Continually cheating

Rubyjade · August 3, 2007

Hi All

It's been a while since I have been on here. It's good to be back!! I Just wanted to get some advice from other people who may be in the same situation.

I keep cheating. I keep sabotaging myself and I have NO idea why. It's upsetting me because my weight has hardly changed in the past year. I keep mostly drinking with my meals to fit more food in.

I feel totally out of control during these times. I beat myself up about it because I dont believe anything has changed emotionally for me. I have been given this tool, so why the heck can't I just appreciate it and make the best of it??? I have lost 140 pounds over the last 3 years and have about 60 to go. I just assumed that it would all 'fall in to place' mentally but I honestly still think exactly the way I did when I was 360 pounds.

Any similar experiences you might wish to share with me and offer some advice would be very much appreciated.

Thank you

JulieNYC · August 3, 2007

OK, you've identified the main problem, which is a good first step -- i.e. your problem is that you're drinking when you eat. Have you tried making that your only rule, meaning that you make a deal with yourself that you will NEVER eat and drink at the same time -- you can do ANYTHING else, eat ANYTHING you want, but you CANNOT drink at the same time? If you do that for a couple of weeks, it might trigger the sense of fullness that helped you to lose the 140, at which point you can shift your focus to making better food choices. But, for the moment, only worry about NOT drinking with food. I really think that's key for you.

Hang in there,

Rubyjade · August 3, 2007

Thanks Julie, I think you might be on to something there. I probably need to fix this one thing at a time so it isn't so overwhelming. Once I have gotten the drinking at the same time as eating thing sorted out then I can move on to the next step. I never thought of it that way, thanks so much for your input.

I was banded by a Dr who works with Dr Fielding in Brisbane, Australia. Such a small world!!

Thanks again

Darragha · August 4, 2007

Hi RubyJade

From what I've read: don't drink when you eat. Huh? That's simple enough.

Next: MAJOR HELLACIOUS, WILD MEN DANCING IN THE STREET CONGRATS on your weight loss. Holy smut, woman!

I'm starting out right about where you were. And I don't live far from you.

Darr

WASaBubbleButt · August 4, 2007

Hi RubyJade
From what I've read: don't drink when you eat. Huh? That's simple enough.

Next: MAJOR HELLACIOUS, WILD MEN DANCING IN THE STREET CONGRATS on your weight loss. Holy smut, woman!

I'm starting out right about where you were. And I don't live far from you.

Darr

Darr....

I think you might be missing the problem. Telling her to just quit drinking while she is eating is like telling anyone else to just stop eating and lose weight. That's why she is here, it is all a bit much right now and that is why she is looking for solutions.

We all have a compulsion to overeat. For some folks the band manages the problem most of the time, for others they have additional challenges. It's all doable, we just need to come up with suggestions to help the more problematic challenges.

Rubyjade....

When you are drinking so you can eat more, are you doing the emotional eating thing? Are you angry? Upset? Depressed? Bored? What's going on when you want to binge?

Are you physically hungry? Sometimes when any of us wait to eat until we are starving we tend to want to pack it in.

When was your last fill? Your last fluoro?

One problem with drinking with meals it is can cause a dilated pouch and other esophageal problems. Please consider getting it checked out. It isn't wise to let it go on and your eating behaviors can easily cause this problem.

derbygirl · August 4, 2007

I am starting to do this same thing. My problem, I believe, is that I want to sample everything.

For instance, I had Mexican food last night with my parents. They wanted queso to start with. Since I was hungry, I had maybe three chips with a little queso. I drank some Water after this because I had already ordered my main course. Then came my fajitas. I ate one and I was "full". But I REALLY WANTED some sopapillas afterward!! I didn't get them, but I soooo wanted to taste them.

I want to sample it all, but you can't just order a tiny bit and once it's in front of you, it's hard to stop because even though you're satisfied, you're not stuffed like you used to feel when you pigged out pre-band.

When I'm at home, cooking for myself, I don't have this problem, but I do still crave sweets in-between meals a lot. While I don't keep sweets in the house, I find myself stopping for treats a lot more than I should--like daily.

I'm worried I'm not going to be able to fight this urge my entire life or even long enough to get remotely close to my close. My band is almost full...9 ccs out of 10...and I have a long way to go. I have tried talking to a psych. and she was useless. She basically told me to "just stop." I couldn't believe I paid her $100 an hour for that advice.

I really need ideas for something sweet that won't sabotage me.

WASaBubbleButt · August 6, 2007

And it really helps me to have a few bites of hard Protein (grilled steak usually works) contrary to Bandster Rules, AFTER I have a few bites of carbs....I really DO not only feel 'not hungry' I feel 'FULL'....as in, "YES ma'm I've really HAD ENOUGH".....

This is why I'm not much for the phrase "Bandster rules". I see them more as guidelines and each person has to see what works for them. If I had to eat all my food in 20 minutes I'd starve to death. I have to eat verrrry slowly or I'll PB. Even though I don't finish in 20 minutes I still eat bandster portions.

Rubyjade · August 7, 2007

Darr....
I think you might be missing the problem. Telling her to just quit drinking while she is eating is like telling anyone else to just stop eating and lose weight. That's why she is here, it is all a bit much right now and that is why she is looking for solutions.

We all have a compulsion to overeat. For some folks the band manages the problem most of the time, for others they have additional challenges. It's all doable, we just need to come up with suggestions to help the more problematic challenges.

Rubyjade....

When you are drinking so you can eat more, are you doing the emotional eating thing? Are you angry? Upset? Depressed? Bored? What's going on when you want to binge?

Are you physically hungry? Sometimes when any of us wait to eat until we are starving we tend to want to pack it in.

When was your last fill? Your last fluoro?

One problem with drinking with meals it is can cause a dilated pouch and other esophageal problems. Please consider getting it checked out. It isn't wise to let it go on and your eating behaviors can easily cause this problem.

Yes yes yes, that is EXACTLY it!! Darr, I know you mean well but what Wasabubblebutt said is exactly where I am coming from. I would not be on here asking for advice if I could just do that. Heck, I wouldn't even have a lap band in the first place if I could just 'do' what I should!!!!

I had a dilated pouch last year and severe reflux caused by this very behaviour and by having a way too tight band. Since I have had the band loosened, it has been much much better and the acid problems and pouch dilation has gone away. That scared me enough for a while but seems the cause of the dilation was mainly a too tight band.

Anyway since I started that thread I have been remarkably well behaved and have been absolutely following the rules like nothing else!!! I had a long talk with my husband and being the wonderful support he is, it really brought home to me how much of a great opportunity I have to get rid of this weight and get healthier. He is a sober 10 years alcoholic so he can certainly relate to a lot of my food issues, only his are with other substances.

Thank you all for your support. I find it so much easier to deal with this day in , day out when I visit this board regularly. You inspire me and give me that kick up the a** when I truly need it.

Thank you ;-)