Husband's breaking furniture due to weight, but still refuses surgery?

[crfgirl 11]

I too hope the best for both of you. But you have to take care of yourself. With that being said ... I have one question . Instead of your mind on food do you think your NEW ADDICTION (let's face it that's what we all have in common) is YOUR HUSBANDS WEIGHT ISSUES?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited May 4, 2016 by crfgirl

[theantichick 2,204]

Since I'm on marriage #3, I don't feel like I should be giving marital advice. I certainly won't tell you to stick with him because you made a promise. I believe marriage is a contract, and when one side isn't living up to their end of it, the other side isn't obligated to keep their end up. However, I'm also not going to tell you to bail, because there is a "sickness and health" kind of thing going on. Ultimately, the fate of your marriage will depend on a lot more than you can convey here, and only you will know what choice is right.

That being said, I have been to a lot of counseling and learned a lot through my 2 failed marriages. I highly recommend a book called Boundaries by Henry Cloud. Many of us in today's society don't know how to establish healthy boundaries. What is me, what is you. Ultimately, your husband will have to decide for himself to make a change. Whether surgery or not, he is the only one who can change him. You are only in charge of you. You can choose to stop engaging in behaviour that is destructive to you. You can ask for what you need in the marriage. Not things he has to change about himself, but what you need. And you can establish what your deal breakers are, and communicate those in a loving way. Focus on becoming a healthy, self-actualized human, and see where that takes you.

I hope the best for both of you!