I need to do this, no matter what

[Micoxv 276]

I don't know where to start so I apologize in advance if my story is not that easy to follow.

I am a French guy of 42 years old living in Spain (Barcelona) and I have been fighting with overweight my entire life.

I am currently at 280 but went up to 350 several years ago (for 5 ft 11).

I have been told my entire childhood to finish my plate, so no waste (and also the dish, so no left over, right?).

I am also an epicurean and enjoy food, cooking, craft beers (favorite one is from a US microbrewery) and of course wine.

I have been playing rugby for over 15 years so the overweight damage was under control and I also built up some muscles under my layer of fat.

I have been trying all kind of diets, the latest one was called Dukan diet (basically an "all you can eat protein" one) that showed up pretty effective (went down to 220 in a year) but did not help me with my eating disorder....

I thought I was arrived to a decent level and all the cravings I had were not bearable anymore, so back to 280..

I am a big eater. I have always been a big eater. I don't snack, don't have a sweet tooth, but I can eat a full T-Bone and still feel hungry.

I reach a point I can't get me food sick anymore and it drives me crazy to see I can't control it.

I still do sports (cardio and weight lifting) so I consider myself in a decent shape for a big guy like me.

I need a physical barrier to keep the wolf inside of me. On top of eating a lot, I also eat fast. All the don't dos.

I have been reading everything and anything about bariatric surgery. the book from Andy Butler was an eye opener.

I believe that VSG is right for me. I found my surgeon, and I was scheduled for March 22. I even started to post on that.

Then my life took an unexpected and dramatic turn on March 7. Our baby boy of 21 months passed away, My heart is broken since then.but for some reason my decision on the VSG is stronger than never.

I was also diagnosed with pneumonia (bacterial) on March 11 and today I went for another set of X-Ray after a week of heavy antibiotics. I am recovering very well, even if I still cough. I have been doing all of my prep op tests and everything looks good for my surgeon.

It seems I am a go for March 22, but still need to be confirmed on next Monday.

I want to be done with my life as it is today. I want to stop feeling tired in the morning. I believe I have sleep apnea even I never tested for it.

I want to be more active than I am now for my 6 year old daughter. I want to go jogging with colleagues, I want to feel comfortable on a bike. Aisle seats on plane should not be an obsession.I don't want to become a customer of my company that sells products for diabetic people. I want a new me. A new image. Healthier, stronger, dynamic and different.

Obviously I lost my appetite for a couple of weeks now. I am suffering everyday and I don't see how I will be able to ever fix my broken heart.

At the same time, I have the impression I also need to recenter my attention on myself, be a bit selfish and get ready for that incredible challenge that VSG is.

My wife is worried but supportive, my sister thinks I am crazy and my best buddy tried to convince not to do it. I did not tell anybody else and won't. I am sharing here because I believe it is the right place and the people that are making this community are an inspiration.

Everybody has a different story but the common point I noticed while reading is that there is a lot of respect in the comments and no judging.

Please don't mention condolences or that you are sorry for my loss if you post on this. I assume you are if you have a bit of compassion. This is not the goal of my message. I am looking for tips, experience, real life feedback.

I know I am on an emotional roller coaster and that what is coming will be huge, but at the same time, I am convinced I need this.

Thanks.

Mico

[heidikat72 935]

Definitely take the time to focus on yourself and your health. I commend you on realizing this. So often when dealing with tragedy of any sort, we do just the opposite and spiral out of control (I know I did). I would suggest seeking some counseling. Not only to deal with the grief but also all the changes you'll be going through after surgery including working on the "head hunger" that will still be telling you that you want to eat that whole T-bone steak.

And definitely come to this site whenever you need additional support (and to update us on your journey). There are a lot of truly wonderful people on this site who inspire with their stories as well as give compassionate real advice - even when sometimes it can be hard advice to hear. also, letting your wife read some of the posts on here may help alleviate some of her worry.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Welcome, Mico.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Am I allowed to at least send a virtual hug?

I hope you are able to recover well from your pneumonia. Going into surgery as healthy as possible is the best way to avoid any major complications.

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 (am coming up on my 1 year Surgiversary). I can honestly say this was the best decision for me and that it has saved my life. I was one fall and one "diet" away from being bedbound.

I have a long way to go still but I am already getting my life back.

I wish you all the best with your surgery. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[kaitlynm 335]

Hi Mico

I wish you well on this journey. I think you are doing the right thing by having the surgery. I too have always been good at getting the exercise in, but could not keep the weight from coming back each time I lost. The exercise will help a lot with the weight loss and emotionally too I think.

You sound like you are a perfect candidate in that you eat only at meal times and do not do the grazing or snacking so much. The sleeve will help you control how much you eat so gone will be the days of eating a whole steak. I used to drink a lot of wine as well but have really not had that hard of a time giving it up. I still have a glass here and there, but gone are the days of drinking 2 bottles in an afternoon.

I didn't get a lot of support from my family and some of my friends either. You have done the research so you have to follow your gut. I just don't tell anyone anymore that I had the surgery, and wish I had told fewer people before.

Good luck with your decision. Hope to see you on the losers bench soon.

[Micoxv 276]

Definitely take the time to focus on yourself and your health. I commend you on realizing this. So often when dealing with tragedy of any sort, we do just the opposite and spiral out of control (I know I did). I would suggest seeking some counseling. Not only to deal with the grief but also all the changes you'll be going through after surgery including working on the "head hunger" that will still be telling you that you want to eat that whole T-bone steak.

And definitely come to this site whenever you need additional support (and to update us on your journey). There are a lot of truly wonderful people on this site who inspire with their stories as well as give compassionate real advice - even when sometimes it can be hard advice to hear. also, letting your wife read some of the posts on here may help alleviate some of her worry.

Thank you for your message. I agree with the counseling. I am afraid of the "head hunger". I hope that the fact I should not feel hungry will help me controlling this and focusing on many other things than food. I will share my journey as I want to give back to this community. I don't think my wife is ready to read the posts and I also think she could not understand what we are going through since she has been skinny all her life.

[Micoxv 276]

Welcome, Mico.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. Am I allowed to at least send a virtual hug?

I hope you are able to recover well from your pneumonia. Going into surgery as healthy as possible is the best way to avoid any major complications.

I was sleeved April 20, 2015 (am coming up on my 1 year Surgiversary). I can honestly say this was the best decision for me and that it has saved my life. I was one fall and one "diet" away from being bedbound.

I have a long way to go still but I am already getting my life back.

I wish you all the best with your surgery. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Virtual hugs are always welcome. I feel way better and I am optimistic I can go through the surgery next Tuesday. I have a crazy schedule and this is may be the only opportunity for me before several months and I don't I will be able to wait so long. I will definitely let all of you know how I am doing.

[Micoxv 276]

Hi Mico

I wish you well on this journey. I think you are doing the right thing by having the surgery. I too have always been good at getting the exercise in, but could not keep the weight from coming back each time I lost. The exercise will help a lot with the weight loss and emotionally too I think.

You sound like you are a perfect candidate in that you eat only at meal times and do not do the grazing or snacking so much. The sleeve will help you control how much you eat so gone will be the days of eating a whole steak. I used to drink a lot of wine as well but have really not had that hard of a time giving it up. I still have a glass here and there, but gone are the days of drinking 2 bottles in an afternoon.

I didn't get a lot of support from my family and some of my friends either. You have done the research so you have to follow your gut. I just don't tell anyone anymore that I had the surgery, and wish I had told fewer people before.

Good luck with your decision. Hope to see you on the losers bench soon.

I know it is a one way ticket. I know it is a permanent change in life style. I want to focus on my body, my progress, my sensations. I know it will be tough but it is the most personal decision I can take to save myself. I believe it is easier to get support from people that are going through the same experience. Control is everything and I need to get my life back under control or I am afraid it could get worse for me.

[chrisredjeep 357]

I too read the Andy butler book called because I was fat . I read it just before I went to see the surgeon. Please go ahead and have the surgery. WLS has changed my life and I am so happy I did it

[Micoxv 276]

I too read the Andy butler book called because I was fat . I read it just before I went to see the surgeon. Please go ahead and have the surgery. WLS has changed my life and I am so happy I did it

I am supposed to get the surgery done tomorrow morning. I am so calm it freaks me out. My only fear is for the anesthetist to tell me to postpone it because I did not recover enough from the pneumonia.

I really hope it works out. I will let you know.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Wishing you all the best. Let us know when you are on the other side!

[kaitlynm 335]

I hope everything works out well for you tomorrow. You deserve it.

[Micoxv 276]

Sleeve is done! Some pain and feeling a big weight on my chest but nothing unbearable . Great surgeon and awesome team of nurses.

Now the recovery begins

[Ruth1ess 494]

Congratulations on your new journey! Hope to see you around.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using the BariatricPal App

[Micoxv 276]

Oh yeah. I am not about to leave this great place!

[Micoxv 276]

Oh yeah. I am not about to leave this great place!