What Y'all Think- VI

[1Cor2:9 193]

To tell or not to tell. I recently watched a video that has discussed the topic of should people tell, not tell, or lie about having VSG. This is my thought about it whatever decision you make it needs to be right for you. I would say most people who know me do not know I have surgery and that is by designed. When people tell me that I am losing weight I just say thank you and keep it pushin'. So far I have lied about what I doing to lose weight. I was in a classroom because I was about to tutor a student when the homeroom teacher asked me if I was losing weight and I said yes and simply walked away. Not even a few minutes later she walks to where I am and ask what my secret was. I told her I am doing the normal things to lose weight. Usually when co-worker ask about work it is when I am in the hallway and I say thank you and keep walking away before I get more questions but in this situation I could not walk away and at the same time I did not feel it was any of her business.

What are your thoughts? Did you tell everybody? How did you decide whom to confide in and whom to keep in the dark?

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I only told a few of my closest friends and family beforehand. I didn't want to deal with being overloaded with questions and/or negativity as I was getting ready for my surgery.

After surgery, when people asked me how I was losing weight, I told them about my surgery. The response has been just about 100% positive, but for me the big thing is not so much any reaction I might get, but just not wanting to contribute to our cultural myth that anyone can lose weight if they just eat less and move more. I struggled so long in my life with that myth. It made my life miserable and probably almost killed me. If I can do anything to dispel that myth a little bit by being honest in my life, I will.

Already two people I told about the surgery (because they asked, I didn't volunteer it) have had surgery and are doing great! I'm glad I told them the truth.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Nope. Told hubby and two close friends (each 1,000 miles away from me in opposite directions). Didn't tell my siblings, my other (many) close friends, clients, colleagues, strangers, etc.

Everyone on my medical team -- PCP and surgeon's office -- all know I'm on the down low and staying there.

Why didn't I tell anyone? I didn't want to become a WLS posterchild and invite ignorant comments or discouraging words from every Tom, Dick and Harry.

I'll also cop that I didn't want The Whole World Watching -- what I ate, making sure I exercised, just meddling in my business, period.

Nineteen months down the road I'm much more confident of not regaining; I've been at goal or below for a year now, and that's the first time EVER EVER in my whole life that has happened!

And I'm still happy as pie that nobody knows I had WLS.

[GibbsGirl 483]

I told close friends and family. If someone comments on my weight loss, I say "I am trying very hard", if they ask more I do tell them about my sleeve and my change of eating habits. I live in a small town so it is what it is. I don't get many negative comments, I think because people know my sisters, friends and mother will pounce. lol

[melyssafaye 181]

I only told a few of my closest friends and family beforehand. I didn't want to deal with being overloaded with questions and/or negativity as I was getting ready for my surgery.

After surgery, when people asked me how I was losing weight, I told them about my surgery. The response has been just about 100% positive, but for me the big thing is not so much any reaction I might get, but just not wanting to contribute to our cultural myth that anyone can lose weight if they just eat less and move more. I struggled so long in my life with that myth. It made my life miserable and probably almost killed me. If I can do anything to dispel that myth a little bit by being honest in my life, I will.

Already two people I told about the surgery (because they asked, I didn't volunteer it) have had surgery and are doing great! I'm glad I told them the truth.

It takes a lot of courage to be honest about wls. I appreciate what you said about the cultural myth. I've been considering this as well. I'm about a week away from surgery and dealing with who to tell. While I value my privacy and feel that health matters are deeply personal ( I never told anyone about my plans for rhinoplasty either), I don't want to be complicit in spreading that myth. It has been the root of my shame since I was 8 and first understood that I was fat. It kills people everyday. I am Southern and have so many family members who are struggling (or have lost their fight) with obesity and diabetes. My uncle, who is a Vietnam Vet, recently lost his leg to it. The war took his eye but diabetes and obesity took his leg. Not once has anyone explained to him that wls would help his diabetes. They just tell him to eat less and exercise more.

Even if they had, he would have brushed it off like it was some sort of cosmetic surgery instead of a life saving intervention. But I don't want to get on a rant about how obesity is being treated as a moral failing rather than the disease it is.

I want to be honest, and applaud you for it. At the same time, I think it would become exhausting and the every conversation would end up being about surgery. I'm tired of my weight being a topic of discussion.

[Sophie74656 1,572]

Only my very immediate family and two close friends know I had surgery. I only wanted to tell people that I knew would be supportive. There is enough stress and difficulty without people being negative

[BestDayEver 418]

I don't advertise I've had surgery but I will never lie about it either. When people ask how i do it, I tell them I had wls with a big smile on my face. I'm happy with my choice but I'm sure there are naysayers and frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn.

[Sophie74656 1,572]

If people ask me how I lost weight I just say I've been eating less...not a lie

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

I am pretty frank and open about itches asked. I haven't broadcast it on social media, but most of my friends and acquaintances know.

I have lots of cheerleaders in my corner.

[agalindo17 331]

I am pretty frank and open about itches asked. I haven't broadcast it on social media, but most of my friends and acquaintances know.

I have lots of cheerleaders in my corner.

Same here!

[lilbeanie 52]

I hardly saw anyone when I was at my highest weight... I work from home but the weight also made me avoid any other human interaction. I was ashamed of how big I got. But I saw my hair stylist when I was pretty close. I just went to get a haircut last weekend for the first time in a year. She immediately noticed the loss and tried talking to me about it for several minutes. I just told her that I was eating less, doing low carb, and trying to exercise a bit more (which is all true). The rest of the time she kept asking me how I was feeling, if I was excited, etc. Even if she hadn't brought up my weight loss I probably would have mentioned it myself because I have no other excuse to give for my Hair loss. She's very familiar with my hair and she would have noticed on her own if I didn't bring it up ahead of time.

My immediate family, my boyfriend, and a few online friends know about it. Some people know I got surgery, just not what for. I don't have plans to tell anyone who asks. I'll just keep saying the small portions and low carb thing, most likely.

Edited March 24, 2016 by lilbeanie

[littlered12973 5]

So this is such an important topic. I only told my parents (both had WLS ), hubby and 3 best friends. My dad accidentally told a family friend who told their wife and sister and they quickly called my mom to voice their negative opinion. I think that some people either have not had the same struggle or are too scared to take this massive step. I was told that I was ruining the rest of my life but I actually feel the opposite. I am doing what I have to so that I can live longer and check back into all of the fun events and family around me. Opinions are like ASS HOLES. ..everyone has one. Your journey is your business and you know what you need to do for yourself.

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