female only Feeling like a fraud in the "misses" clothes section

[Josey Quinn 187]

I've had some medical issues over the past two months (not surgery/sleeve complications), so I've been preoccupied and not paying close attention to my weight loss. I realized a few days ago that my clothes are falling off. I decided to get a few things at Target, which led to today's NSV: I bought my first non-plus size shirts and dresses!

My shopping experience was surreal. I started in Target's extremely inadequate plus-size department, but then I decided to try on the largest misses size (XXL). I started with a striped maxi dress. I couldn't believe it when it actually went over my body. I really couldn't believe it when I didn't want to break the mirror. Sure, I'm still "fluffy," but for the first time in years, I felt like my curves were attractive. This is a EPIC accomplishment for me.

Outside of the dressing room, I felt like a fraud, though. I'd already confirmed for myself that I could fit into misses XXL, but I felt like people were judging me for straying outside the plus-size section. I actually felt paranoid that someone was going to walk up to me and suggest I stop looking in the misses section. For years, shopping for clothes has been demoralizing and painful for me. I guess it's going to take some time to get over that history. It seems silly to get so emotional over shopping, but I couldn't help my feelings.

How do you feel as you shop for smaller clothes?

[Daisee68 2,493]

Oh my gosh, this exact same thing happened to me! I bought an XXL sweater in Target a few months ago and just couldn't believe it was actually a little big! Mostly I kept thinking, someone is going to ask me if they can help me find a Christmas gift for someone. They didn't of course but still felt like it!

So happy for you! (I tried to post a response to your status but my computer wasn't cooperating for some reason!)

I have also gone to New York & Company recently (mostly because I also knew they had plus sizes if I needed it) and ended up with XL shirts and MAYBE could have gotten away with an L but really could not wrap my brain around that actually being a reality so I didn't even try it on. I really don't have a great grasp on what size I really am now. At the suggestion of my therapist, I pulled out the only item of clothing I saved from my largest day - a pair of jeans. I put them on and holy cow.... talk about a reality check. I don't know which I cannot fathom more - that I am actually this size now or that I actually was that size then! If you kept anything, give it a shot. It is very interesting...

[daniotra 298]

Congratulations! You *earned* your right to shop there with all your hard work.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Josey Quinn 187]

At the suggestion of my therapist, I pulled out the only item of clothing I saved from my largest day - a pair of jeans. I put them on and holy cow.... talk about a reality check. I don't know which I cannot fathom more - that I am actually this size now or that I actually was that size then! If you kept anything, give it a shot. It is very interesting...

When I got home, I tried on some pants I had in the closet. I remember buying them eight or nine years ago without trying them on, and they were too small at the time. They've been hanging in my closet ever since. Now, they fit with room to spare!

[GibbsGirl 483]

I still feel that way!!! I want to head to the plus size section every time.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Shopping for clothes in small sizes these days is still mind-boggling for me.

Just freaky!

Even after nearly a year at and below my weight goal.

Enjoy the hell out of it.

[cdsjjotn 516]

I am in love with shopping now. I haven't been in a size 14 for over 27 years so yeah I'm super excited to put clothes on now.. I do however still tend to glance over the larger sizes but then say to myself " these are too big on me now" . I guess it is just one of many exciting adjustments we will be making

[sharkgirl 251]

I was just thinking about this yesterday. I ordered a dress online in a L and was nervous it was going to fit. It arrived in the TINIEST box (WTH Nordstorm) and when I pulled it out I kept thinking that it was so small and no way was it going to fit. It does and looks fantastic (once I Iron it) but I am still in awe at what fits me now.

Enjoy the new discovery, I personally think this is the fun part especially since we went through so much to get here.

[reree6898 1,164]

Yep, I have bought a few things from the jr section and was in shock and awe the first time I got something there and knew it fit. I have not been this size really since around middle school. I too felt like I was waiting for someone to tell me I was in the wrong section since I had been a size 24/26 for the last 20 years or so.

Edited April 8, 2016 by reree6898

[Djmohr 6,965]

Trying on clothes is my favorite thing to do. There have been several times now where I go into a dressing room armed with a couple items. Then low and behold someone has left items in the dressing room that they didn't want.

I find myself trying them all on just because I can! It's like a new challenge for me. The last few times I went shopping my hubby came with me. I disappeared into the dressing room for 30 minutes. I come out and he's laughing because he knows exactly what I am up to. Trying on clothes.

Sometime in the next few weeks I have to go shopping for summer clothing. I really own 1 pair of jeans, a few pair of yoga pants and 4 tops that are starting to get pretty raggedy.

I hit my goal a few weeks ago but am hoping to stabilize before investing in another whole new wardrobe. I have done that 4 times since this all began. I am hoping I am ready for my end game wardrobe.

[gowalking 10,790]

Some hints from one who has been down this road...

Don't overbuy. You will be so amazed that you fit in smaller sizes that you will be tempted to buy one in every color. You can't imagine how much stuff I bought, wore once or twice, and chucked into the Goodwill pile.

Next...don't try to figure sizing. I wear anything from a 4 to a 12. Depends on the fabric, style, manufacturer, etc. Also...until you figure out what looks good on you, you'll buy some clunkers. I came home with stuff even now I can't fathom why. Awful...just awful.

Lastly...being three years banded...and two of them being in regular sized clothes, you will start over time, to realize that you do fit in a small pair of slacks or a slim cut dress. You will stop feeling like a fraud and will leave the plus-size department in your dust.

Just give it some time. Oh..and congrats. Being able to shop and have fun instead of dreading it, is a wonderful thing.

[needtorecover 574]

Congratulations!! What a great feeling I'm looking forward to graduating to regular sizes one day.

I have learned that I've bumped down a size, from 3X/24 to 2X/22. Still very much plus-sized but less plus-sized than before, so I'll take it!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Some hints from one who has been down this road...

Don't overbuy. You will be so amazed that you fit in smaller sizes that you will be tempted to buy one in every color. You can't imagine how much stuff I bought, wore once or twice, and chucked into the Goodwill pile.

Next...don't try to figure sizing. I wear anything from a 4 to a 12. Depends on the fabric, style, manufacturer, etc. Also...until you figure out what looks good on you, you'll buy some clunkers. I came home with stuff even now I can't fathom why. Awful...just awful.

Lastly...being three years banded...and two of them being in regular sized clothes, you will start over time, to realize that you do fit in a small pair of slacks or a slim cut dress. You will stop feeling like a fraud and will leave the plus-size department in your dust.

Just give it some time. Oh..and congrats. Being able to shop and have fun instead of dreading it, is a wonderful thing.

Everything @@gowalking said!

[SweetPotato 142]

Totally feel that... as someone who was a 26, sometimes 28 and just bought some 18s ... its hard to wrap your head around things. I've lost 120 lbs but was still trying to wear my old clothes. I just gave away all of my torrid 3, 4 and 5s. I am now wearing 2s and sometimes 1s. Ive bought a few xxl and 1 xl at Target. It's crazy.

I don't want to buy all of the clothes, but part of the problem is that I'm in a profession where part of my efficacy is placed on my appearance. Clients don't want therapists in hugely oversized clothes and who look sloppy. Part of the issue is that I can better fit into the fashions that i like, as well. i try to buy new items a little snugger than i prefer to extend their life(although i've always liked snugger clothes). I've developed a process by which i let my sister tell me when things are too big to carry off and then I add it to the donation bag, friends bag, or post it on eBay (especially if its only been worn once or i haven't had a chance to wear it yet).

[AvaFern 3,516]

That is a wonderful NSV, congrats! I think most of us feel this way. There are still times where I walk into Express or banana Republic and I am surprised when the sales girl hands me a small, or even better an extra small. I literally want to hug her everytime, lol. You will eventually begin to feel less fraud-like and more fabulous!