Honestly why r men A****? 5days post op

[JimBivens 26]

I'm a guy and here's my take. He's doing that on purpose. He's afraid of change, especially you changing and your self confidence growing. He's passively aggressively trying to sabotage your success. He wouldn't be doing that unless he's an ass, and you would know before now whether he is or not, or scared of losing you. If he's an ass, press on and good luck! If he's a good guy, reassure him that this change will be a good thing, it will make everything you two have better!

[choicemun 111]

Its the Y chromosome.....

It carries some gentic defects. That is why the gender of the human species with two x chromosomes don't light farts on fire and laugh.

@@4MRB4PHOTO this made me laugh so hard lol.. Thank you makes so much sense now. Made my day!!

[kondasa 28]

I know initially my husband was having a hard time adjusting to me eating different things then the family. So when I was on a liquid diet I would prep an entire dinner for him and the kids and he would feel awkward and hated it. So he started to just get himself something either from fast food or frozen pizza so I didn't have to cook a big meal like I used to do. I eventually said to him that I thought his eating was getting worse because I wasn't cooking healthy meals anymore.

I am still on soft foods so I make my own meals still and when I started that phase I asked him if he would go on weight watchers while I did this. One reason being that no one but him knows I had the surgery and if we lost weight together it would be an easier sell to friends and family. He agreed and we both have been tracking our food via My Fitness Pal together--we just eat different things.

[miss_smiles 192]

It's not men in my situation it's everyone really- from family to friends. On day 3 post op my family offered me mashed potatoes and shrimp knowing I was on a liquid diet for 14 days. My roommate ordered food and had me answer the door cause she was out and it was my favorite restaurant I used to order from all the time. Then she bakes a brownie with Oreos and ice cream and snap chats pictures of it to me. I just think people are really clueless as to how hard this really is. Maybe they don't do it maliciously but it's really fricken annoying, if it's bothering you that much I would really try to explain what your going through and ask him to be more considerate. I haven't ticked off yet but I probably will soon enough if they don't stop.

Edited April 4, 2016 by giggles715

[choicemun 111]

I'm a guy and here's my take. He's doing that on purpose. He's afraid of change, especially you changing and your self confidence growing. He's passively aggressively trying to sabotage your success. He wouldn't be doing that unless he's an ass, and you would know before now whether he is or not, or scared of losing you. If he's an ass, press on and good luck! If he's a good guy, reassure him that this change will be a good thing, it will make everything you two have better!

I really hope that is not the case and I don't think it is. We had a conversation before how I was going to change and that should only make our relationship better not worse, and I think we are on the same page about it. Over all he is a good guy, told him today to cut out eating in front of me what he does behind closed doors is his business. He apologize and said he didn't mean anything by it so we are good.

Thank you for your advice and taking the time to reply.

[anitavee 57]

My husband used to do that but I talked to him and he decided to go through the low carb journey with me pre-op just to be supportive. He's that fast metabolism and very fit kinda guy who is the perfect weight and can eat anything. It helps that he is my best friend but sometimes you just have to talk about it. Good luck!

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Edited April 4, 2016 by anitavee

[daniotra 298]

My husband has been pretty awesome with support so far. I'm still in the early stages of pre-op. However, I just got back from a week long business trip (where I absolutely failed to stick to my plan....at least I found some areas to work on!). Hubby has fallen off the wagon while I was gone too. The day after I got back I was doing really well sticking to plan, but I had this mad craving for Popeye's chicken. I didn't mention it to my husband at all. I must have been sending off craving waves or something, because he came back that evening with his dinner...Popeye's! It was just funny yesterday, but I would have been majorly angry if it was right after surgery.

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[anitavee 57]

Try the App... Calorie King. It's awesome

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[Falecha 50]

So am 5 days out and I feel great thank god.

But I am so pissed off at my husband I think I may just kill him jk. Since my surgery all he has done is eat burgers and anything fast food he can find that is junk food and not only does he do that but he does it right in front of me. In a away it seems as though he is rubbing it in my face, and is funny because he normally doesn't eat fast food 5days in a row but now is like all gates open.

I know I made the decision to have the sleeve for myself and no one else and is not that I want to eat the burgers but is my head is telling me "damn if I can only have that right now". And I thought since I asked him before the surgery to not eat things in front of me for a while that he understood what I was asking of him. Am just angry at a man who clams he is being supportive and is doing this.

I just need some advice or anyone who went through this and how they dealt with the temptation to eat when seeing someone eat in front of you.

My bf did that to too as well I just go in my room and read these threads they motivate me.

Falecha

[reinventingmyself 47]

Hopefully, he isn't doing it out of spite. I agree with previous posters. If there isnt cooking in the home, especially if you were the main person providing meals, then it may seem as if he is eating out and rubbing it in your face. But that may not be the case. I know I had that talk with my hubby before surgery. What I did was pre-prepped meals. My husband is not a picky eater and love veggies. I don't. So I took the opportunity to fix him healthy meals with food that was not tempting to me. He loved it and wouldn't eat around me until I told him it was ok. Then after surgery I still made him meals for the entire week. I wasn't tempted since I didn't have an appetite and he got to enjoy meals that I wouldn't normally cook. That kept me from being tempted from fast food, which I loved.

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[jintycb 721]

Why don't you let him see this thread and it will show him that you were concerned enough about the situation with him to start it! The male of the species is notoriously susceptible to not noticing anything that does not enter the outer layers of their consciousness! Bear with it, you will get your point through to him eventually. Just have patience-lots of it! Failing that just repeat the Serenity Prayer through gritted teeth. Saves you eating the face off him!!!!!!!

[LisaMergs 2,854]

Not that you need another take on this but- being 5 days post op perhaps if you were the main "cook" in the family this is just his way of getting a meal? I agree that you have a hard time watching it- totally get it. Pre op I would make dinner for my family, put it on the table and go for a walk while they ate if I was having a hard time. Basically I'd just say " I can't be around the food- see you in a few".

[choicemun 111]

Not that you need another take on this but- being 5 days post op perhaps if you were the main "cook" in the family this is just his way of getting a meal? I agree that you have a hard time watching it- totally get it. Pre op I would make dinner for my family, put it on the table and go for a walk while they ate if I was having a hard time. Basically I'd just say " I can't be around the food- see you in a few".

I am the main cook in the house and I think maybe that may be the case, but I cook a lot before surgery and froze a lot of food for him and our kids on top of that he can cook and has done is more than once. I think it was really just a miss understanding and he just didn't think.

[LisaMergs 2,854]

Not that you need another take on this but- being 5 days post op perhaps if you were the main "cook" in the family this is just his way of getting a meal? I agree that you have a hard time watching it- totally get it. Pre op I would make dinner for my family, put it on the table and go for a walk while they ate if I was having a hard time. Basically I'd just say " I can't be around the food- see you in a few".

I am the main cook in the house and I think maybe that may be the case, but I cook a lot before surgery and froze a lot of food for him and our kids on top of that he can cook and has done is more than once. I think it was really just a miss understanding and he just didn't think.

Lol. Then he's just a typical guy

While I was in the hospital and immediately after two things happened- my 15yo daughter went to France for spring break with her French club and my 18 yo had his wisdom teeth out. My hubby was in charge of getting them where they needed to be.

My daughter- he dropped off at the airport to her group and immediately left. My son he took to the oral surgeon, checked him in at the desk and left to run errands saying see you in a bit. As a mom, I'd have seen her pass through security and then leave and waited for them to take my son back before I sat down with a magazine in the waiting room. They have different brain connections these husbands!!!

[SarahSleeve 170]

I'm sorry you feel like you aren't being supported I worry a lot about my hubby not being as helpful as I need as I get started on my journey. I had a big conversation with him on why I wanted to do it, that I'd need his support, etc etc and his response was literally "OK". That's it. I mean, I guess it's better than no response (which is what I got when I brought it up 2 years ago). But I put a lot of thought and research into this before I decided on actually going through with it, so I think I was hoping for more. Eh.

I hope things improve for you!