So many emotions...happy, nervous, excited.......

[Scarolann 2]

Oy! As I sit here this am waiting for my doctors office to open so I can call again to see if my approval is here, I have so many emotions & thoughts running thru my head. I am supposed to be sleeved one week from today so I did start the full liquid diet on Friday. Last week, I did the liquids all day then a sensible dinner. I weighed myself this am & I am down 8 lbs! That makes me happy, why can I do it myself? I will tell you, the liquid diet is NOT easy though...I thought about popcorn all day yesterday & almost caved. My family ate & while it smelled great, I honestly wasn't hungry. I wanted the food because it smelled good but I held fast:)

The other issues I have is, I have a trip to Florida May 6th....I am cutting it real close as far as travel after surgery. Im not sure what my doctor will allow? If I don't get sleeved next Monday, I may have to wait late May? I don't know....then I start having the feeling of ...if I lost 8 lbs already, I don't need surgery but we all know how that ends:( I have done too many diets to count & I have obviously always gained it all back & then some.

So, as you read above...I am really having lots of issues in my head. Bottom line is, Im done being fat, Im done with being in pain, I want to be done with all my medications.....It would make sense for me to just trudge ahead & get the surgery no matter what, right? Why so many thoughts? Im not the only one who goes thru this?

Not trying to be a downer...Im generally a positive person. And I should be happy I lost 8 lbs & I am:)

[Pillar2butterfly 391]

Hi Scarolan....welcome! 8 lbs is great! Honestly, the liquid diet is the worst and hardest part of the journey in my opinion. It really sucked....but after the first couple of days it got better. Talk to your surgeon about your trip....I was cleared for travel as long as I was off narcotics (which i was). I traveled (flew) 2 weeks later with no issues.

Whether or not you need surgery...well that is always a personal choice...and only you can make. I too lost some on the liquid diet, but I knew that wasn't something i could do long term or had any confidence in myself that i could sustain. I was fully committed to surgery the day I met my surgeon (which was 6 months prior to my surgery)...of course I had researched it for months and knew it was a sign from GOD when I saw that my employer had our insurance company covering it the upcoming year.

Again, welcome to the site, and congrats on your loss, and good luck with your surgery or if you decide not to...good luck anyway!

[JamieLogical 8,704]

It's normal to question your decision this close to surgery. Especially when going through the torture of the pre-op diet. You have to hang in there and remember that you made this decision when you were being reasonable and rational. Now you are being emotional and that is NOT a good time to change your mind.

As for travel post-op, there is no reason you shouldn't be able to fly or travel even 2-3 days post-op. I had my surgery in Mexico and flew home 4 days post-op. The main challenge with travel soon after surgery isn't physical, it's planning your food and hydration. As long as you have access to the types of food you will need for whichever food stage you are in, there should be no problem.

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

If you feel like you can control yourselfand you have a good relationship with food, then surgery will just make it all easier. You can eat less and not feel deprived. It removes the "stress" of dieting. At least in my case.

[melyssafaye 181]

I'm on the liquid diet right now as well, so I'm right there too.

I look at it this way- there are lots of "people" in my head. Not in the multiple personality way but like in the "inside out" way. They are the voices that make up stream of consciousness. Anyway, the person who wants to lose weight and is committed to the liquid diet isn't the same one that is saying that surgery isn't necessary. It's too risky, to permanent and you won't be able to enjoy food ever again. It's the same voice that kicks your butt all the time saying that you're too fat and then once you begin a diet or exercise plan, it tells you that you won't stick to it and that you could just have a splurge. After all, you deserve it. Once you give in, it kicks your butt because you can't stick to anything.

Here's the point. That voice doesn't like you and isn't trying to help. It just wants to keep you in the cycle of self hate. Right now, it's freaking out because you're on the verge of taking control. It's pulling out the big guns to stop you. So expect this fear, worry and second thoughts to get worse. Just ignore it.

I'm not sure if this makes any sense, but what I find helpful is meditating and listening to the voices just to observe. I have so many hurts from being fat all my life. I try to find who it is that's worried/freaking out and (figuratively) embrace them with compassion and tell the scared little fat girl inside that it's going to be okay. I know it's scary but I'll take care of her and if there comes a time when she needs to freak out, I'll let her know. That seems to help.

I know this probably makes no sense.

Tl;DR- it will be ok. Stay strong!!

[Scarolann 2]

You are all so helpful!! I appreciate all the advice:)

[Scarolann 2]

I was denied today....talked with the medical assistant to my doctor & she isn't sure why? I did gain 4 lbs at my last weigh in but they said I had no co-morbidities? I have high blood pressure which I have been medicated for for years plus high chlo which I have 2 medications for, had 4 knee surgeries & in constant pain..& Im borderline diabetic??? Needless to say, Im so discouraged & mad..I have this sinking feeling in my stomach that just wont go away....Im still doing my liquid diet though, she didn't say to stop & she is calling them tomorrow. Im down 8 lbs & Im not going to blow it but if I cant get it done in March, I don't know when I can get it done:( This kinda sucks..I could cry, I did cry:(

[2goldengirl 2,076]

Of course you're disappointed! Who wouldn't cry over that?

It may be that your policy only considers comorbidities that aren't well controlled with medications. Some health plans do that, I can't speak to yours. Hang in there, your surgeon's office sounds like they're going to bat for you.

[JamieLogical 8,704]

Hopefully they can get it sorted out or you can appeal. I'm sorry it's not going smoothly.