Maybe I should just get more cats....

RILEYSMOM22 · March 8, 2016

Online dating has been an adventure. I recently thought I had met someone truly compatible. After 2 months, he tells me (in a text, btw) that he thinks we should both move on. None of the reasons he gave made sense and I could tell he was holding something back. Finally, he typed the words "I have never been with a heavy woman." I was stunned as we had been intimate several times and he commented that it was the best ever in his life, etc. I have lost 15 lbs since we started dating and 82 lbs total. He knows about my surgery and that I am shrinking. While I know I will get over this, I feel defeated and frustrated.

Valentina · March 8, 2016

So, here's the plan:

I have a flashlight and a shovel...

Kindle · March 8, 2016

5 gallon buckets and lye works better.....leaves no trace. And that comes directly from a police investigator!

BTW, I have three cats and a good supply of batteries. Couldn't be happier.

gowalking · March 8, 2016

when they know your vulnerable areas, they go for 'em. if it wasn't the weight, it would have been something else. they do what they need to in order to make sure it's over...even if it's very hurtful. it happened to me a long time ago...when I wasn't even that heavy. he just knew I was self conscious about the fact that I wasn't thin and he used it to end the relationship. I was probably 25 lbs. heavier than I am now...so I wasn't more than a bit 'fluffy'. try to shrug it off...and don't let the next guy know so much about this part of your life. ...at least not till you're more than a couple of months into the relationship.

OKCPirate · March 8, 2016

So, here's the plan:

I have a flashlight and a shovel...

Damn what is it with you WLS women and violence...This is the third post I've seen like this.

OK,@@RILEYSMOM22, to the problem at hand. <ehm>

The guy was a jerk. Probably still had mommy issues. Be thankful you found out now al beit awkwardly. But be thankful you found out.

NOW, the good news. You are going to be a real hottie soon. How do I know? Because I was a 52 year old male version last year.

<Ahem> you will also be experiencing the hormone dump that comes with serious quick weight loss. Yes I know, this is coming from a guy, but PLEASE listen...what this means is you want to jump the damn parking meter soon. It's not your fault. Its not rational. It's just the way it is. Not making judgments, but please do not make any long term relationship decision during the next six months.

I am not particularly proud of the December through April of last year in my life. Yes it was a great deal of fun, and I am glad there were no long term consequences, but I have come to grips with the reality that I wasn't fully myself during that time.

Please do not do anything completely stupid during this time. But dang I wish I had that same rush with my hopefully last girlfriend...It's powerful stuff. (enjoy it) ;-)

crazygoose · March 8, 2016

I am so sorry this happened to you but I believe the problem is with him and not with you. He sounds like a jerk and a coward and it really irks me that he commented on your weight while breaking up with you, sounds like he was trying to make you feel insecure and bad about yourself like gowalking says and I don't know you but I have this feeling that the break up wasn't really about your weight. You need to know that you are a beautiful quality person fat or skinny and deserve way better than that. I don't have much dating experience myself but I believe that sometimes people have to kiss a lot of frogs to get to their prince and he was just a frog. Be glad that his true colors showed and he hopped back into the pond, you don't need someone so shallow and obtuse in your life. Don't be afraid to take a chance with someone else, just be careful and a little more guarded and maybe take things slower next time so you can get to know what kind of person they really are before you start investing romantic feelings. In the mean time until you get ready to pucker up to another frog or potential prince take some time to build yourself up, love yourself for the way you are regardless and not just what you could be and don't be afraid to raise the bar a bit when it comes to the type of partner you want.

Edited March 8, 2016 by crazygoose

CowgirlJane · March 8, 2016

Of course that was hurtful - it sucks and most likely was his own issues and weirdness. Most relationships DON'T work out,so I wouldn't put much stock in his"reasons". Wouldn't even blame him..Thank goodness he and his issues are gone for good.

Hey, an ex boyfriend wanted me back...why? Well, because I am not an insane pathological liar. Wow, that makes a girl feel like she is really valued. Actually it was great because recently I was told I wasn't someone's usual type. Asked what was meant and he said "i always find crazy redheads, only i don't realize they are crazy until it's too late" since I knew sanity is one of top attributes it was easy for me to say "you will find me boringly responsible and ordinary- sorry". This man is pursuing me pretty carefully so hmmm...

You just keep being you. Focus on your own awesome self because whether single or coupled, life satisfaction comes from within... and maybe a lucky ma n will figure that out about your awesomeness and want to be a part of it. If not, well, you've got your awesomeness and a happy life!

I just haven't figured out how to have that amazing sexlife with my new found wisdom..lol. I simply cannot do another 3-4 month relationship...done a couple now and am over that.