Nervous about surgery

[Skippin'69 17]

Hi jmc534, I too am in the process of having surgery. I am so ready. At first I worried but lately I've gone through a bad cycle of over eating that it has wiped all doubt away. Everything has been submitted to insurance and waiting for approval. I'm just so ready to get started. Good luck!

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[Skippin'69 17]

I haven't told anyone other than my wife. I don't really want to hear it either until I show everyone that it works and then let the cat out.

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[165B445 188]

I have yet to tell anyone other than my doctors and my parents. I chickened out during my last conversation with my best friend and didn't tell her...so yes, I am a bit afraid about how people will react, if they will try to talk me out of it (I just don't want to hear it - I've made up my mind), think I'm doing something crazy extreme, etc.

I've yet to fully tell my husband... don't feel like hearing" Extreme measures "for failure speech... again... so I truly understand the hesistation...

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[dadsrebel 24]

I'm up for Apr 7th and have only told a few people. My changes have been pre-op. Smoking was the biggest. I had to be quit for 6?weeks prior. I was a lifer so that was a milestone. Also, I love Diet Pepsi so to have to give that up is also a milestone. I just keep telling myself the health benefits are well worth the sacrifice

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[DeletedMember 715]

I am just 4 days post op and I have told very, very few people thus far. This is mainly because I'm a private person who doesn't chose to disclose much of my personal business to others. I have yet to decide how I will handle it down the road, I guess I'll go with whatever feels right at the time.

That being said, you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. This is not the "easy way out" this is the ONLY way out. There is over a 97% long term failure rate for morbidly obese patients who try this through just diet / exercise. We all know this, because we are all part of that 97%. Conversely, there is a 80%-90% success rate in keeping at least 50% of the excess weight off over 5 years with surgery.

Would you be embarrassed if you had heart disease and needed surgery? How about kidney disease? Would you seek treatment for cancer? OF COURSE you would. WLS is the only known successful treatment of obesity.

I struggled coming to grips with this too. I also felt like a failure. I have managed to be very successful in every other aspect of my life I put my mind to. I kept holding out that if I just tried harder, I could do this on my own. But I can't. None of us can. It's not realistically possible.

Think of it this way. If this were your job, wouldn't you use every tool available to you to be successful? In fact, wouldn't you be negligent in NOT using the most effective tool to solve any problem? Why shouldn't that apply to your health? It's because of societies negative views of obesity, and the corresponding stereotypes. We're all lazy, stupid and pathetic. Except we're not. Don't buy into that hype. Take care of yourself.

It is precisely these reasons that I may chose to be more open about this down the road. To help change some peoples stereotypes. And to hopefully allow other people with this same issue to free themselves from those societal shackles.

You got this. Ignore the haters.

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[MrsDiva65 4]

Hello everyone! I'm new here n have been reading everyone post. I'm from NJ and I will be having the duodenal switch surgery on Monday morning @ St Barnabas hospital. I'm very nervous n goung thru my ups n downs. But with prayer n my support team from my hubby my sister n children. I know I will be fine. Thank god I didn't have to do the pre op diet. I just gotta do a clear liquid all day Sunday. Well I will keep y'all posted.

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[165B445 188]

That what I keep telling myself. ... no one tried to talk me out of open heart surgery when I had my first heart attack @ 40 (I'm 43 now)....so it's none of their business and if they want to give an opinion, I will have to charge them to help pay the co-pays...

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[csawesome 181]

I am having surgery on Monday. My pcp, my surgeon and team and my husband are all I have told. In fact I got annoyed that my husband told his boss and coworker that I was having it. (It came up when he asked to take a week of to help me, and his coworker is actually having surgery with my surgeon the day after). But I look at it like this, I don't tell people any other medical procedures I have had done, why is this different? If people ask me after, I will tell them honestly but before no. My kids know that I am going for some kind of surgery, but are aloof enough to not ask what kind.

When ever I have mentioned it in the past, it's a flood of well meaning but silly comments. I don't have time for that.

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[MollyF22 62]

I totally understand where your coming from. I only told family members and some friends. I mean it's only necessary to let the people who matter know. Don't be ashamed though. This isn't an easy way of life. Alot of people just don't understand. Be proud of all that your going to sacrifice and everything that's gonna come from it

[Kesha1020 32]

I am just 4 days post op and I have told very, very few people thus far. This is mainly because I'm a private person who doesn't chose to disclose much of my personal business to others. I have yet to decide how I will handle it down the road, I guess I'll go with whatever feels right at the time.

That being said, you have NOTHING to be embarrassed about. This is not the "easy way out" this is the ONLY way out. There is over a 97% long term failure rate for morbidly obese patients who try this through just diet / exercise. We all know this, because we are all part of that 97%. Conversely, there is a 80%-90% success rate in keeping at least 50% of the excess weight off over 5 years with surgery.

Would you be embarrassed if you had heart disease and needed surgery? How about kidney disease? Would you seek treatment for cancer? OF COURSE you would. WLS is the only known successful treatment of obesity.

I struggled coming to grips with this too. I also felt like a failure. I have managed to be very successful in every other aspect of my life I put my mind to. I kept holding out that if I just tried harder, I could do this on my own. But I can't. None of us can. It's not realistically possible.

Think of it this way. If this were your job, wouldn't you use every tool available to you to be successful? In fact, wouldn't you be negligent in NOT using the most effective tool to solve any problem? Why shouldn't that apply to your health? It's because of societies negative views of obesity, and the corresponding stereotypes. We're all lazy, stupid and pathetic. Except we're not. Don't buy into that hype. Take care of yourself.

It is precisely these reasons that I may chose to be more open about this down the road. To help change some peoples stereotypes. And to hopefully allow other people with this same issue to free themselves from those societal shackles.

You got this. Ignore the haters.

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@MSUjester....Thank you for the encouraging words....I'm struggling also feeling like a failure????cuz I couldn't do it by myself.

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[kiwijet 56]

Im still in preop stage and Ive told everyone, heck I even put it on fb lol. I dont want to have to keep explaining myself. To the knockers I tell them it is a genetic related disease and its because of this same reason that skinny people with high metabolisms who eat lots of junk food cant put weight on. Ive yet to find someone come back with an answer to that. As for the lifestyle changes jmc534 maybe you will just have to get yourself a little glass for all the beer tasting. Apparently you wont need as much to enjoy yourself.

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[jmc534 50]

@@kiwijet great idea! Hahaha

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[Alex Brecher 10,512]

@@jmc534,

You’re right to be nervous. It’s great that you’re nervous about making the lifestyle changes. If you weren’t nervous, it would probably be because you hadn’t thought much about them and you hadn’t realized how seriously you’re going to need to change!

As for telling other people and worrying whether they’ll wonder about your quick weight loss, I think you may be surprised. A lot of people don’t notice very much. You may be more likely to have the opposite experience: that you lose a ton of weight and you’ll wonder why nobody seems to notice!

Don’t be embarrassed. Just think how good and proud you’ll feel when you hit goal.

I would start to think really hard about which changes you’re going to make to your lifestyle. How will you keep the drinking to a minimum when you visit breweries? How will you stay away from the food when watching Sunday football with friends? I’m guessing you don’t want to give these up because these are pretty central to your life, so I hope you can figure out some good strategies for enjoying your hobbies without eating too much and drinking.

Good luck with surgery!

[Melonymous 2]

I have yet to tell anyone other than my doctors and my parents. I chickened out during my last conversation with my best friend and didn't tell her...so yes, I am a bit afraid about how people will react, if they will try to talk me out of it (I just don't want to hear it - I've made up my mind), think I'm doing something crazy extreme, etc.

I've yet to fully tell my husband... don't feel like hearing" Extreme measures "for failure speech... again... so I truly understand the hesistation...

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I hear you. I was really afraid how my husband would react. I was pleasantly surprised when he saw I was serious. I had brought up the subject before casually and met with disdain. Maybe somehow now he realizes how much I have had it with this struggle. I am hoping that I will be the catalyst for HIM to get WLS too.

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[Mysticpink74 50]

Only my close loved ones know (my finance & my kids) I'm embarrassed to let anyone know, but mainly I feel if I'm not approved for surgery my dieting will be in vein...I know this sounds bad BUT:

I did the Bariactric diet a few years back...mainly out of spite cuz I went through the ringer & got my hopes up for surgery only to be SHOT DOWN by the psychiatrist...he said that he didn't feel I was a good candidate for surgery cuz of my depression....?!

I'm sorry but obesity & depression go hand in hand....just saying...

Anyway I did the bariatric diet (meat, 1cup veggies, 1c fruit 3x a day with no snacking in between except for Crystal light and sugar-free tropical popsicles for MONTHS!!! I lost like 70lbs & plateaued....so I got discouraged & stopped dieting & basically gained ALL my weight bk & then some

So even though I'm seeing a diff Psyhc on 4/4/16...I'm scared he's gonna turn me down too (cuz it's through the same medical facility)

I already did my 6mo dieting prior to making the decision for surgery & I saw the dietitian for the required 2x the only thing left is the Psyhc giving me the ok!!

Personally I feel like I can't tell anyone until I know FOR SURE my surgery is scheduled!!!

On another note:

if the Psyhc says I'm good to go, anyone know about how long it takes (after all the required steps are taken care) before you get insurance approval & surgery???

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