Ah me. The (gasp) Holidays

[whippledaddy 5]

Here comes the time of year dreaded by me, my whole life as a fat person.

The Holidays.

Yes, they are lovely, too, and yes I love being with family, too. But the holidays, every blessed one of them carries a load of dread as well. I start planning early in the fall to get out of them artfully, usually to no avail.

Thanksgiving approaches, and that means gathering with the whole crowd, and while it's nice to come up to date with relatives you haven't seen for a year, there must be some reason you haven't seen them for a year.

Are they looking at me judging? "Is he even bigger this year? Look, he's taking more turkey." Then they come over and act offended when I can't eat a whole pie, or don't go back for the leftovers before half time. They seem to want to send the most leftovers home with me, like I need them. But this year it will be different. This year I'll be sipping my turkey broth, take a forkful of mashed potato and call it a feast. Yep. This year will be better, I'll stand tall, and a few pounds thinner than last year. I will triumph.

Except, this year, of all years, this year, when I didn't want to get out of the family get together of Thanksgiving, this year......................they canceled. The men all want to go hunting, and everyone else (hey, I wasn't included in the men! guess that's because I don't hunt, chew snuff or drink beer) has had weight loss surgery, and can't really eat all that much. WE COULD'A STILL GOT TOGETHER! I WANNA SHOW OFF!

Well, that's okay, I guess. Soon the snow will fall, and deer season will fade to muzzle loading season, and they'll never cancel Christmas. Not and give up the orgy of overpriced gift giving! They'll all want their precious stuff! And by then I'll be able to show off even more. I will have had another month to drop ten pounds or so. Yeah. Christmas.

But the holidays still hold dread. You feel the eyes when you go shopping. The stores are cheek to cheek, you can't get down the aisles you want to, and sometimes, when you're fat, there just isn't room, to squeeze by. You wanna buy diet soda and Little Debbies, and you know how silly it looks and you see people looking in your cart and you wanna say, "Hey, the Little Debbie's are for my friend" But you know they won't believe you. Of course being the resourceful fellow I am I always make sure that right on top of my cart is a box of my wife's sanitary napkins. She thinks I'm being thoughtful, but all the other shoppers think I'm shopping for my wife, and buying what she told me to buy.

Then there's all the people you see out shopping that you know. And the obligatory chat. Is there some federal law I don't know about that forces everyone to suggest to fat people that they should play Santa? Because after forty odd years of being fat, and living in the same town it seems they would realize I ain't gonna play Santa. In fact, I think Santa's overdue for a friggin' Lap Band!

And the Cookies. Everyone shoves them at you. You know they disapprove of you being fat, but they try to make you fatter. Cakes, pies candy. The whole world goes on carb overload, and the fat person in the group is elected the point man. Eat your way to New Year's.

Not this year. Hear me world? Not this year. And by next Christmas I hope to have so much skin hangin' that you'll ask me to play a sock puppet instead of Santa.

This year I'll have a chance to enjoy the Holidays for what they are. I'll have a chance to be truly thankful next thursday for what I have been given, a new chance, and a new and shining hope for a new and shining life. A chance to deal with my problems directly and beat the monkey of food off my back once and for all. Then I can realize a month and a day later that Christmas is really about new chances, after all. It's about forgiveness, and starting over. That's why He was born, and why He died. I'll be able to remember the reason for the season.

Then a week after that I will Celebrate the holiday of eternal new beginnings, New Year. And I can do it without food, and booze. I can go out my door and look up at the frozen sky and shout "Chapter Two of my life, here I come!"

[New Hope 37]

Ryan, this will give you another month to drop even more weight before they see you! That's great! And two words about that Christmas shopping - mail order. No stress, no hassle, no crowds, no fighting for a parking place, and it's delivered right to your front door.

[Alexandra 55]

Holidays have been brutal for all of us, I'm sure. That annual get-together where people can mentally assess what's happened in the last 12 months was always something I dreaded. Especially at the event held by my in-laws, which is a 6-hour food fest in a room of mostly thin people gorging themselves insane. (What is it about Italians?)

Last year I stressed and nibbled and ended up NOT STUFFED, which was in itself a miracle. But so much has changed since then, and I'm actually looking forward to the holidays this year...all except the shopping. :rolleyes

[whippledaddy 5]

After years of studying the foods of Northern Italy I have decided they have a nearly perfect diet. Well, did have. Of course our modern premade world encroaches everywhere. Even their Desserts are barely Desserts by our standards. meat is a condiment, more than a main dish, and every meal, however meagre is a celebration of life itself. They gave the world bruschetta, for which I shall be eternally grateful.

For great recipes in this wonderful tradition seek out a book called "The Villa Table" it is the best Tuscan cook book ever. Written by the owner of the foremost school on cooking in the area.

And, yep. We Celebrate the Holidays with food. No wonder that morbid obesity is now reaching epidemic proportions in our country and others. It is a real problem now in Japan, they are getting fatter at an exponential rate. Too bad, they should have gotten taller first, at least.

[LisaMG 5]

Ok Ryan fess up...NTCBST...plz explain.

[whippledaddy 5]

"No, That Can't Be Shrinking, Too!"

[HarleyNana 10]

Like DylansMom, I too am not only tired of being the largest person at the family gatherings, but it seems every social event I would attend I'm always the largest person there. And I am sooooo over being the biggest person that I haven't been to a social event in months. I haven't even been banded yet and I can't wait for my first trip to the beach house in the spring.... I'm gonna be right in the middle of every party I can attend!

[whippledaddy 5]

Everyone on this earth has something physical that sets them apart. I find it sad that so many wish not to attend gatherings that should be moments of togethership and joy in family and friends simply because of which physical item they have.

My arrogant relations always attend. My boring relations are always there, never leave I guess. People with pock marks, people with funny ears, or large noses, or bald heads. Yes they get picked on, but the fat get it harder than many.

Look at how many of us feel this way. Afraid of our own kith and kin. Because of judgemental behaviour. One thing I know. We will not pass these prejudices along. We'll teach our children to tolerate. Now all the others out there, well, that's another story.

[New Hope 37]

Kith and kin are the absolute worst things to have to put ourselves thorough. If we can make it through that, we can make it thorough anything!

[whippledaddy 5]

Kith and kin are the absolute worst things to have to put ourselves thorough. If we can make it through that, we can make it thorough anything!

Ogden Nash (my favorite poet) wrote:

One would be in less danger

From the wiles of the stranger

If one's own kin and kith

Were more fun to be with

He got it all those years ago.

[Zoe 6]

Great posts, Ryan! "I think Santa's overdue for a friggin' Lap Band!" -- yeah, maybe he's tired of pretending to be jolly all the time while people are making jokes about his belly shaking like a bowlful of jelly. These last weeks of the year can be magical but they can also be kitschy, commercial, and crazed. Not to mention fraught with peril for anyone trying to lose weight, or just eat like a sane person. Let's do what we can to remind each other of the things worth celebrating, and to hell with anyone who wants to ruin the party.

[NY LAPSTER 0]

Hey Ryan et al

I'm about 12 dayd banded now ..still on liquids and actually graduate to mushies on Tday..Am really looking forward to some mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes...Doesn't sound real healthy but sounds delicious...Because I'm still in the closet with my wonderfully judgemental extended family I have decided to keep my journey betwwen my wife, son and myself for now..Even my unbeleivably supporitive but blabber mouth 11 year old thinks I recently had a double hernia surgery...I will tell her soon enough and then at somepoint will clue in the rest of the judgers...At least by then I will be well on my way to doing something so positive ...

Haven't decided whether to put some turkey on my plate and jst leave it there for show or just be real and put on a little mushies...No big deal..It's my house and I'll be up serving and stuff anyway so it should be easy...

Any advice on the mushy side..I hear stuffing is a no no...even drenched in gravy...like a couple of spoons ??? I f you guys don't think so ..

Anyway Ryan...you are doing terrific...Hve a great Tday and onward we go..

Steve

10/31 302.5

banded 11/11 NYC 284

11/19 269

[Zoe 6]

Steve, I'd pass up the stuffing and focus on cranberry jelly and the inside of a piece of pumpkin pie; you can even have whipped cream on it if you want. (I'm thinking healing around the band, not weight loss.) bread -- including stuffing, even loaded with gravy -- can be hard for even a long-term bandster to digest, and it's probably best not to mess with it while you're still in the mushy stage. If you can't pass up the turkey, dark meat will be easier to swallow than light; just chew it to mush. But stick to truly mushy stuff if you can -- it'll be easier on your newly banded stomach.

[NY LAPSTER 0]

tHANKS FOR THE ADVICE ZOE..i WILL HEED IT !!!

STEVE