How to Change your Mind....

[treblecutie23 318]

I'm 5 months post op VSG and down a total of 145lbs since starting my journey. I hit my daily Protein goals (80-100gs), always get my 8+ glasses of Water and work out just about every day. I'm rubbing a half marathon next weekend and went shopping today for new running compression pants that actually fit and I'm wearing a medium! I've never been this small in my life, I was wearing men's 2xl tshirts in middle school.

I cannot help but struggle mentally. I'm a super positive peppy person in ever other aspect of my life. Despite doing everything right, losing successfully, kicking ass! I can't wrap my head or mind around the positives and this new healthy me. I still see and feel like the same 340lb girl. I'm trying to change my mind and see the positives and how far I've come....but I can't seem to look past what I still see as flaws. It scares me that even once I can get the skin removed I'll still hate my physical self. It's like being body-bipolar. The goal was always to be healthy. And I am. But I want to feel and believe it.

How did y'all overcome and/or deal with the mental aspect of all the changes?

[KristenLe 5,979]

Congrats on a fantastic weight loss! 5 months is a short time to lose that much weight and your brain needs to catch up to your body. There must be others experiencing this problem but I would also encourage you to talk to a behavior health counselor. Take pictures and keep a journal of your progress! You should be incredibly proud of yourself and your new life!

Sent from my XT1254 using the BariatricPal App

[Valentina 2,642]

I took me four years--first finding a therapist that "clicked" with me, and then working with her every week until now I am at least "at peace" with myself.

Finding that one "special" therapist I believe is the magic. Keep searching until you find him/her.

I wish you well. As you have learned--your body is only half of what needed "fix'n". Your mind is the other half. Treat it with as much love and care and determination that you did with your body. Only then will your WLS journey have the true happy ending that you deserve. Yes, YOU!!!!

Prayers going up for you, my sister.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@treblecutie23, if it helps, you're not alone.

A book that might help is "The Weight Loss Surgery Coping Companion: A Practical Guide for Coping with Post-Surgery Emotions" by Tanie Miller Kabala, PhD. I just learned that a second edition is available. Dr. Kabala is a psychologist who works with people who are where you are and at other stages of weight-loss and body image concerns, etc. She also does pre-surgery evaluations.

The book is slim (not quite 100 pages) which, I think, is probably friendliest for someone at a particularly rough point and not wanting ponderous reading. It's something of a workbook with space to write out the exercises, et al. For that reason, it's probably sensible to use a notebook, keeping the book itself pristine for revisiting as emotions change.

The chapters include coping with loneliness, anger, anxiety, depression and more.

You might also consider working with a therapist, probably a CBT practitioner.

[treblecutie23 318]

Yea I know that would probably be a good idea and I'll def check that book out! My life's turned upside down the past couple of years. Went through a divorce prior to starting my weight loss journey. Definitely was good motivation to take care of myself after he decided he preferred skinny blondes....

I feel like I'm happy now and I never really was while married. I just struggle with self confidence and self image and it's just been multiplied now that I'm actually getting compliments and attention. I clearly don't take compliments well. Something I'm trying to work on but doubt it'll get better until I get to where I believe it myself. That's the struggle!

Trying to respond with a "thank you" instead of a "you're drunk/blind/crazy".

[cbrr 70]

I can so relate to your post. As I was weighing myself yesterday, I was thinking about the feeling I had of "waiting for the other shoe to drop"..... that this weight loss couldn't be real and that the scale was going to start heading up-words again. Like it always has in the past! I think we all have that mindset/fear that this weight loss couldn't really be permanent and within our control. So, we hold on to our negative thoughts just in case it isn't. That's what we are used to and most familiar with. They have kept us company for YEARS!

A book that I have found very helpful is by one of the old-school cognitive therapists, David Burns. It's the "Feeling Good Handbook" and has a tool called "mood logs" to help you overcome these negative, basically untrue thoughts. It helps me realize that these are just thoughts that I am telling myself and not reality. I will also, at times, write down positive, true statements ( it's important that they are true and based on what's real for me) on an index card to carry with me in my pocket until I start to absorb them. I will pull the card out many times a day, read it and keep those positive thoughts in my mind.

I hope this is of some help. It's been a life saver for me and brings me such peace to know I am in charge of my thoughts.

You are doing GREAT!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

Trying to respond with a "thank you" instead of a "you're drunk/blind/crazy".

Yup, you're dealing with a lot now. Definitely some therapy, methinks, for a while and then, if you choose, continuing. With all the emotional adjustments that you're making and want to make, you'll do well to have someone to work with.

The simple "Thank you" is a good goal. Do it by rote until you really mean it. It never feels good about ourselves to insult or negate the person who is being positive toward us. The other thing that occurs to me is that the friend or associate isn't my shrink.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

You lost your weight really quickly. Your mind has not had a chance to catch up with the fact that you are not fat anymore.

Just be nice to yourself. I'm sure you need new clothes. Have fun trying on all sorts of stuff in your size in a bunch of stores. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve to have a healthy body and you've worked hard to get it.

Stay away from negative people.Anyone that brings you down, needs to slowly be removed from your life.

it does help to have affirmations up in your house or to carry in your purse. Put whatever you want on them. "I am a kind and loving person and I deserve to be happy"

[Happyfrog4u 13]

When you look in the mirror SAY hi to the NEW YOU and keep encouraging yourself to continue on the successful path you have chosen. It does take time for our brains to catch up with our bodies. You have to remember that your weight gain came over a long period of time and now you are losing it rather rapidly and getting our minds to wrap around that is a challenge. Just like you made the choice to take control of your life and live a better quality, you too can work on changing your mental state. I use positive affirmations to encourage myself. I use post it notes and put them where I will see them; the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator door, near where I sit. Right now I am struggling with drinking my Water. I use to drink close to a gallon of Water a day and now I am lucky I get in a couple glasses. SO on in my kitchen by the sink faucet I put a note "DID YOU DRINK YOUR WATER TODAY??"

You and I can do this and enjoy the NEW US. It is a NEW YEAR and I wish you the best of success! SMILE and keep positive!!