Surgery woes: Grandpa begged me not to have the surgery

[crazygoose 190]

This is supposed to be an exciting time of my life, I just got my own place Friday and I'm still in the process of moving in and then my gastric sleeve gastrectomy is set for tomorrow and so I'm under a lot of stress as it is. I was confident about the surgery yesterday and was still confident today until my grandpa called me this morning and told me that his friend had died from having weight loss surgery and that I should listen to him and not get it or at least postpone it.

Now his friend already had the surgery a while back and lost a lot of weight but he died two days ago. My grandpa claims it's from the weight loss surgery but I'm not sure he knows that for sure. I mean the guy could've had preexisting medical problems, he was in his early 50's as far as I'm concerned he could've died from anything. Am I scared? No. Do I know there's a possibility that I could die? Yes. Am I afraid of dying? No. I talked to a nurse who had a gastric bypass and she reassured me that my surgeon has yet to lose a patient. So I still want the surgery but now it's like I have no joy about it anymore, just opposition from my family and stress. My grandpa also said that if I get sick or need to go to the hospital or anything not to call him for help. I just don't get it.

Then my mom keeps playing games with me. I asked her weeks ago if she would take me to get the surgery and she said she would and to just remind her and keep reminding her so that I don't just spring it up on her at the very last minute and to constantly remind her all the way up until the surgery. Well I've been doing that and then she gets mad and says that I keep asking her the same questions too much. She has started playing games saying she's not going to take me after all. I know she isn't just saying that, she has flaked out on me before. So now it looks like I'm taking the bus tomorrow. I don't know how I will get home but I'll worry about it when it's time to leave the hospital. I'm just so sad that complete strangers like everyone here at bariatricpal, the guy at the grocery store, even the guy at GNC have been so supportive and helpful but I just can't get that from my family.

Edited April 6, 2016 by crazygoose

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am so sorry your family is unsupportive and unhelpful. It may be their misguided way of dealing with their own fears and uncertainties.

As long as you are confident in your surgeon and your decision you can have faith that the chances are pretty good that everything will be alright.

Best of luck with your surgery and keep us posted on how you are doing.

[Christinamo7 4,042]

a couple of weeks before my surgery a coworker's cousin died after having bypass. They didn't advise me not to have my surgery, but I could tell everyone knew about it and they were anxious. I just promised them I wouldn't die. Afterall, if I had, they couldn't really be mad at me then and as it turns out everything was fine.

I am sorry you had this happen - but only you can make this choice.

[Seagull 140]

Nah don't worry

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[babbit 24]

Where do you live? Maybe someone from here could take you home. Do you have taxis where you are? Might be worth the money. Good luck!

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[Sharon1964 2,530]

Her surgeon practices in San Jose. If you were closer, I would take you. I'm a few hours away, and have some things tomorrow that I can't reschedule.

[mistycal 81]

Do you have friends coming to see you? My sister was suppose to take me home but had to work, so when my friend came to visit I politely told her she was giving me a ride home!!!!

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@crazygoose - I am so sorry you are going through this. I wish I was there to take you. It breaks my heart to see how many people have to go through this surgery alone! I have said this before, but I want to start a non-profit company that just does this - takes people to surgeries that don't have rides. I am sure there is someone out there that does it, but it really stinks that your mom would do this at the last minute. I wish I had something brilliant to say to make you feel better but I got nothing other than to say, best of luck to you! I know you will do great! With all this adversity you have survived, this surgery should be a walk in the park! Check back in with us when you can and let us know how you did!! See you on the loser's bench!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

@@crazygoose, darling, from what you say about your grandfather and your mother, I think you're better off not having them take you or escort you back home. They'd only make you miserable when all you'll want is some quiet and maybe a nap.

When you arrive at the hospital, you'll be busy with personnel preparing you for surgery and taking your basic info for the surgeon's records and the hospital's records, etc. You wouldn't even have much time to talk with whomever may take you there. It's more having someone to escort you off the premises that's the issue. As far as I know, every facility insists that patients be escorted out. This doesn't even mean all the way home, only as far as outside the building door and that's only to cover themselves with regard to requirements of their insurance policies. If you have an overnight stay, you'll have some time to enlist a friend or co-worker.

Is it your plan to return to your new apartment? Had you arranged with anyone stop in to give you a hand for a few days or so?

[catwoman7 11,179]

dying from bariatric surgery is extremely rare nowadays. The mortality rate is something like 0.3%. It's one of the safest surgeries out there - safer than a hip replacement, even, and they do hip replacements every day. I wouldn't worry about that part *at all*.

I'm sorry you're going through this with your family, though. This is one of those times when you need all their support.

[Gaylene Davison 43]

Gee whizz. I have such incredible support from friends and family that I find it amazing that people can't see beyond themselves and help others.

I'm glad you feel ok about the safety of the surgery. You have a lot happening and stress is understandable. It will get better so stay strong and focused on you xx

[QuilterGal 216]

You are more likely to die of obesity and its effects than of surgery. Good luck today. If it helps, my recovery was relatively pain-free. I definitely could have managed on my own. Please let us know how everything goes.

[crazygoose 190]

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It really means a lot to me. Tomorrow the plan is to wake up at 4:30am and call my mom at 5am and see if she will follow through. If not I will catch the 5:30 bus and I should be at the hospital before 7 and check in is at 7:30am. I should've been asleep by now but I have been very busy tonight getting ready for tomorrow. Anyways I'm going to bed now. Goodnight everyone and see you on the losers bench!

[LaDivaDev 129]

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It really means a lot to me. Tomorrow the plan is to wake up at 4:30am and call my mom at 5am and see if she will follow through. If not I will catch the 5:30 bus and I should be at the hospital before 7 and check in is at 7:30am. I should've been asleep by now but I have been very busy tonight getting ready for tomorrow. Anyways I'm going to bed now. Goodnight everyone and see you on the losers bench!

Best wishes to you on your surgery. This is a journey, even for your family. They will have to come around in due time! Blessings to you!!! [emoji173]️

[James Marusek 5,244]

Good luck on your surgery. I will pray that all goes successful. Check back with us when you are on the other side.