I have so much on my mind.....

[DeletedMember 715]

Ok, here goes. I am generally an extremely private individual, who normally doesn't like to share my personal business broadly, but when it comes to WLS, I just need to be able to talk to other people who are going through the same thing. I am most definitely NOT a group therapy/support kind of guy (the thought mortifies me). Thankfully, this site allows me to hear from other people, in an environment that is safe and comfortable for me. I have been lurking here on almost a daily basis for the last four weeks, and finally created an account. I have a feeling this may end up being a long post, so I appreciate you hearing me out.

First, my story. Like many, I have been overweight for most of my life. I have yo-yo dieted almost continually. I consider myself a semi-professional at losing weight, but am a complete failure at keeping it off (again, I know that is typical). I have high blood pressure and I need 3 of my joints replaced (two knees and my left hip), which causes me a significant amount of constant pain. However, given my age (42) and my weight, no surgeon wants to operate on me given the risk of complications and needed revisions.

I have finally come to the realization that I need help. I will never beat this on my own. I went to see Dr. Weiner on 2/9, and things have progressed VERY quickly since then. I weighed in at 333, and was asked to try and lose 25 pounds prior to surgery, beginning with his Pound of Cure diet, followed by a Protein Shake and green veggie only diet for the 2-weeks pre-op. Then came the Psych eval, Surgical Clearance/Letter of Medical Necessity from my PCP, and an endoscopy. All went well. Given my BMI was over 50, BCBS of MI automatically covers with no formal approvals needed (lucky, I know).

I have done very well on my diet, losing 30 pounds in ~4 weeks. I started my liquid diet today (this is going to be a heck of a ride), and am scheduled for surgery on March 21st (2 weeks from today).

I'm really nervous. I know I need this, and I know it will provide me the help I need to finally (FINALLY!) get to a healthy weight that will allow me to correct my joint issues, but also enhance my overall health, and allow me to do the activities with my kids that I have often not been able to do. Not to mention, hopefully be around for them for a much longer time. But I'm nervous about the surgery itself, the pain post-surgery (I am a completely wimp with an incredibly low pain tolerance), possible complications, and dumping (really, really worried about dumping). And finally, I am worried about regain. I know I can be committed to a plan, as I always am. Until I'm not anymore. I am hoping more than anything that this tool gives me the help I need to not fall off the wagon, but having a 0% success rate for 30 years makes me severely doubt myself in the long run.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I don't know exactly what I'm looking for, but I just needed to get this off my chest. My family is very supportive, but I try not to talk too much about my diet/surgery, because I don't want to be "that guy", I don't want them to get sick of hearing about it before I've even had the surgery. And, of course, they can't truly relate. My children are at very healthy weights, and while my wife is also obese, not nearly to the extent that I am. She has also never seriously dieted in her life, let alone considered surgery.

Thank again for reading, and thanks for all of the incredible information I've gained from this site over the last month.

[Djmohr 6,965]

@

Welcome and congratulations on making the decision to get healthy! You have done terrific on your pre op diet.

What your are feeling right now is perfectly normal. What helped me get through it was 2 things.

1. Constantly thinking about why I made this choice. For me, I was sick with many comorbitities but also very severe arthritis. My body was breaking down literally.

2. Focusing on 1 step/day at a time which clearly you are. Don't fret about all the possibilities of what could go wrong.

I know you are worried about dumping, but don't. Only 30% of people get it and if you do you figure out very quickly what not to do.

In terms of post op pain, tell your doctor that you are worried about this and he will make sure that they give you proper pain control.

The worst part of the surgery is the stupid gas they use in your belly. The best thing you can do for that is walk, sip Water and use a heating pad. It only lasts a few days. Just remember that the pain really can be controlled.

As far as complications go. Try not to focus on this at all. Why worry about something that hasn't happened yet. Back to point number 2, take it one step at a time.

I am very happy for you. If you have a similar experience to mine, you will realize this is the best decision you ever made for yourself!

I am literally 1lb from goal. I no longer have pain in my knees and ankles. You are quite young which means maybe you catch this before it does worse damage to your joints.

I say this all the time, my only regret is not doing this sooner! I am 52 and for me the joint damage is done.

The best of luck to you and feel free to reach out with questions.

[peaceout 273]

Welcome!

I think it's completely normal to feel a little overwhelmed and have lots of thoughts swirling around in your mind right before surgery. Especially for those who don't have to do the 6-month or longer insurance requirements, things can move along at a crazy pace. Your fears/concerns are legitimate, but keep looking around on here and I think you'll see that while there certainly are people who have complications, most of them say they'd have the surgery again in a heartbeat. And you've got lots of success stories from vets who prove that unlike things they'd tried previously, they are doing well at the maintenance thing this time around.

Good luck with your surgery. I wish you nothing but the best!

[lisacaron 5,075]

@ let me commend you for coming here and posting your story. There are many people on the site who are like yourself, they are prepping for surgery and hoping to change their lives and they are too scared to reach out. You have taken a very big step in reaching out to your bariatric family here and sharing your feelings.

You don't have to worry about being that guy here because we are all that guy and that gal here. We are all here for each other and to support and help each other along the way. Each of our stories and journeys are very different. We may each experience similar things along the road but we are all going to relate and experience them differently.

Reading one persons journey can help another person who might have fear of something like for instance yours with dumping and it may help them to the point that they never experience it, or they may be able to relate to another who is also experiencing a similar issue.

My husband and I found ourselves in similar situation a few years ago. My hubs was facing a total hip replacement and he was so overweight the doctor told him right to his face I won't touch you, there is a bariatric surgeon in the building make an appointment with him and lose the weight! My husband was devastated and mortified that he was that obese that this doctor had the gall to say something like that to him. It was a wake up call, a big slap in the face kind of wake up call. At 46 he was over 300 pounds and 5'6". Of course I myself was overweight and together eating and sneaking "snacks" together at night was our shared habit.

That same day after we left that orthopedic surgeon's office we made an appointment to see a bariatric doctor together and we scheduled our surgery dates and did our pre-op diets together. We had surgery 3 days apart. We are both lapband patients, and I have to tell you that even though all of that is similar and sounds awesome...his journey is his and mine is mine. We experience it differently. He does not have the issues I do and I don't have his. We work together on our mindset and eating habits and sometimes it works in sync and other times it doesn't.

I will say this, he is 2 years post hip replacement and feeling about 15 years younger!!! So I know you can do this and your going to be so happy that you did!! Your wife might just join you in trying to lose some weight as she sees you working on your goals and if she doesn't...that's OK too. We each get there in our own time.

I wish you all the best of luck and know that you can come here for support any time you need it

[DeletedMember 715]

Thanks @djmohr. I am cautiously optimistic that I will have reduced pain from the weight loss, but unfortunately, those three joints are shot, and they need to be replaced (although, the weight loss could help me put it off a few more years). I also have arthritis in my right hip, which I am hopeful could be slowed/stopped with the loss.

[DeletedMember 715]

@lisacaron Thanks, it was actually my orthopedic for my hip that gave me the final push I needed to go see a bariatric surgeon. Like many obese patients, every doctor I see tells me to lose weight (none seem to offer a lot of support, options, or advice other than to inform me that I'm fat and need to lose weight).

This doctor however, sat down and had a very kind, but honest discussion with me. He told me that the reality was that I would most likely never lose this weight by myself, and that it had little to do with my desire or will-power, it was just how the body worked. However, I had to take the weight off. If I didn't, I was headed towards full disability, and he didn't think it was very far off. He suggested I contact my PCP and get a referral and just go talk to someone about my options.

That did it. I think the compassion he showed me allowed me to drop my defenses and listen. I received several options for surgeons from my PCP, and I started watching Dr. Weiner's videos. I immediately liked him, and what he was saying resonated with me. I've been very pleased with my experiences with everyone involved so far (my PCP has been great, the psychologist I met with was great, and the hospital coordination program has been really good as well).

While I have told very, very few people outside of my immediate family (in fact, 2). Everyone has been super supportive, much more so than I anticipated in fact. I think my family is actually relieved to see me taking this step.

[mngreeneyes 674]

Good for you for taking control of this part of your life. It is a lifestyle change. I am only 3.5 months into the change, but already can so amazing changes to my life.

I have/had many of your same fears before my surgery. I had never had more than stitches when I was about 5 until the day I had my WLS surgery. I was so terrified of the post-op pain that I gave up my MUCH beloved Diet Coke addiction in July before my November surgery so I wouldn't have to deal with caffeine withdrawal too! I did the old "prepare for the worst, hope for the best" routine. I knew all of what could happen and tried to put a positive spin on all possible outcomes before I checked in to the hospital. As it turned out, I had almost no problems/complications from the surgery and I healed very quickly.

I also was fairly active before surgery and started walking within a few hours of waking up from surgery. Again, I was so afraid of the gas pain that as soon as I was fully awake I was begging the nurses to let me walk! I am a planner and had planned out ahead of time my exercise goals. I walked my first 5k (3.1 miles) less than a month after surgery and walked another on New Year's Day. I will run my first 5K on April 9th and do a super sprint triathlon in August.

I know you have mobility issues that I don't have (I decided to have surgery when I started to have issues with my knees- those issues are gone already), but you can still have a plan. Join a gym with a pool and start working out in the Water. Water walking/jogging, water aerobics, etc. are amazing ways to move without as much pain on your joints and can be solitary or group activities. Bike riding is another option that puts less stress on the knees, although I am not sure how it would be on your hip.

As for gaining the weight back, I am still a newbie and can't speak about maintenance, but I believe in the plan. Low carb, drinking water, no food with drinks, eat slower, lots of Protein. If I start to gain, I know that going straight back to the plan should help get things under control.

On the eat slower front, I highly recommend the app Eat Slower. I know I found it for my iPhone and not sure about other platforms. When I was first working on learning to eat slower, I used the app and when I catch myself not being mindful when I eat, I pull it out again. It tells you when you can take a bite! It times out 90 seconds between bites.

Good luck with your upcoming surgery. Keep us posted on how it goes. You will find the people here are really great at empathy and advice.

pam

[needtorecover 574]

Welcome, and good luck! Like others have already said, your fears and concerns are totally normal. You're making a very positive change in your life and health and WLS really is a game-changer for those of us who have tried losing weight but have failed at keeping it off time and time again. The success rate of WLS is much greater than diet/exercise alone. Even if your joints are shot, you will still feel an improvement in pain and you'll recover much faster after your joint replacement surgeries. My dad had a double knee replacement and he's able to do all the stuff he used to do when he was younger!

[James Marusek 5,244]

Welcome and good luck on your surgery. First things first. Make sure you take a good before photograph of yourself so you can compare it with the after photograph. Often times when we lose weight we fail to appreciate the amount of weight that we lose. Here is mine. I tried to take it using the exact same pose, so it is a good comparison. http://www.breadandbutterscience.com/Operation.jpg

This was at the 6 month post-op mark. I have lost another 20 pounds since then.

[katanne 215]

Welcome! You are thinking so many of the things I've thought - I think most of us here can relate. When I think about my fears, I try to think about how many of the other people on this site have handled their surgeries just fine. So many here are doing so well with weight loss and improved quality of life that I have a lot of excitement about the process to balance out my apprehensions.

[JamieLogical 8,708]

Welcome! All of the emotions you expressed in your original post are completely normal. Though they are definitely the kind of thing that only other WLS patients can understand. It sounds to me like you have made a great decision for yourself and you have the right attitude to be successful long-term. Like you, I was a pro at losing weight. I used to joke that if weight loss was an Olympic sport, I'd have multiple gold medals. Maintenance was a whole other story. I think my main problem was that weight loss was always a "diet". I always thought of it as something temporary and that I would eventually be "done". So as soon as I was "done", I went right back to my old lifestyle and regained all the weight. The great thing about WLS, is it's not a temporary phase. It will never be "done". Your sleeve or pouch is forever! Once you make that switch in mentality, maintenance becomes much less of an issue. I had sleeve, not bypass, but I reached my goal weight just before my one year mark and I have been maintaining for the past 6 months.

Through that six months I have experienced many of the types of life stresses that would have thrown me off track in the past. Yet I have managed to get through them and not regain the weight. It's been amazing!

[Roalmc77 61]

I'm also March 23rd, bypass, a bit heavier, 440 and a bit younger, 38. I have a 10 day pre op mostly liquid diet. If you want someone to just keep track with let me know. I don't have the same mobility challenges, just sleep apnea at the moment.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

[DeletedMember 715]

I'm also March 23rd, bypass, a bit heavier, 440 and a bit younger, 38. I have a 10 day pre op mostly liquid diet. If you want someone to just keep track with let me know. I don't have the same mobility challenges, just sleep apnea at the moment.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

Definitely. It will be great to follow along with someone who is on the same timeline as I am. Especially this liquid diet. I can tell already at 1:43pm on the first day, this is going to be a LONG two weeks! On the other hand, I kind of look at it as a right of passage for undergoing WLS. And will be one heck of an accomplishment looking back.

[Roalmc77 61]

Well 440 was my highest 413 currently been on my own diet since january. Luckily my preop diet is a few more days away, although I'm already half doing it. Hopefully my tastes stay similar as I don't mind premier Protein shakes (except chocolate I have never really liked chocolate anything.) I like greek yogurt, cottage cheese. Call me crazy but I'm actually tempted to start the diet tommorrow. I just so want to be part of the process. Mar 23rd can't come soon enough.

Sent from my SM-G920V using the BariatricPal App

[DeletedMember 715]

Call me crazy but I'm actually tempted to start the diet tommorrow. I just so want to be part of the process. Mar 23rd can't come soon enough.

Yeah, you're definitely crazy! Ha. Actually, I totally understand, it's like I was saying about a right of passage. I have such strong feelings about March 21st. On one hand, I want it to be here so I can start the next phase of my life. On the other hand, I'm a bit terrified. I'm also just fascinated to see how much weight is lost after 14 days of Protein shakes and green veggies.