Tired of discussing my weight with people

[24601 210]

Anyone else tired of people discussing your weight loss IRL? Like it is all anyone wants to talk about? It was fun at first, but now, I find myself avoiding certain social situations, because it will come up over and over. I never talk about the surgery, btw. Just want to commiserate with others. :-)

[lifeofblair 308]

People commenting on mine has slowed down. It's mainly the people who I don't see regularly that still comment. It's bothersome depending on how they word it. If I get one more "if you lost anymore you're going to blow away!" I might go crazy.

[CHM 1,009]

I had lost a lot of weight pre-op, so I was already plenty tired of all of the attention before I even got around to surgery. It was fun for the first 40 lbs or so, then I slowly became more self-conscious about it. Compliments now get an awkward smile and a timid thank you, and any requests for numbers (pounds lost, current size, etc) are met with "I'm sorry, I'm no longer sharing that." Thankfully, the attention has started to die down now that I've stopped feeding it.

[southernbelle256 101]

Right there with you. I've started to politely ignore it or thank them and change the subject. Those people don't typically bring it up again after that.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

Is it odd that were never really comfortable with attention?

When we're fat, we're always removing or restricting ourselves from social situations for reasons which, either directly or indirectly, involve some level of discomfort based on people's reactions t'ward, and interactions with, us...

During the losing process, we remove or restrict ourselves from social situations for reasons which, either directly or indirectly, involve some kind of discomfort based on people's reactions t'ward, and interactions with, us...

Upon completion if the process**, it seems that to some degree, we continue to remove or restrict ourselves from social.... well, you get where In going with that...

So...

What's the answer?

Surely we didn't do all this work just to end up healthier, lighter and fitter, but still hermitting ourselves away?

It seems like a whole lot of trouble to go to in order to remain as f**kd up as we ever were, but to live longer!!

What about therapy? Well it help?

Support groups?

Maybe develop a brand new arse-kicking personality...

I only ask these questions because I'm genuinely curious...

You see, in 13 months out, 70ish% of my way to 'goal' and am not having any issues that are even remotely similar...

Yes, the pre-op issues are pretty generic and stock standard...

But from there on, my experiences, or my reaction to them, is completely diffetent...

I've made it quite clear to anyone and everyone exactly where I'm at, how I'm doing, what's great, what sux...

The whole lot...

Only if they ask of course...

I don't care how many people ask me how much I've lost or joke about my lunch or ask what I'm drinking (F****NG SHAKES) .

I don't care that people stare at me now...

I don't care that the talk about me behind my back..

I just don't care..

Why??

Because I'm doing a f***ing fantastic job of saving my own life!!!

I was a pretty damn good human being before I started losing weight...

Now, at 230+ pounds down, I'm an even better person than I was before...

And you know what???

I'M NOT DONE YET!!!!

So I say ask me your inane, repetitive questions...

Stare at the (still) fat dude sweating and grunting as he lifts weights at the gym...

Deride the tiny plate of fish that he's having for lunch...

Because ultimately, your opinion matters not a pinch..

Why?

Because I am me...

And not only do I like me - I am proud of me!!!

Sincere apologies if I've gone off track, missed the point of the thread or make no sense at all...

This all just came out and I couldn't stop it...

**This part is an assumption based on hearsay and anecdotal evidence..

I am not yet at this part of the process...

[foodfighter78 258]

I'm exhausted, specialty because I'm little underweight and that's all we talk about. I'm so tired of it. I start telling people I'm feeling better, I'm eating a lot! ( unfortunately I still can't eat much) with some proper I feel like they are sincere, with others I think they are just jealous. I can't eat out with friends anymore because they will watch what I eat and talk about my weight loss etc. can we talk about something else? At church everyone ask me about my weight, my family and friends all ask everyday if I eat. That's it! I'm tired to talk about. Even if I try to explain they said: well eat ice cream. No matter I explain to them I suffer from Dumping syndrome. I give up!

[OzRoo 1,492]

Gosh, some people love to judge, offer unwanted advice, trombone their own opinions .....

To hell with them.

Opinions are Not facts, and I usually stay clear from super judgemental people as they really annoy me.

"Thank you", "Thanks for sharing", "I do not wish to discuss it", even "so you think you are God?" are some of my answers.

I mainly copped few judgements (not from friends or family) when I had a rapid weight gain due to my thyroid disease.

Such as " OMG, you need to get back to your size, need to go to Gym, need to diet" etc ....

Consequently, I do not see these people anymore.

Now, I look forward to get back to health and slimmer me.

Frankly, this is my business, and if anyone would keep on annoying me, I'd quickly nip it in the bud.

"What you think of me is None of My business", is a title of a book.

I've even said it to some people, and watched their brains doing cartwheels, trying to process it .....

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

Some people might be curious about the procedure and many others may use your WLS as a way to create conversations with you.

Just let them know that you don't want to discuss it if it bothers you or quickly change the subject.

[southernbelle256 101]

Fortunately, I don't have the judgey people saying things to my face. It's more of that I'm just tired of talking about my weight loss with everyone. I'm more than my weight loss. I have more to talk about than losing and my new body. Remember all that stuff you wanted to talk about when you weren't telling me how fat I was? Yea, let's talk about those things.

It's also a reminder to me how large I really was and I don't like it.

[FocusOnMeNow 599]

I agree with @@KindaFamiliar in that when people ask how much weight I lost I tell them, when they ask how I did it I tell them, and I don't have anything to hide. Hiding and stuffing my feelings is what got me fat in the first place. To each his own but please re-read his post and think about that. I own my $hit and if someone doesn't like that then they can go f themselves. Because it was THE BEST THING I EVER DID. That being said if all your friends want to talk about is your weight loss, then maybe it's time to get new friends. My ex husband just moved in with my best friend two doors down from me. Needless to say I will be moving soon and making new friends way sooner;-)

[auntiem0502 17]

Yes!! With certain people who repeatedly ask "what are you eating", wanting to follow what I do to lose naturally. I'm missing 85% of my stomach, of course I eat a lot less. It's exhausting to discuss meal plans when I'm usually switching it up for my own stability. I do have a friend having a sleeve in August so I'll definitely help and suggest things to her. I'm a little over a year out. I have no regrets of doing the surgery, it is work, but I'm healthy, and would like to talk about a lot of other topics. [emoji5]

[24601 210]

Fortunately, I don't have the judgey people saying things to my face. It's more of that I'm just tired of talking about my weight loss with everyone. I'm more than my weight loss. I have more to talk about than losing and my new body. Remember all that stuff you wanted to talk about when you weren't telling me how fat I was? Yea, let's talk about those things.

It's also a reminder to me how large I really was and I don't like it.

This^^!! This is exactly what I mean. People aren't judgmental or rude to me. I am not ashamed or shy or a hermit or any of that stuff. I just don't want to focus on my weight anymore.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

My ex husband just moved in with my best friend two doors down from me. Needless to say I will be moving soon and making new friends way sooner;-)

Whoa! That's got to be worth a new thread!

[FocusOnMeNow 599]

@@VSGAnn2014 I did not mean to get off topic. I just meant to consider other changes in your life (besides weight loss surgery). It could be that your friends are really proud of you and trying to be supportive (quite likely), in which case you have a lot more work to do on being comfortable and accepting of yourself and your accomplishments (including weight loss) and comfortable in your own skin. OR it could be that they just aren't really your friends after all (that was obviously the case with that particular "friend" of mine). Either way it does not hurt to meet new people and make new friends.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@FocusOnMeNow ...

Gotcha. And I sure didn't offer my comment about a new thread as a criticism! Was just observing that that was a very interesting development -- and would be with anyone's ex.