Utterly Devastated

[NanaRenan 0]

Despite my anxiety attacks yesterday, I was sleeping well when hubby's pager went off at 4 AM this morning. No biggie that I couldn't go back to sleep. And even better when I got the call to come immediately, surgeries scheduled ahead of me had been cancelled. Yippee!

I get there, get gowned up, IV inserted, blood draw, X-rays done, etc., etc., etc. Literally about 5 minutes out of OR they find an important test was not performed months ago and the cardiologist is out of town until next week.

So I'm told to get dressed and go home.

I've cried myself dry of tears several time today. I know that "all things work together for good to them that love God", and I'm sure I'll look back and see things differently, but I'm just so sad right now.

And its one of those things everyone around has no clue about. I think they feel like someone cancelled Christmas on a child. But its so much more than that.

I feel like I was drowning in the middle of the ocean and for a week I had hold of a rope that was going to save me, but today that rope got snatched away and the boat sailed off and I don't know when it's coming back around again.

The good news is, I didn't do what I WANTED to do with that sort of misery....

:hungry:

Instead I drowned my sorrows in a vanilla Diet Coke and cried myself to sleep. **sigh**

Anyone experience this happening?

[KariK 0]

Aww sorry Nana, I feel so bad for you. It'll happen though. Thank goodness you have faith. Hang in there woman, Ill say a prayer for ya.

[SchexyMomma 0]

I feel for ya! I guess that I would suggest using this time to better prepare yourself... you'll be 100% ready by the next surgery date without all of the anxiety and that will help you so much for the big day.

Try to look on the bright side- but I know that isn't easy. Pray about what God wants you to be doing right now. Pray for peace about the operation.

Get yourself busy with projects that you won't feel like doing right after surgery (clean out garage, closets, etc. maybe). Remember that we do things according to His plan, not ours.

oh, and one more thing.... where do you find Vanilla Diet Coke???!!! I would pay BIG MONEY for just one more of those!

[METALBAND 0]

That is terrible!! Things do happen for a reason???? good for you to not turn to food, that means you are so ready for your new life, its as if you passed the test.

Good luck, I hope band land comes soon,

Maureen

[NanaRenan 0]

Thanks, Schexy! You are right about everything!

oh, and one more thing.... where do you find Vanilla Diet Coke???!!! I would pay BIG MONEY for just one more of those!

LOL

Well, I'm blessed to be surrounded by Sonic Drive-Ins where I live. They're are the best, but their Vanilla Syrup isn't sugar free, so its my big indulgence.

At home, and at night, I make my own with Diet Caffeine-Free Coke and sugar free Vanilla Syrup I get on the coffee aisle at the supermarket. I even buy bags of the crushed ice from Sonic and will recycle their big styrofoam cups for days!!

Tho'd I'd had my last one -- possibly EVER -- yesterday! But it was the first thing I said to hubby when we schelpped to the car -- me in tears -- this morning!

""TAKE ME TO SONIC!""

[beachgirl 2]

Oh, I am so sorry. That has to be very disheartning. Try to think on the bright side that maybe something was just now ready to be done and maybe in a week or two this will all be over. Good things come to those that wait and you will get there this is just one of those things in the middle of the road. My prayers are with you and I pray that your wait will be short. Keep your chin up.