anything so I tell anyone who cares to know, but I also think that is my own choice/business.

I would add (and Lipstick Lady liked this before I added this part) That if someone thinks it is half truth that's also their business, and their opinion. I wouldn't waste 2 minutes trying to change their mind because in the end, I just don't think it matters that much. tell or not tell according to your own reasons.

Edited April 14, 2016 by Christinamo7

[Cervidae 2,389]

preach!

[M!@ 320]

I don't think I could have summed it up any better than you did! But I would be lying if I didn't say so. LOL This is hilarious.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

There's "not telling" and then there's actively lying. There is a very thin line between the two. It's very easy to cross that line.

Personally, I have no problems with telling anyone. I don't feel ashamed of myself. To date the only negativity I've encountered post-surgery is from an obese women who thought I made the wrong choice and claimed what I did was not the healthy way. Otherwise, nobody I have told about surgery gave me any problems. Pre-surgery, yes. My family was against it but their objections came from a place of ignorance while I had already did my homework and was educated.

I personally would like people to be honest with fellow obese people when asked. They are the ones who can benefit the most from such.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

To tell or not is one of the hottest, most self righteously debated topics on WLS boards. It often becomes a debate posturing those who don't tell any and all that they had WLS as an ethical failure.

I don't doubt that those who feel that way really do think it's a lie.

I think this is another one of the many examples I see on message boards of what meets X's needs or has been their experience must be the best or even only option all should choose.

Humans are so varied. I really don't get why X's ideology requires him or her to condemn me if I have a different belief system. There's too much of that in the world.

Hell, we're not even talking about Protein grams!

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Personally, I have no problems with telling anyone. I don't feel ashamed of myself.

I don't tell people because it's none of their business. I don't feel ashamed of myself.

I don't tell people when I am on the rag. Not ashamed of that.

I don't tell people when I acted like an ass and my husband acted like an ass and we fight. Nope. Not ashamed.

I don't tell people when I have gas/vomit/have a zit on my ass/need to spit out a loogie. No shame in that game.

Why the #$%^&* do people associate my right to privacy with SHAME??? JEEZUS.

[Babbs 14,681]

@@Proud2BMe

Nobody made me the ambassador to all obese folks. I have no obligation to tell them anything about my personal business. I'm sure each and every one of them knows someone who have had WLS. They are free to make their own opinions and decisions about it without me shouting from the rooftops that I had WLS.

Like I said before, I tell some people and I don't tell some people. If I tell someone I lost weight through Portion Control and excersise and not mention the surgery I'm not lying, right?

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

Personally, I have no problems with telling anyone. I don't feel ashamed of myself.

I don't tell people because it's none of their business. I don't feel ashamed of myself.

I don't tell people when I am on the rag. Not ashamed of that.

I don't tell people when I acted like an ass and my husband acted like an ass and we fight. Nope. Not ashamed.

I don't tell people when I have gas/vomit/have a zit on my ass/need to spit out a loogie. No shame in that game.

Why the #$%^&* do people associate my right to privacy with SHAME??? JEEZUS.

Calm down. I never made any such association.

[Proud2BMe 1,016]

@@Proud2BMe

Nobody made me the ambassador to all obese folks. I have no obligation to tell them anything about my personal business. I'm sure each and every one of them knows someone who have had WLS. They are free to make their own opinions and decisions about it without me shouting from the rooftops that I had WLS.

Like I said before, I tell some people and I don't tell some people. If I tell someone I lost weight through Portion Control and excersise and not mention the surgery I'm not lying, right?

I'm well aware of your opinion on this topic. I'm not interested in a flame war. We disagree. Just leave it at that.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Personally, I have no problems with telling anyone. I don't feel ashamed of myself.

I don't tell people because it's none of their business. I don't feel ashamed of myself.

I don't tell people when I am on the rag. Not ashamed of that.

I don't tell people when I acted like an ass and my husband acted like an ass and we fight. Nope. Not ashamed.

I don't tell people when I have gas/vomit/have a zit on my ass/need to spit out a loogie. No shame in that game.

Why the #$%^&* do people associate my right to privacy with SHAME??? JEEZUS.

Calm down. I never made any such association.

Calm down? Uh, Ok. :eyeroll:

[BarrySue 602]

I made the conscious decision to keep this a private matter. My health information is no one's business, and not one person is ENTITLED to my personal medical history.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I've said this before ... It's like the bumper sticker I saw on the back of a San Francisco taxi 40 years ago:

OPPOSED TO ABORTION? DON'T HAVE ONE.

In other words, you do you; I'll do me.