Ugh. Can I start again, please?

Alexandra · November 20, 2004

Crap. The holidays have barely gotten here and already I'm overboard with indulging.

Yesterday a professional associate dropped by our offices and gave us two presents. One was for "the office" since we had just moved into new digs and he was giving us a little housewarming gift--a pound of high-end chocolates, thank you very much. The other gift was for me personally, since I guess he thought I'd been extra helpful to him recently. This was a TWO-POUND box of the same high-end chocolates! Oh. My. God.

Of course I immediately declared the entire haul to be office property, but it was very ego-boosting to be given such a gift I must say. And naturally, yesterday and today I've been overindulging in these amazing chocolates. Of course the result of that is a complete breaking down of any resistance I might have to other carbs. Tonight my husband baked Cookies, and oh, four or five of them found their way into my greedy mouth over the course of the evening. Between them and the chocolates I am in sugar shock.

I have to go to bed and try to sleep it off. Tomorrow is another day, and one in which I hope there will be no chocolate. Seriously, my tummy hurts.

An aside, maybe pertinent maybe not: this particular gentleman has been one of the very few people to make comments about my weight loss. He saw me for the first time in months not too long ago and his comment to me was that he might fall in love with me. He seemed really insistent that now, suddenly, he found me cute and appealing. :rolleyes

The guy is in his 70s so I'm not too concerned--he's sort of a grandfatherly type from whom the sexist comments are sort of expected--but it occurs to me that the gift of chocolate is probably not unrelated. Is he trying to sabotage me, consciously or unconsciously? Or maybe he just loves to give chocolate and now thinks it's OK to give it to me?

claraluz · November 20, 2004

Sorry, Alex. I feel your pain. I did eat three Desserts at a party this week, but the next day I regretted it because I had been doing so well. Thanksgiving will be hard, of course. But in general, I feel about sweets the same way I've heard alcoholics feel about drinks: One taste and I know I am going to just want more and more. There will never be enough. I will never really feel satisfied. And then I'll have to go through the hard work of going cold turkey again. It hardly seems worth it. Which is not to say it isn't hard to resist.

nancy

whippledaddy · November 20, 2004

Yes......Alex.....right......must......have......chocolate......help.......someone......untie me......

I'm feeling the cravings too. Nothing until today when I had to venture to Walmart and all the Christmas stuff is out. The SA guys are already ringing the bells.

La_madam · November 20, 2004

Don't men know that a womans down fall is chocolate?

I just found myself digging a spoon into the Haggen Dass chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream..there must be something in the stars or the moon right now. I havent had chocolate since the week BEFORE halloween...Don't feel bad Alex..I'm right there with you! Tomorrow is a new day...

whippledaddy · November 20, 2004

Well, I must admit, I crave ice cream something fierce. I'll not weaken. Not tonight. I dont' have any and I'm too pooped to go out, lol.

New Hope · November 20, 2004

Alex, I know you'll get right back on track! It's really sweet that man thinks so highly of you! Enjoy your sweets reward. Your band will be waiting on you.

aussie_jode · November 20, 2004

You will get back on track Alex. Its only one episode, and you probably deserve it anyway. Smile and start again tomorrow. :Bunny

I think La Madam is right about it being in the stars or something. I over did it with Pasta and meat sauce last night, followed by a Mars Bar that I have kept in the freezer since before I was banded (30 June)and then found myself in the Nuttella this morning. Well, i guess old habits do die hard...its stress for me now that I think about it. My hubby went for a trip overseas yesterday and wont be back for months. :cry :cry :cry

I am determined that it wont continue and have actively put myself into two different challenges to combat it.

Cheers and chin up.

Rebeccalee · November 20, 2004

So this is what's coming for all of us! I think it's great we can still enjoy these kinds of things. It's too bad it's so hard to get back out of the carb cravings once we dip into them. I feel for you, Alex.

Alexandra · November 20, 2004

Thanks for the support, people. I feel much better today after the sugar has worked itself through my system. It really is like a drug! I don't avoid it all the time or anything and usually don't have any problem with small amounts, but the amount I had yesterday really made itself felt. I hope I'll remember how lousy I felt and just not do it next time!!!

hagerteresa · November 20, 2004

I am so glad I just got my fill... LOL. I wasn't so happy about it being right before the holidays but after reading everyone's holiday struggles that may be coming I am beginning to appreciate my new found restriction. I was just thinking about how little I'll be able to stuff in my mouth at thanksgiving next week. Of course I am a sucker for chocolate too and I'm sure it would go down easily enough but that fill has just taken the zap right out of my snacking habit. It feels like I am all the way back at week one of solid foods. I did Soup the first couple of days but now am contemplating what solid things will work for me. Have a great weekend everyone! Teresa

momhappe1 · November 21, 2004

It has to be in the "air" I have been eating chocolate for two days. I can tell I have eaten more carbs as that is all that I want now. I just pray that all of thd food I have been eating qualifies as "mushie". It has been 4 weeks since surgery and I am eating just about everything. Except hard foods and breads. I still eat WAY less then I did before surgery, but I am ready for a fill as I eat way more then I should eat.

so hard to have self control when you are hungery and something taste good. I just pray that I am not stretching out my pouch.

WE will see when I go to surgeon on the 30th for first till.

Good luck to everyone over the holiday's. I know that I will need it!!

Zoe · November 21, 2004

Hmm... what's that in the air? chocolate? Someone tie me to the mast, please!

I bought three boxes of different types of diet fudgsicles to help take the edge off. Now, Alex, I think you're being too hard on yourself. Your husband baked Cookies and you had only four or five?! Come on now -- what would your pre-band total have been? (If you're anything like me, half the batch would be down the hatch before the dough was chilled, and the rest soon to follow.) And you were strong enough to share the box o' temptation with your co-workers. Give yourself some credit!

Anyone who's feeling the holiday food demons at his/her back, come join us on the holiday exercise challenge. It might not keep the pumpkin pie at bay, but it may help keep you focused during this calorie-packed season -- and, if nothing else, you'll have some wise-ass company on the band journey for a few weeks. We start Monday, Nov. 22, and -- Becky and Greg, take note -- I intend to kick ass! After I have a few of my mother's incomparable Mexican Wedding Cakes, of course.

aussie_jode · November 21, 2004

In light of everything I posted previously, I am in need of some spirit and kind words. My hubby has gone and now I am eating my way out of the house!Please please please let it be the 22nd soon! :ermm

I have huge emotional eating happening and I need that challenge to begin!

I have eaten my way through this weekend, eating in between meal times and then wanting those refined carbs like nothing else. Tomorrow is the beginning of the challenge and I have to pull myself together.

I am under 200lbs for the first time in my adult life and I DO NOT want to go back there. I will exercise, I WILL STOP EATING I WILL I WILL I WILL.... :ermm :ermm :ermm

whippledaddy · November 21, 2004

Well, I don't know what to tell you. I do know about me and my life, and if I tell you some things about me, maybe that could help some.

It sounds like you're trying to invoke your will power in the last couple sentences of your post. Now me, I have completely given up on will power for anything but the short stretch, say..................oh fifteen minutes.

I mean, I've got lots of willpower for a short time, but, like Sisyphus, sooner or later, you weaken, even if just a bit. Willpower hasn't help me much in the weight loss thing. What I know about me is: I've gotta deal with the emotions another way. Usually, painful as it seems at first, this is to face the emotions directly. This is because I use eating as a way to hide from my own feelings.

Emotions, to me, are just another way of saying stress. Since we know that even happy stress affects the physiology the same as unhappy stress, I concluded that stress and emotions are interchangeable for our purposes here. Alleviate the stress. Deal with the emotion. Eating isn't hiding, and it isn't helping.

Sometimes I just go somewhere and have a good cry. Catharsis is a wonderful thing. Sometimes I find a friend kind enough to listen to a good rant and vent. It all depends on how I feel.

If you don't have a friend handy, and you don't want to share things openly, pm me and rant away. I promise to respond, and not to judge. Never to judge. I'll read every word. Now I bet I'm not the only one here who'll give that offer. After all, you may not feel comfortable sharing some things with a man.

Now. If I'm so durn smart, why ain't I skinny? Why did I need the band in the first place? Because many times I fail. I fail to follow my own advice. I fail to recognize wisdom when I come across it. I fail to be strong in the face of adversity and want to hide..........which I do by eating.

I hope this can help. If not, I hope you find some way to get through this TEMPORARY difficulty. At least know, that there are tons of people who care for you, believe in you, and know that even if you have a setback today, that you will get up before the Ref counts ten and fight on. You see we believe in you, and the Band. You should believe in you and it, too.

Know that, though thousands of miles separate us all, we are close. As close as the next moment. As close as souls can be.

This too shall pass, and, oh yeah, You......Can.....Do.....It.