Newbie .. Surgery buddy ? Advice?

[Chaelove0810 61]

Hello every one I'm 26 lesbian haven't yet got a surgery date but I am schedule for the 22nd of March to meet with my surgeon so hopefully it will go pretty quickly from there .. Lookin for people to chat with that have advice about this process and maybe a surgery buddy

My biggest fears are blood clots or the surgery just simply not working

I want to lose 100lbs in total

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[Sandi73 15]

Hi, I'm also a lesbian at the beginning of this process. I had my first appointment on the 9th. I've set up all of the appointments I need to be approved, but my insurance barely pays anything toward the procedure or hospitalization, so I'm not certain this is going to happen due to the cost prohibitive issues.

I'd like to lose 135 pounds from where I stand now. I've actually had blood clots and have to see a hematologist in addition to the usual docs before surgery. I'm significantly older than you are, but my DVT and PE happened at 28 and were post-pregnancy complications. Just discuss your concerns with your doctor and I'm sure she/he will put your mind at ease.

I hope your appointment goes well!

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[Chaelove0810 61]

Hi, I'm also a lesbian at the beginning of this process. I had my first appointment on the 9th. I've set up all of the appointments I need to be approved, but my insurance barely pays anything toward the procedure or hospitalization, so I'm not certain this is going to happen due to the cost prohibitive issues.

I'd like to lose 135 pounds from where I stand now. I've actually had blood clots and have to see a hematologist in addition to the usual docs before surgery. I'm significantly older than you are, but my DVT and PE happened at 28 and were post-pregnancy complications. Just discuss your concerns with your doctor and I'm sure she/he will put your mind at ease.

I hope your appointment goes well!

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So blood clots are something that can be treated if caught?

Did you receive a surgery date ?

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[Sandi73 15]

I won't get a surgery date for several months because my insurance won't approve it until I jump through all the hoops for at least three months. I also can't afford the out of pocket portion yet. I was disappointed at my first visit when I was told how much I had to pay upfront before they would schedule.

As for blood clots, it really depends. I knew my leg felt odd and called my doctor who told me to go in immediately. I felt the clot hit my lung as I was getting ready to leave for the ER. I was lucky and made it through. Just make sure you get up and move as soon as you can and as often as you can. That's the best way to avoid clotting after surgery. I had my gallbladder out about 5 years after I had the clots and I walked and walked because I was scared. I also have to have the dreaded Lovenox shots with every surgery. I have severe reactions to them, but they are better than dying. Speak with your doctor and I'm sure your mind will be put at ease.

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[Chaelove0810 61]

When I got the call from the bariatric facility she told me that my insurance doesn't require Any type of diet so it should go pretty quick I hope it does I meet with my surgeon Monday so I hope they can give me a better insight . And sheesh well I'm glad you're okay and made it that had to be scary but I'm definitely be up and active afterwards

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[tineybeenie 3]

Hey ladies- I just found this app tonight and was surprised to find an LGBT specific thread! I'm having surgery on April 4th, and starting my pre-op diet tomorrow. I have a hard time reaching out for support, but I do think it's important, so I'm pushing myself. My wife is very supportive- she's normal weight- but other than that I don't really have many other supports for this. Have either of you had any challenges related to being gay within the medical establishments?

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[Sandi73 15]

How did your appointment go Chae?

Hi Tiney. I was surprised about the LGBT forum as well. It seems pretty dead, but at least it's here. I have only told two of my friends and am single, so I don't have much support either. I just started this process, so I don't have any idea when or if my surgery will be scheduled. I'm currently stressed about coming up with my deductible and OOP expense that they require I pay upfront. It's much more upfront than I had hoped.

I haven't had any problem so far with the medical establishment with regard to being a lesbian, but I've spent over a decade having problems being obese in the LGBT community. I've had many harsh judgements and comments made to me by perfect strangers as well as by people I know concerning my size while socializing in LGBT venues. I've also found that despite the fact that I am well-educated, creative, and generally a thoughtful person, that other lesbian women judge me to the point of exclusion. I've been told directly to my face by a woman who absolutely loved my personality that she could never date me because of my size alone. She continued to tell me about how much of an amazing connection she felt to me for a few years, but never once considered rethinking her stance. While I have certainly dated and had relationships, I find it very difficult to get my foot in the door so to speak because of weight judgements. The last time that I went out to a gay bar, someone wrote "fat bitch" on my car window in black marker. If I had done anything remotely rude, I could understand, but I am very aware of my surroundings and ensure that I am polite and don't negatively affect those around me. I have manners. Honestly, I've been more hurt and mistreated based on weight than I ever have been based on sexual orientation. Those are only a couple examples of many.

I'm sure you are very excited about your surgery date coming up soon. I haven't been on this app long at all, but there is a massive amount of good info here. I would love to hear how your surgery goes. Keep us posted.

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[tineybeenie 3]

Sandi- it makes me so sad and angry to think about how you have been treated in the LGBT community. I'm often really frustrated by the judgmental nature of the queer/progressive movement. How can we ask anyone to treat us with kindness and respect if we don't show the same to each other? Anyway, I'd love to have a few people to talk through during this journey.

Where are to from? I love in northern Kentucky- right outside of Cincinnati. Today I had my pre-admission testing at the hospital and now I'm waiting for an appointment/class at the clinic about what to expect, pain management, etc.

What's an OOP? What insurance do you have?

[tineybeenie 3]

Ha! Not sure why it censored that word. Rhymes with beer- another word for LGBT-lol

[Sandi73 15]

I live just outside of KCMO. I've been to Kentucky once. I can't imagine being able to comfortably be out there after that one visit, but maybe different areas of Kentucky are more progressive.

It sounds like you are well-prepared for your procedure. That's so exciting! OOP is out of pocket. My insurance has a deductible and an OOP, so my surgery will be quite expensive. I also need a hysterectomy, so my hope is that I can get both this year to meet the OOP max, but I have to be able to come up with the money first.

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I have Cigna.

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[Chaelove0810 61]

How did your appointment go Chae?

Hi Tiney. I was surprised about the LGBT forum as well. It seems pretty dead, but at least it's here. I have only told two of my friends and am single, so I don't have much support either. I just started this process, so I don't have any idea when or if my surgery will be scheduled. I'm currently stressed about coming up with my deductible and OOP expense that they require I pay upfront. It's much more upfront than I had hoped.

I haven't had any problem so far with the medical establishment with regard to being a lesbian, but I've spent over a decade having problems being obese in the LGBT community. I've had many harsh judgements and comments made to me by perfect strangers as well as by people I know concerning my size while socializing in LGBT venues. I've also found that despite the fact that I am well-educated, creative, and generally a thoughtful person, that other lesbian women judge me to the point of exclusion. I've been told directly to my face by a woman who absolutely loved my personality that she could never date me because of my size alone. She continued to tell me about how much of an amazing connection she felt to me for a few years, but never once considered rethinking her stance. While I have certainly dated and had relationships, I find it very difficult to get my foot in the door so to speak because of weight judgements. The last time that I went out to a gay bar, someone wrote "fat b***h" on my car window in black marker. If I had done anything remotely rude, I could understand, but I am very aware of my surroundings and ensure that I am polite and don't negatively affect those around me. I have manners. Honestly, I've been more hurt and mistreated based on weight than I ever have been based on sexual orientation. Those are only a couple examples of many.

I'm sure you are very excited about your surgery date coming up soon. I haven't been on this app long at all, but there is a massive amount of good info here. I would love to hear how your surgery goes. Keep us posted.

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It went good !!! Dr fang said he thinks I'm a great candidate for the sleeve ! My patient advocate called me today and told me the steps I need to take to get to the surgery shr is aiming for may/June so I hope all goes well !! I'm excited !!

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[Sandi73 15]

That's wonderful!! It's great that your insurance doesn't require you to wait. What are you looking forward to doing after the 100 lbs are gone?

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[Chaelove0810 61]

Lol wearing a crop top !!! Lol I've always felt like my face doesn't match my body since I gave birth to my daughter so I want to gain that confidence back hby

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[KATEJ71 36]

How did your appointment go Chae?

Hi Tiney. I was surprised about the LGBT forum as well. It seems pretty dead, but at least it's here. I have only told two of my friends and am single, so I don't have much support either. I just started this process, so I don't have any idea when or if my surgery will be scheduled. I'm currently stressed about coming up with my deductible and OOP expense that they require I pay upfront. It's much more upfront than I had hoped.

I haven't had any problem so far with the medical establishment with regard to being a lesbian, but I've spent over a decade having problems being obese in the LGBT community. I've had many harsh judgements and comments made to me by perfect strangers as well as by people I know concerning my size while socializing in LGBT venues. I've also found that despite the fact that I am well-educated, creative, and generally a thoughtful person, that other lesbian women judge me to the point of exclusion. I've been told directly to my face by a woman who absolutely loved my personality that she could never date me because of my size alone. She continued to tell me about how much of an amazing connection she felt to me for a few years, but never once considered rethinking her stance. While I have certainly dated and had relationships, I find it very difficult to get my foot in the door so to speak because of weight judgements. The last time that I went out to a gay bar, someone wrote "fat b***h" on my car window in black marker. If I had done anything remotely rude, I could understand, but I am very aware of my surroundings and ensure that I am polite and don't negatively affect those around me. I have manners. Honestly, I've been more hurt and mistreated based on weight than I ever have been based on sexual orientation. Those are only a couple examples of many.

I'm sure you are very excited about your surgery date coming up soon. I haven't been on this app long at all, but there is a massive amount of good info here. I would love to hear how your surgery goes. Keep us posted.

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"...I've been told directly to my face by a woman who absolutely loved my personality that she could never date me because of my size alone. She continued to tell me about how much of an amazing connection she felt to me for a few years, but never once considered rethinking her stance."

@@Sandi73, I seriously hope you kicked that judgmental ****** to the curb...no one needs that kind of passive-aggressive negativity...(like oh, you COULD have a relationship with ME if only YOU looked a CERTAIN way)...pffft, who is this chick, the Gods gift to women? There's no reason you should stop yourself from looking...the right person is out there...trust me, if I could find someone...so can you...and that person should love you no matter what you look like...I mean, you can be skinny all you want and still be ugly (case in point).

Edited April 12, 2016 by KATEJ71

[Barbara Doyle 22]

Hi I'm from Ireland I had my Sleeve done on August 24th 2015.. I have lost 73 pounds. I wish you all the best of Irish luck ????

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