New Here! Just starting the process and scared as hell (but excited too)

[Phoenix40 66]

I had the surgery orientation and I meet with my surgeon on May 5th. I am excited and terrified. This will be such a huge change in my life and I have never had surgery before. But I am tired of being in pain and having limited mobility. I just want to be able to complete simple activities without breaking into a sweat, plop into a chair with ease instead of trying to predict if it is safe and being scared that it's going to disintegrate under me and wear cute dresses. I thank God for my mom and my friends. They have been very supportive and one of my friends are also going through the process. I can't believe by this time next year (barring any complications or problems) I will be 5 months out.

[SarahSleeve 170]

I had the surgery orientation and I meet with my surgeon on May 5th. I am excited and terrified. This will be such a huge change in my life and I have never had surgery before. But I am tired of being in pain and having limited mobility. I just want to be able to complete simple activities without breaking into a sweat, plop into a chair with ease instead of trying to predict if it is safe and being scared that it's going to disintegrate under me and wear cute dresses. I thank God for my mom and my friends. They have been very supportive and one of my friends are also going through the process. I can't believe by this time next year (barring any complications or problems) I will be 5 months out.

It is scary, but the general consensus seems to be that it's totally worth it. That's what I hold onto as I get started. My first info seminar is the beginning of May, and while I've been doing lots of research for the past 2 years, I'm still nervous. I've also never had any kind of invasive surgery, but if I keep myself at this weight for much longer I can only imagine the medical issues I'd be facing as I get older. I keep asking myself why I've spent the last 30 years of my 36 year life overweight (with a few thinner teen years when I basically starved myself), why I can't just "eat less and move more" like people say? Well, I can - but it never sticks past a few months before the weight comes right back.

I've come to terms with the fact that unless I get some real solid help via surgery, I'll be fighting the same yo-yo battle for the rest of my life. I've already spent my childhood, teen years, and young adulthood as an obese person. Now, the medical problems are slowly starting. Time to make a change for the better.

Just imagine how much healthier we will be by next Summer.

[Phoenix40 66]

I had the surgery orientation and I meet with my surgeon on May 5th. I am excited and terrified. This will be such a huge change in my life and I have never had surgery before. But I am tired of being in pain and having limited mobility. I just want to be able to complete simple activities without breaking into a sweat, plop into a chair with ease instead of trying to predict if it is safe and being scared that it's going to disintegrate under me and wear cute dresses. I thank God for my mom and my friends. They have been very supportive and one of my friends are also going through the process. I can't believe by this time next year (barring any complications or problems) I will be 5 months out.

It is scary, but the general consensus seems to be that it's totally worth it. That's what I hold onto as I get started. My first info seminar is the beginning of May, and while I've been doing lots of research for the past 2 years, I'm still nervous. I've also never had any kind of invasive surgery, but if I keep myself at this weight for much longer I can only imagine the medical issues I'd be facing as I get older. I keep asking myself why I've spent the last 30 years of my 36 year life overweight (with a few thinner teen years when I basically starved myself), why I can't just "eat less and move more" like people say? Well, I can - but it never sticks past a few months before the weight comes right back.

I've come to terms with the fact that unless I get some real solid help via surgery, I'll be fighting the same yo-yo battle for the rest of my life. I've already spent my childhood, teen years, and young adulthood as an obese person. Now, the medical problems are slowly starting. Time to make a change for the better.

Just imagine how much healthier we will be by next Summer.

Yes...for the first time since I was a teenager, I am looking forward to next Summer. I see shorts, tank tops and amusement parks in my future!

[MamaRhea 56]

^{So, quick update on my journey.}

^{Yesterday I had my chest xray, my upper GI, my bloodwork, and my appointment "0" with my nutritionist.}

^{The chest x-ray was pretty standard issue. No surprises and nothing interesting to report.}

^{The upper GI wasn't as bad as I feared. The fizzy drink kind of tasted like a really tart 7up. The actual barium itself was like drinking a slightly sweet (almost like pepto bismal) cross between tile grout and toothpaste (texture-wise). Not tasty by any means, but not gag worthy. They had me do barrel rolls like beached whale, so that was fun. *not*}

^{Next came the blood work. They drew ... pausing for dramatic effect...}

^{THIRTEEN VIALS.}

^{Not tiny little vials either. Big honkin' vials. I had been fasting all day (this was around 1pm) so by the time she taped the gauze to my arm I was about ready to pass out. It took me the rest of the day to recover and start feeling normal again.}

^{Then I went to see my nutritionist for the first time. She was a super sweet tiny little thing. We clicked immediately and spent most of our appointment laughing. I was really nervous to meet her, but now I am thrilled to get to work with her for the next few months.}

^{Then I met with my supervising MD. By that point my GI results had come in.}

^{Unfortunately, my upper GI uncovered an anomaly that they think may be an ulcer.}

^{This definitely throws a wrench in the spokes. They are having me set up an appointment with a gastro-enterologst. Apparently he usually books 1-2 months out. Once I meet with him, he will schedule me for an endoscopy (another 1-2 months out) to determine if there is in fact an ulcer. If there isn't, my surgery can go on as planned (if it isn't already delayed at that point). If there is an ulcer, I have to have it treated for several months before they will do the surgery. This could potentially push me into the next calendar year, which would mean I would have to pay my OOP max again.}

^{I feel like crying. Just a little.}

^{Ok, a lot.}

^{But, I have plans. I have already ordered some aloe juice and am going to be drinking it like it is going out of style. I don't honestly think I have an ulcer (I have NO symptoms), but on the off chance that I do, this aloe juice should clear it up before the endoscopy. Prilosec anyone?}

^{I am also going to ask my doctor for a Urea Breath Test. This will show whether the bacteria H. Pylori is living in my stomach. If there is no H. Pylori, there is no ulcer. Hopefully that would convince him to not make me do the endoscopy and could save me months of waiting (and lots of money too). Fingers crossed that he lets me do that instead.}

^{On a less depressing note, I finally have my nutrition binder! It goes over my eating habit goals between now and surgery (slow chewing, more Water, Protein first, etc). It also covers what my pre-op and post-op diets will look like, so that has been fun to look though.}

^{I also spent a shameful number of hours last night watching laparoscopic gastric sleeve procedures. It was FASCINATING. Truly. I had no idea that those kind of instruments existed. Very very cool. It was interesting though, after I had watched 4 or 5 operations that were almost completely bloodless with nice clean staple lines, I watched one with a shocking amount of blood and really messy/nasty staples. The surgeon doing the speak over didn't seem to think anything was out of the ordinary though, and he sounded like he thought the surgery went great. He was also being incredibly rough/erratic with the instruments. I imagine that poor girl woke up in a lot more pain than usual. Umm yikes. Based on my admittedly limited knowledge, it almost looked like he had either damaged the spleen somehow (super vascular), or else he didn't properly cauterize a major blood supply line. Either way it made me think. I am going to shoot an email over to my surgeon sometime this week asking if he has ever recorded one of his sleeve procedures. I would really love to see what his work looks like. Because if his is bloody and nasty and he's proud of it .... Adios.}

^{I also started following a girl on youtube called Clusie. She had gastric sleeve a few years ago and makes videos about her experience and what life is like after the sleeve. She is amazing and inspiring and incredibly honest an I really recommend checking out her channel if you have some time.}

^{On yet another note, I had a serious conversation with my husband the other night that left me feeling ... I don't know. Scared I guess. And ... just hollow. After looking into what the extra skin situation is, I was starting to feel really nervous about how much extra skin I am going to have. I'm young, so some of it will come back, but I would be a fool to expect to be anything less than a disaster on my belly and legs. So, I did the stupid thing and asked a question I didn't really want the answer to. I told him that I will almost certainly have a lot of extra skin. I asked if he thought he would still be able to find me attractive, or if the sight would just disgust him. To go through all this, and lose all this weight, just to be rejected for the skin would be psychologically and emotionally devastating on a level I can't even begin to describe, and I needed to know. Well, his answer stopped me cold. It was long winded, but what it amounted to was that if I have extra skin, and am not exercising as much as he would deem acceptable (still not sure what his expectations are with that) he would no longer find me attractive. On the other hand, he said that if I am exercising "enough" and still have extra skin (duh) that he would pay to get me plastic surgery.}

^{So what I hear from that, is no. He will not find me at all attractive with extra skin. Because even if I meet his expectation for exercise, he still is going to want me to go through another surgery. Or possibly several surgeries. I'm still processing this. And I looked at before and after pictures of tummy tucks last night, and YIKES. I mean, they don't have the extra skin any more, but most of them look just as bad, just in a different way. Totally unnatural looking. I don't know that I want to do that to myself. And who knows, maybe as they get further post-op it relaxes and looks more natural and less like a washboard. I hope so.}

^{Anyway. That was probably more information than you all needed. But with my parents thinking I am taking the easy way out, and my husband being ... whatever he's being, I don't really have anyone else to talk to.}

[Phoenix40 66]

^{So, quick update on my journey.}

^{Yesterday I had my chest xray, my upper GI, my bloodwork, and my appointment "0" with my nutritionist.}

^{The chest x-ray was pretty standard issue. No surprises and nothing interesting to report.}

^{The upper GI wasn't as bad as I feared. The fizzy drink kind of tasted like a really tart 7up. The actual barium itself was like drinking a slightly sweet (almost like pepto bismal) cross between tile grout and toothpaste (texture-wise). Not tasty by any means, but not gag worthy. They had me do barrel rolls like beached whale, so that was fun. *not*}

^{Next came the blood work. They drew ... pausing for dramatic effect...}

^{THIRTEEN VIALS.}

^{Not tiny little vials either. Big honkin' vials. I had been fasting all day (this was around 1pm) so by the time she taped the gauze to my arm I was about ready to pass out. It took me the rest of the day to recover and start feeling normal again.}

^{Then I went to see my nutritionist for the first time. She was a super sweet tiny little thing. We clicked immediately and spent most of our appointment laughing. I was really nervous to meet her, but now I am thrilled to get to work with her for the next few months.}

^{Then I met with my supervising MD. By that point my GI results had come in.}

^{Unfortunately, my upper GI uncovered an anomaly that they think may be an ulcer.}

^{This definitely throws a wrench in the spokes. They are having me set up an appointment with a gastro-enterologst. Apparently he usually books 1-2 months out. Once I meet with him, he will schedule me for an endoscopy (another 1-2 months out) to determine if there is in fact an ulcer. If there isn't, my surgery can go on as planned (if it isn't already delayed at that point). If there is an ulcer, I have to have it treated for several months before they will do the surgery. This could potentially push me into the next calendar year, which would mean I would have to pay my OOP max again.}

^{I feel like crying. Just a little.}

^{Ok, a lot.}

^{But, I have plans. I have already ordered some aloe juice and am going to be drinking it like it is going out of style. I don't honestly think I have an ulcer (I have NO symptoms), but on the off chance that I do, this aloe juice should clear it up before the endoscopy. Prilosec anyone?}

^{I am also going to ask my doctor for a Urea Breath Test. This will show whether the bacteria H. Pylori is living in my stomach. If there is no H. Pylori, there is no ulcer. Hopefully that would convince him to not make me do the endoscopy and could save me months of waiting (and lots of money too). Fingers crossed that he lets me do that instead.}

^{On a less depressing note, I finally have my nutrition binder! It goes over my eating habit goals between now and surgery (slow chewing, more Water, Protein first, etc). It also covers what my pre-op and post-op diets will look like, so that has been fun to look though.}

^{I also spent a shameful number of hours last night watching laparoscopic gastric sleeve procedures. It was FASCINATING. Truly. I had no idea that those kind of instruments existed. Very very cool. It was interesting though, after I had watched 4 or 5 operations that were almost completely bloodless with nice clean staple lines, I watched one with a shocking amount of blood and really messy/nasty staples. The surgeon doing the speak over didn't seem to think anything was out of the ordinary though, and he sounded like he thought the surgery went great. He was also being incredibly rough/erratic with the instruments. I imagine that poor girl woke up in a lot more pain than usual. Umm yikes. Based on my admittedly limited knowledge, it almost looked like he had either damaged the spleen somehow (super vascular), or else he didn't properly cauterize a major blood supply line. Either way it made me think. I am going to shoot an email over to my surgeon sometime this week asking if he has ever recorded one of his sleeve procedures. I would really love to see what his work looks like. Because if his is bloody and nasty and he's proud of it .... Adios.}

^{I also started following a girl on youtube called Clusie. She had gastric sleeve a few years ago and makes videos about her experience and what life is like after the sleeve. She is amazing and inspiring and incredibly honest an I really recommend checking out her channel if you have some time.}

^{On yet another note, I had a serious conversation with my husband the other night that left me feeling ... I don't know. Scared I guess. And ... just hollow. After looking into what the extra skin situation is, I was starting to feel really nervous about how much extra skin I am going to have. I'm young, so some of it will come back, but I would be a fool to expect to be anything less than a disaster on my belly and legs. So, I did the stupid thing and asked a question I didn't really want the answer to. I told him that I will almost certainly have a lot of extra skin. I asked if he thought he would still be able to find me attractive, or if the sight would just disgust him. To go through all this, and lose all this weight, just to be rejected for the skin would be psychologically and emotionally devastating on a level I can't even begin to describe, and I needed to know. Well, his answer stopped me cold. It was long winded, but what it amounted to was that if I have extra skin, and am not exercising as much as he would deem acceptable (still not sure what his expectations are with that) he would no longer find me attractive. On the other hand, he said that if I am exercising "enough" and still have extra skin (duh) that he would pay to get me plastic surgery.}

^{So what I hear from that, is no. He will not find me at all attractive with extra skin. Because even if I meet his expectation for exercise, he still is going to want me to go through another surgery. Or possibly several surgeries. I'm still processing this. And I looked at before and after pictures of tummy tucks last night, and YIKES. I mean, they don't have the extra skin any more, but most of them look just as bad, just in a different way. Totally unnatural looking. I don't know that I want to do that to myself. And who knows, maybe as they get further post-op it relaxes and looks more natural and less like a washboard. I hope so.}

^{Anyway. That was probably more information than you all needed. But with my parents thinking I am taking the easy way out, and my husband being ... whatever he's being, I don't really have anyone else to talk to.}

Wow...13 vials! That is a lot. I received my book on Wednesday and have enjoyed going through it. It has also been very eye opening about how bad my eating habits have become and how far I have gotten off track. I have a lot of work ahead of me but I am ready to face it.

I am sorry to hear about what you're husband said. That's rough to hear. The only advice I could tell you is hang in there. You embarked on this journey for a reason, to get healthy. Remember that as you go forward. At some future point, the skin can be removed. I have seen some really good pictures of tummy tucks and panniculectomy(sp?) and they looked stunning. You may want to also join a Gastric support group on Facebook so that you have as many avenues of support as possible. I am part of two on FB and they are awesome...tons of support and advice about relationships and the life before and after surgery.

[~Pam~64~ 15]

Hi! I am in the beginning stages of this process as well - but I have to do the 6 months of monitored weight loss so I will be having surgery in the fall. For years I was adamant that I would never have WLS, but multiple failures at dieting and the wear and tear on my 50ish year old body is becoming too much to ignore. If I don't lose this weight, I am looking at two knee replacements and probably a hip replacement down the road. I decided that WLS was a better choice with the hope that I can avoid having replacement surgery altogether.

Robin

I'm 51 and on 2nd month of 6 month diet. Just had 1 knee replacement.

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