Friends and Family?!

[katanne 215]

My mom thought the surgery was really dangerous and told me she didn't want to lose me. I told her it's safer than the joint-replacement surgery she had, and no one ever told her not to get her knee replaced.

My dad actually said, "Why don't you get Botox while you're at it?" in the most hostile tone imaginable. A couple weeks later, he'd come around and said, "You know I think it's a good thing you're doing this," after he saw how serious-minded I am about it and after I'd told him about many of the limitations and health risks I have I have and shitty treatment I've gotten from others about my weight.

[ava32 48]

My mom is my #1 supporter. She's in my corner for the surgery 10000%. I told my dad & step mom and they are against it. I'm very hesitant to tell anyone else. It is my body and I determine when/if I decide to tell someone. Keep it as confidential as you are comfortable with.

[mskittykat03 113]

I'm not finding many people in my life who are supportive. It's okay with me, I knew how they felt about the procedure before I made a decision so I've made the decision to not discuss with those individuals. It is not their place to make such judgements about how we handle our health. I've only shared with my significant other who is incredibly helpful and a few friends, not my family as they do not believe someone my size needs surgery. We all need to do what is best for our health, not do what our friends and family want us to do.

I know my family loves me but that is the problem, they love me as is. Maybe they are the ones afraid of change?

[Dawnie Doo 184]

I have gone through this. My husband is very supportive. However I haven't told many about the surgery. I've already heard "you're gonna get too skinny" or "you'll look sick". So I opted not to go any further with sharing info. I feel like it's a huge step for me and I need all of the positivity that I can get! I already battle my own thoughts. Smh No need for more anxiety. Moving forward with God and positive thoughts!

Dawnie_doo

[katanne 215]

@@mskittykat03 I think you may be onto something re: our friends and family members not wanting change. We chose it, they got drafted. They have to deal with us not cooking unhealthy foods anymore, not looking the way they're used to seeing us, not going on ice cream runs with them, plus others might find us more attractive and they might feel insecure, etc. They're not going to see the benefits of us becoming more active and participatory until it happens, so from their perspective, it just looks like a lot of stuff they didn't sign up for.

Edited April 2, 2016 by katanne

[Sparkles!! 77]

I have encountered some resistance - mostly from people who are nervous about me undergoing any surgery, but especially a "voluntary/cosmetic" surgery. They mostly just wish that I could/would do it the good, old-fashioned way...they somehow do not understand that I've tried their way many times and was only mildly and temporarily successful. They haven't seen the struggle or the tears that come with failing time and again, because I work hard at putting forward a confident, comfortable-in-my-skin image. And to be honest, I'm not ashamed of who I am, or how I look... I'm just finally ready to let go of the weight and the fear... I'm tired of holding back on so many things in life because of my size.

But because they see someone who is okay with herself, and doesn't have many health problems, they figure it should simply be a matter of willpower. Well, I'm now using my willpower and determination to make this surgery a successful one. Some of them may not like it, but they do love me, so that's what has won out in the long run.

Mostly though, my loved ones have been supportive, if not enthusiastic. Hopefully your loved ones will come around - but even if they don't, stick to what it is you want for yourself. You'll be happier for it in the long run!

[SarahSleeve 170]

I've told my husband and mother. I will not be telling my ILs if I can help it. They are some of the most judgmental people I've ever met and honestly it's none of their business. Haven't decided if I'll tell my sister. We aren't close and she's also pretty judgmental (never been overweight). I don't need that. Maybe after a year or two when I've lost most of my excess I'll be more open to sharing, after I've proved that it worked for me.

My mom had the surgery several years ago and I'm almost regretting saying anything to her :/ She didn't have a great experience, lots of complications in the years since, gained back a bunch of the weight (but is still down over 60lbs!). I keep hearing all about how I'll be "on my ***" for a month, exhausted and in serious pain, will need 24 hour care for the first week. How I'll be starving and probably end up 'cheating' and eating solids (since she did) before the liquid phase of the post-op diet is over. I don't know if things have changed a lot in the last few years since she had it done or if she had a bad surgeon (she was one of their first sleeves), but from what I've been reading repeatedly on the Post-op forum it's not going to be nearly as bad as she keeps telling me. She's going to be helping me with recovery so I'm trying to play nice, but sometimes I just want to say "quiet please!!"

I was hoping for support, which I am getting, but I'd be happy if I didn't have to hear every negative thing she experienced :/ I'm glad I have this forum to read and see that she's the exception, not the rule.

Edited April 5, 2016 by SarahSleeve

[taramarie523 116]

I found its best to keep it to myself. I'm already in my own head I don't need anyone else in there. Even the supportive family I've told can make annoying comments. I can't imagine the comments from other ppl. I'm doing this for me. I'm getting in my zone mentally and I can't let anyone else right now. After ward maybe I will feel differently.

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