Needing some honesty please

[UltrarunJohn 3]

I weigh 240, optimal weight age graded 205, straight bmi weight says 185. If your here, all of you know the self feelings I or we get, tired of ups and downs and lack of will. Heck I run Ultra events and will go down and look so good I eat like crap and it comes back in a storm crushing the spirit. Btw, I am a 5'11, male age 49. Please share your experiences and thoughts of you are similar, gender doesn't matter. Is it worth all you have to go through for 60lbs and being self pay. I also have 5 kids we adopted ages 11,11,12,13 and 14. A real estate career, etc etc. so eating crappy is easy, but clean takes organization and often we don't have that. Please share honestly and I will be open minded.

[kaitlynm 335]

Honestly, you are going to have to clean up your eating regardless of whether you have the surgery or not. Surgery just helps you eat less, not better. You have to do that on your own and if you can't the WLS won't work. With only 60 lbs to lose I would try it on your own and save the money for college funds. Sounds like you will need it. If that doesn't work then maybe consider the surgery. With the surgery you still get hungry, and you still have cravings for junk food. Even healthy food like nuts can be a pitfall because of all the calories. Try tracking what you eat in my fitness pal for a week or so to see how many calories you are getting.

I have the sleeve and it has been a great tool, but I have to work hard at eating right and exercising every day. I'm trying to lose 150 pounds and I'm down 90 at this point. I work out 2-3 hours every day and eat 1000 calories per day. I have to get at least 100 g of Protein in and then only complex carbs and some fat.

You may try the diet first to see if you think you can commit to it.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

As you've asked for 'honesty' on several occasions, I'll share an opinion I've had for a while...

Now, it's possibly not gonna be popular and I'm likely leaving myself open for some derision, but here it is...

IN MY OPINION, there seems to be a relatively large number of people who 'use' this process as an 'easy fix'..

IN MY OPINION, 60lbs is NOT a lot of weight to have to lose. Such an amount could 'easily' be lost by a change of lifestyle...

IN MY OPINION, this process is being abused by people who are basically too lazy to lose weight the 'old fashioned way'...

IN MY OPINION, it is such people who are responsible, at least in part, for the negativity that is experienced by some of those who are more 'genuine' cases for the surgery...

Now, before anyone launches into a tirade, let me say this -

The statements above are gross generalizations and do not, in any way, take into account anyone's medical issues..

There are, of course, many instances where there are underlying issues and/or co-morbidities..

The statements above are NOT directed at either the OP, nor anyone else specifically...

They are simply opinions based on some of the things I've seen/read in this forum..

If my opinion causes angst to anyone, I'm ok with that..

As stated, an honest opinion was asked for and an honest opinion was shared..

As always, I'm more than happy to discuss...

@@UltrarunJohn

Whichever way you decide to go, please remember this...

No matter what I may say, my support will ALWAYS be for someone who chooses to make better their lives and the lives of those around them...

All the best to you and yours...

[sgc 538]

I'm looking into getting the surgery so I can get my weight down to 240. If I was 240 I personally would not be getting the surgery. It seems like surgery should be a last option for people at the highest risk.

Edited March 24, 2016 by sgc

[2goldengirl 2,076]

@@UltrarunJohn, you have five kids and a wife. If I'm doing the math correctly, you're considering surgery in order to lose 35-40 lbs.

Honestly, don't. The sleeve won't mean you don't have to clean up your act around food. Model for your kids taking responsibility for your own health and commit to making better choices. All of you will benefit. Good luck to you.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

As has already been mentioned, the sleeve won't limit what you can eat, just how much. If you continue to eat junk and not exercise post-op, you won't be any more successful long term with surgery than without. Sleeve is simply a tool and it's up to each of us to wild that tool to it's fullest effect.

Now, that being said, I have always thought of my sleeve as weight *maintenance* surgery, not weight *loss* surgery, because I am and always have been a pro at losing weight. Maintenance is where I have failed over and over. In the past, I would lose the weight and as soon as I was "done", I would go right back to eating badly and not exercising. Since my sleeve is forever and I can never be "done" with it, it has been a very different process losing weight and keeping it off this time. So far I've maintained below goal for 7 months and counting.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

@@UltrarunJohn

At 49 with kids that young. I would probably have surgery. Only because the older you get the harder it is to lose weight, the more serious the co-modbities get. You are almost 50 and those kids needs another 10-15 years of parenting.

If you are serious about life change then the sleeve is a great tool. You have to be willing to do the work with it, and follow the steps. A lot of people that post here do surgery for the restriction and the other physical changes. One of the biggest changes that comes with surgery that people don't give enough credit is the forced retraining of how and what to eat. You basically start over from surgery like a baby and relearn how to eat. You can learn how to eat the right way and continue to eat like that for the rest of your life. The physical changes reinforce the mental changes, if you let them. If you have surgery and right away are thinking about Taco Bell, when you can have your first slice of pizza and how many crackers you can have with your tuna salad, then you will miss the point.

I think people that are self pay can be more serious because they have to shell out the cash.

At 49, I am not sure you should gamble on trying to lose on your own, if you were 19 or 29 my opinion would be different.

Also like @@JamieLogical said I think an important thing about surgery is the ability to keep weight off.

As far as people comments that 60lbs isn't that much, that is BS. 60lbs is still a lot of weight to get off and keep off. There are all kinds of people that post here that had surgery at low BMIs. If you want to have surgery and you are committed to making the life changes then do it.

I will say that it seems the hardest for people with families to make the life changes. I'm single I can control everything that comes in and out of my home. People with kids and spouses seem to constantly be surrounded by things they shouldn't eat.

[UltrarunJohn 3]

Thank you everyone for he timely and candid responses. My AA sponsor and many ultra athlete who are friends say no way, but the main key amongst pro sleeve and not is getting my head right about the weight loss period. No matter what I will never be the 27ur old guy, thinner yes, but not firmer like someone half my age. More to consider. Thanks for the thoughts.

[JCP 619]

If you can lose the weight without the surgery, do it. If you cannot, get the surgery. Yes, it's expensive and fairly painful. But it forces you to adhere to a strict diet. You will lose the weight. That said, surgery is a risk. So is obesity. Do what you need to do to be healthy for you and your family.

[UltrarunJohn 3]

I am working on other options, but just think how nice it would be to get around better, joints not hurt as bad, flexibility, heck, just bending over.

Edited April 10, 2016 by UltrarunJohn

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Thank you everyone for he timely and candid responses. My AA sponsor and many ultra athlete who are friends say no way, but the main key amongst pro sleeve and not is getting my head right about the weight loss period. No matter what I will never be the 27ur old guy, thinner yes, but not firmer like someone half my age. More to consider. Thanks for the thoughts.

Have you considered attending some OA meetings and/or working the steps around food? When you read the Big Book and change the words alcohol and alcoholic to food and compulsive eater, does it still apply?

I agree with others, the sleeve is not a magic cure buy it has been a miracle for me. That said, I think the reason I am seeing results is in part because of the mental work I have done around food up to now and in part because I have radically changed the way I eat.

I too recommend you start tracking your food with MyFitnessPal or a similar app.

Focus on getting enough Protein (at least 100 grams since you are a guy and an athlete).

Avoid starches, added sugars, and fried foods. Completely cut out anything with high fructose corn Syrup.< /p>

Choose healthy, whole foods instead of pre-packaged processed foods.

Eat good fats.

Take Vitamins (at least a Multivitamin and possibly D3).

Exercise (sounds like you are already doing so).

Wean yourself off of caffeine and carbonation.

I would suggest you check in with a good NUT to talk about your goals: losing weight, running, etc. so that he or she can help you determine the level of macros you need (protein, fat, and carbs) for your activity level and to lose weight.

One of two things will happen. Either you will lose the weight and not need surgery, or you may decide to still have surgery but you will be better prepared.

Keep in mind that whether you have surgery or not, when losing weight you WILL experience stalls. It's how you deal with those stalls that will determine your success.

Keep us posted on how you are doing and what you decide.

[finallyfree! 84]

One other thing for consideration. Does your family share your eating habits? Are your children overweight because they are sharing 'your' food? A 30 year old overweight friend of mine died today from a heart attack. She lived with her parents and they all sat on the couch together and ate and drank. I can not imagine how those parents are feeling today. Do they realise how their poor habits affected their child? Not a place you want to go. Your kids may be fine, but it is something to think about. How is your eating affecting them, now and at 30?

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I am not a medical person so my opinion isn't that valid. I was indoctrinated on the old 100# or more overweight or else serious comorbidities. The medical professionals are doing WLS on smaller and smaller people all the time, presumably for medical reasons. I just have a hard time wrapping my mind around taking the risks, changing your body permantly for smaller amounts of excess weight. As was mentioned, you STILL have to change how you eat, your lifestyle or you will likely regain.

The key thing for me is I was morbidly obese and just could not get the monkey off my back long enough to lose 150# without surgery. I never got and maintained below about 240# in the 2 decades pre sleeve and I am a 5'5" middle age woman. I now weigh in the 150s, 4years post sleeve.I wish I had been able to do this without surgery but I couldn't.

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