Need to rant

[scaredbuthopeful 6]

So my husband (who isn't really supportive) has just told me that his elderly auntie and uncle are coming to stay on the 10 April for three days, I have my op on the 07th of April and didn't want any of his family to know!!! Ive told him that I'm really not going to feel like entertaining them while he is at work and I'm only three days post op but he has said I am been unreasonable... So angry!!!

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[2goldengirl 2,076]

You are NOT being unreasonable - he is. Completely. Go stay with a friend or get yourself a hotel room and see how he deals with visiting family on his own.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

He elevates "non-supportive" to a creative art form. Because I can't think of a workable solution, as it would raise questions that you don't want asked (about having surgery), I suggest we all come to your town to kick your husband in the shins. I hope you can work this out in reasonable fashion.

Have you considered inviting him to attend a support group meeting with you? He may catch on from hearing other people's experiences. Yours is too close for comfort...maybe.

Edited March 21, 2016 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[Valentina 2,642]

I can't imagine that the aunt and uncle would want to come if they knew you are going to be "post op" for whatever reason.

Maybe, "some one" needs to gently tell them that you are have a "procedure" done and would enjoy their visit SOOOO much more later on in the Spring.

That would be my "Plan A" suggestion.

[JenniferP1 75]

NOT cool! This is major surgery -- you will not feel well enough to entertain after just 3 days post-op PLUS you have the right to your privacy. If there is no way out of hosting the fam, I would see about postponing the surgery for a week so you can properly focus on your recuperation and health.

Edited March 20, 2016 by JenniferP1

[M!@ 320]

I can understand how upset you must be with him. However, don't let it get you down. I know you did not want others to know about your procedure, and you probably don't want to postpone either.

I say just go forth as planned, but also let your husband know your feelings (calmly, even though you're upset). If at 3 days post op you don't feel like entertaining (which at this point is unclear, some people are fine by then), then only do what you are up for, and excuse yourself. They might understand that you are not up to it. That or plan for activities in the home that require little to no effort on your part (they are elderly right?).

Sorry, I am just trying to be optimistic.

[KindaFamiliar 3,867]

And THIS is why I'll never have a husband!!

Well...

It's one of the reasons...

[scaredbuthopeful 6]

Thank you all... I'm going to sit down with him after work on Monday and tell him he either supports me or he will be explaining to the family why he is moving out!!!

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[glitter eyes 1,398]

Good for you!! That is super rude for him to expect you to entertain that soon after surgery. I agree with one of the above posters- maybe you can call them and ask if they can come another time.

Best of luck to you, you deserve happiness

[Juhygtfrdsd 154]

I see it a differnt way your a marriage...in his eyes prob thinks you can hadle it all. I would let them come and just tell them you have the flue or something this certainly is not something to let go of your marriage over...a heart to heart is required yes but not kicking him out etc...

[liposuction68 178]

wHEN THEY GET THERE I WOULD TELL THEM THAT IM SICK FLU CRAMPS WHATEVER KINDLY CLOSE MY BEDROOM DOOR AND GO TO sleep. yOUR HUSBANCD WILL GET THE MESSAGE.

[chrisredjeep 357]

Totally agree with golden girl

[msgicheygicheyaya 1]

First time writing. Had my surgery 3-10. My only support was my hubby. I have been sick since surgery. It has been hell. Long story this is yours not mine so I don't want the point to get lost. I don't know if I have been sick because of I have numerous Chronic Pain conditions and a laundry list of ills or luck of the draw. I didn't plan for it and have never been this sick. My husband has been THERE and wiping my butt because I can't barely lift my arms. I think you should assume oh I will be fine and I can do everything for my self. I think that is why it is stress if there is outside support. I also feel your not privy to all the downfalls of these surgeries because many would back out. It's only the beginning for me and it's a long road. I know I may be singing a different tune in 3-6 months but as of now wish I hadn't done this. Just have support and be prepared. Good Luck. Cl

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[lachellove 486]

How'd the talk go?

[Kelly84 88]

NOT cool! This is major surgery -- you will not feel well enough to entertain after just 3 days post-op PLUS you have the right to your privacy. If there is no way out of hosting the fam, I would see about postponing the surgery for a week so you can properly focus on your recuperation and health.

I disagree. Why should she postpone a surgery she has worked so hard on preparing for just bc her husband is a DICK. I think you should go ahead and make a hotel reservation and constraint on YOU. You will be able to heal in peace and privacy. Just pak for anything you will need. You do what you need to do for yourself .... no one else

FatKellyRN>soontobe<SleeveKellyRN