Friends and Family?!

[Gigiandthesleeve25 12]

I'm still in the process of being approved for my surgery but I have told some close friends and family that I'm getting the surgery. Not everyone was supportive or happy about it. I was wondering if anyone else has gone through a similar experience with your loved ones?

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[AmberMc03 59]

My mother was furious with me. She ranted about surgery being non-reversible and how my Aunt's lap band was unsuccessful. I'm still not sure how she feels about it as she won't talk about it. I guess that means she is still not happy. I sent her a lengthy email explaining my decision and the benefits vs risks data. I told her that my decision has been made and the insurance company is the only thing that could stop or slow me down. I asked for her support and told her that just like previous medically necessary surgeries that I really need her support.

[Dub 9,922]

Yes.......faced with some that felt that wls is a way of giving up and going the easy way out and that I'd not tried enough on my own.....etc, etc.

I had my reasons for embracing the surgery as a tool for getting rid of.....and keeping off......the excess fat that had taken over my body and my life.

Once the weight started falling off and I became way more active and happy.......they each began to be supporters. It was interesting to see them change their views.

Don't let anyone.....no matter how close to you......no person sway you off your chosen course to get healthy.

[1excited 15]

I only told my husband and 3 other people. I felt that it was my body my choice and my business. You have to do what is best for you and your health.

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[koddie 44]

I'm not telling anyone. My oldest daughter knows and my mother I have heard too much stories from others how negative reactions hurt their feelings

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[4MRB4PHOTO 3,900]

My family has been supportive, as has friends, neighbors and coworkers.

Perhaps people are not as supportive behind my back, but that is not my concern. I needed to have this WLS for me, my health and so I can be around to take care of my family; if they can't deal with that, I'm sorry, that is their problem.

[LisaMergs 2,854]

For me- my immediate family and a friend who had GB as a support system. My weight gain (mostly) was due to having rheumatoid arthritis. The high doses of daily prednisone along with IV decadron monthly as well as many other meds, the lack of mobility due to the pain caused me to 1) blow up and 2) created iatrogenic adrenal insufficiency ( no adrenal function- no metabolism).

Friends and neighbors watched me grow over the course of 5 years. Then it was simply status quo- I was fat. But trying to explain that I was having GB to lose the weight and take the pressure off of my joints just sounds like an excuse. ( even to me)

Therefore when asked about why I was having surgery, my response is simply- my stomach suffered horrid side effects from all my RA meds so they had to operate. Kind of the truth!!

[Mistie 201]

I have been blessed in that I have not dealt with the disapproval. I told my mom, sibs, aunts/uncles. No one else. I wasn't so much worried about someone disapproving, it was a matter of accepting it for myself-and I am getting better.

[MzLaLa2016 6]

I'm still in the process of being approved for my surgery but I have told some close friends and family that I'm getting the surgery. Not everyone was supportive or happy about it. I was wondering if anyone else has gone through a similar experience with your loved ones?

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I have a surgery date for April 18. I haven't told my sons about it. Their both grown but still living with me. I told my mother and a few close friends. Everyone is not going to be supportive. If it's something you need to do just do it. No one knows how you feel but you.

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[leahhindi 65]

There are two categories of nonsupportive people in your life: those who love you and are fearful of you having such a drasric procedure. And then there are the others who are judging you, telling you that you want the easy way out, discouraging you with horror stories and using food sabotage to keep you in an unhealthy place in your life. In my opinion, the second group of people have to be shut down or eliminated from your life for real success with this post-surgery. Making the decision to have surgery and then living with that choice for the rest of your life is difficult enough without having some pain in the ass always secong guessing you and making snide comments! I often mention bariatric surgery in front of friends, but just in general--never mentioning I am having it, to see how they respond. What a negative bunch! I feel like if I have to keep this from so many people in my life, because I feel like they are going to judge me – – not feel like I deserve or earned it, then I must have a very unsupportive group of family and friends… And then that begs the question: would I have had great success with regular dieting if I had had a better support system in place. I am not trying to blame my failures on other people, but I can't help but notice that those who have great success in their lives surround themselves with positivity. Just an observation. Thanks for listening to my ranting and raving. While I am new to BP, I love knowing there's a place I can come to for positivity and encouragement.

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[excitedforweightloss 40]

My mom is fit to be tied about my upcoming WLS. I told her it's my decision. She will eventually come around when she see's ne healthier and happier I came here for information and support since my family doesn't approve and doesn't want to hear about it

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[littlered12973 5]

Yes, people have an opinion about WLS. I told my closest family but they were happy for me because they had this procedure. I think some people don't know information on the procedure and it seems like women especially get not jea6, but maybe worried about how your new self will fit into your relationship.

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[getch888 19]

Currently dealing with that! I am African and my whole family is totally against it! They have watched me become a shadow of myself over the years due to this weight and now that I have hope to gain my life back they do not want to support it. I told them I'd rather die trying than keep being this way and I am an adult and I really don't care about their opinion. As for my boyfriend who thinks I might lose my ass and boobs, told him if he does not like how I look after he can walk too. This is my life and I am taking it back. Period!

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Edited April 2, 2016 by getch888

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@getch888 ... I like the cut of your jib.

Go for it.

[Phoenix40 66]

So far I have only told my mom and my closet friends, one of which has done the surgery and the other is thinking of doing it with me. I am not ready to tell anyone else...yet. My mom and friends have been supportive (but I knew they would be). I plan to tell my dad in a couple of weeks after I have been to the seminar and talked to the surgeon. At this point, my focus is on doing what's best for me. Those that support me will share in my triumphs and those that do not will get left behind.

Edited April 1, 2016 by Phoenix40