Here is the truth about the band

[Betsyjane 2]

I've been away, just returning to this thread. If the OP is still out there, I am so happy for you. You've gone from miserable to successful with a slight unfill, and that's great. Very cool correction.

VanCouver Girl: I felt smarter than the average bear before I was banded too. When you live it, you may find that it's a bit more complex, no matter how much you've studied it. Some of the changes you feel or that are needed are subtle ones, like with the OP needing a slight unfill. Please know that we're on this journey together, and the academic learning is different from the experiential, so it takes awhile to get the hang of it!

[vancouvergirl74 0]

DOCSDEB I find it very interesting that someone can say to you, "Grow some balls!" and you would be ok with that. This is a forever life changing decision that can not be taken lightly. That is not tough love that is abuse. Now everyone is clapping because you lost weight and decided on the lap band, but let's not forget how rude they were to you by telling you to get a psych evaluation. Telling you to get a psych evaluation is insulting; not uplifting.

(I know I can not speak for and about everybody…)

In some situations people have been an outcast and don't feel apart of anything, but now they are part of a group here (which is very good.)

However, I have noticed that it seems that no one stands up and says that telling DOCSDEB to “grow some balls in wrong...and yeah I am on your side.” Nope what you said is, "this is tough love.”

Personally, I find a lot of useful information on this web site, but I just wanted to stand up and say quit being bullies. If someone doesn't post exactly the right way you guys jump on them. Just like some people did with DOCSDEB.

So I am standing up and saying shame on you. For jumping in and saying to the OP "well that NEVER happened to me and you should NEVER speak for ALL of us!" I am standing up and saying shame on you for telling DOCSDEB to get psych consult and grow balls. That doesn't sound supportive and nurturing to me. Now I know this is not ALL of the posts and people out in band-land, but if it strikes a cord with you and your name is on the post the that contains the information that I am referring to then I am talking to you.

I am a big girl and I can take your insults in stride. I don't hide in the corner, or cry myself to sleep. I know someone will call me a bully because they don’t like what I have to say, or I was too harsh; that is ok. I am not trying to be I am simply bringing it to your attention that what I read wasn’t kind by some of the posters. Another thing in one of the very first postings the intelligence of the OP was mentioned and I feel honoured that my intelligence has been questioned also, as I feel I am in good company.

So to you DOCSDEB I wish you the greatest success in life and in your weight loss. I hope no one ever tells you to grow balls again, as it is an insult and you deserve to be treated better than that, and hopefully you won’t need a security blanket that has so many holes in it.

Now I am not going to post on this subject again because I don’t believe in beating a dead horse. If you would like to discuss this further with me feel free to message me. Thank you for your reading my replies and I hope you understand that I clearly was not implying that ALL of you posted negatively to the OP, (but some of you did.)

[want2beme 2]

Screw TIVO! This is my new entertainment! This thread is AWESOME! It's like a freakin' soap opera! I LOVE IT!

Keep up the good work.... especially V-girl. You got it goin' on!

********************************************

[want2beme 2]

In accordance with all bariatric recommendations and guidelines for weight loss surgery, all potential patients are required to have a psychiatric evaluation prior to surgery. This may be completed by a psychologist or psychiatrist. Generally, the evaluation takes about 1 hour to complete.

The evaluation is used to:

• Assist in the diagnosis, treatment, or management of a patient's possible mental disorder or behavioral problem.
  
• Determine competency in deciding to proceed with LapBand® surgery.
  
• Determine if there is a history or dependency on drugs or alcohol.
  
• Determine if there is a history of psychiatric illness.
  
• Demonstrate the willingness of the psychologist/psychiatrist to follow and treat the patient in the postoperative period if it becomes necessary.
  
• Determine the patient's ability to handle stress during the period that follows surgery.
  
• Determine the patient's commitment/willingness to follow postoperative protocols.

[gadgetlady 4]

If someone doesn't post exactly the right way you guys jump on them.

I think you are a bit guilty of what you are accusing others of. For example:

Thank you for your reading my replies and I hope you understand that I clearly was not implying that ALL of you posted negatively to the OP, (but some of you did.)

and yet here you DID imply that everyone posted negatively.

It is almost 8 pages of people going off on this poor lady. Alright so she didn't have her wording right, so she was having a rough day, but come on did you all have to swarm in and beat her up?

I was disappointed by your rudeness and your tone, when it takes 8 pages to make your point you have gone too far.

(emphasis added)

No one person made up the 8 pages of posts, so the implication is that all were beating her up. Now far be it for me to have a problem when someone doesn't post "exactly" the right way, but because you brought it up, you should know that you didn't post "exactly" the right way either.

And finally, while we're on the subject of communicating properly, I submit that that was the entire problem with the OP.

So I am standing up and saying shame on you. For jumping in and saying to the OP "well that NEVER happened to me and you should NEVER speak for ALL of us!"

The original post implied that the OP's experience was universal and "the truth". If the OP had simply said, "This is what I'm going through", rather than "This is the truth about the band" (coupled with a dramatic account of spending close to 24/7 over a toilet), responses would have been different.

[docsdeb 0]

Vgilr74, if you had read my post correctly you would have seen it was the op that suggested I grow the balls. I agree this nonsense could go on and on and just turn in to a pissing contest and want no part of it. So lets just let it go. But one more thing, want2beme, how sad is it when you actually encourage animosity on a place like this??? Me thinks someone other than me needs the psych couch??? You acutally replied to one of my posts that I should and I quote " have your band removed and get the gastric bypass since it seems to fit your lifestyle better" Huh?? I haven't even been banded yet.

Again this board is about support and help for those of us banded and yet to be banded. Let's try to keep it that way and stop all the bashing.

[Betsyjane 2]

I wasn't required to have a psych exam, and the other self pay people I know were also not required. My sense is that it is more an insurance company requirement.

Bullying breeds bullying. Hostility breeds hostility. Let's just stop. Or move the thread to Rants and Raves. Just whne this thread starts to settle down, someone new finds it and wants to stir it up again. Let's just stop. It's time for this thread to fade away. Bye.

[alysedg23 0]

Vancouver girl.........YOU ROCK!!! I knew I loved Canada for a reason, you guys really are smarter than Americans.

yes, I was venting, and you were the only one smart enough to figure it out. Unfortunately, I cant elaborate anymore right now because I am running out the door, but OMG...

YOU ARE THE BEST>....perhaps some of you experienced bandsters can get off your high horse and start learning from others on this site.....THIS GIRL gets it...

[Mammysm 10]

Hello All

Been reading all the posts. I was banded in Dec, 2006. I have had maybe 3 fills, Had a lot of restriction and have thrown up alot. The last fill I got at the end of August with somewhat of restriction. But then a week later, my Dad passed away , and I kept getting sicker and sicker. with so much throwing up that I could not keep anything down. I was not near my doctors. so my brother and sister in law insisted that I go to the ER which they took me too. they first wanted to know if I had the flu, and I said I assure you that it is not the flu. At any rate , they called in the specialist in that area who does the lapbands. They were going to do a barium swallow, and then when the doctor came in, he decided not to. He asked me what size band I had, didn't know and how much exactly was in the band, didn't know. He said that I should have a card to tell me that. which I didn't have. Anyhow he injected the needle into the port and removed all the saline. I was a bit upset because that was my saline, thought that maybe he would take just a little to relieve the band but he took it all. And told me that I shouldn't be sick like that. and that he thought I should give my stomach a rest,. WHich I am. He told me to contact my doctor when I got home, which I did but my doctor was on vacation so they did call me back this week, Anyhow have not been sick since the saline was removed. Felt so much better. not sure if the stress added to the tightness or not. But now I am scared because I feel very very little restriction and that is scaring me. I don't want to be sick but also don't want to eat bad. I have lost apporoximately 43 lbs since the surgery which is not nearly enough. And as I read here , the sweets are the things that go down easier and that is what I turn to, big mistake.Please someone write to me. I see the doctor on tues and not sure what the verdict will be. I am so worried that this band is not going to work for me, almost wish I had had the gastric bypass. ANyhow that is my story for now. Donna in NH

[pmmegm 0]

Vancouver girl.........YOU ROCK!!! I knew I loved Canada for a reason, you guys really are smarter than Americans.

yes, I was venting, and you were the only one smart enough to figure it out. Unfortunately, I cant elaborate anymore right now because I am running out the door, but OMG...

YOU ARE THE BEST>....perhaps some of you experienced bandsters can get off your high horse and start learning from others on this site.....THIS GIRL gets it...

It wasn't that you were just venting though. You were unkind and actually scared newbies into thinking that what you were saying was the complete and utter truth. That is just plain irresponsible. Those who were replying were only trying to give a flip side to your accusations. You can high-five the Canadian until the cows come home, but you lack decorum and deplomacy.

[Wendell Edwards 73]

In accordance with all bariatric recommendations and guidelines for weight loss surgery, all potential patients are required to have a psychiatric evaluation prior to surgery. This may be completed by a psychologist or psychiatrist. Generally, the evaluation takes about 1 hour to complete.

The evaluation is used to:

• Assist in the diagnosis, treatment, or management of a patient's possible mental disorder or behavioral problem.
  
• Determine competency in deciding to proceed with LapBand® surgery.
  
• Determine if there is a history or dependency on drugs or alcohol.
  
• Determine if there is a history of psychiatric illness.
  
• Demonstrate the willingness of the psychologist/psychiatrist to follow and treat the patient in the postoperative period if it becomes necessary.
  
• Determine the patient's ability to handle stress during the period that follows surgery.
  
• Determine the patient's commitment/willingness to follow postoperative protocols.

I was not required to have that.

Most self-pay patients don't have that either.

[IndioGirl55 32]

Hello All

Been reading all the posts. I was banded in Dec, 2006. I have had maybe 3 fills, Had a lot of restriction and have thrown up alot. The last fill I got at the end of August with somewhat of restriction. But then a week later, my Dad passed away , and I kept getting sicker and sicker. with so much throwing up that I could not keep anything down. I was not near my doctors. so my brother and sister in law insisted that I go to the ER which they took me too. they first wanted to know if I had the flu, and I said I assure you that it is not the flu. At any rate , they called in the specialist in that area who does the lapbands. They were going to do a barium swallow, and then when the doctor came in, he decided not to. He asked me what size band I had, didn't know and how much exactly was in the band, didn't know. He said that I should have a card to tell me that. which I didn't have. Anyhow he injected the needle into the port and removed all the saline. I was a bit upset because that was my saline, thought that maybe he would take just a little to relieve the band but he took it all. And told me that I shouldn't be sick like that. and that he thought I should give my stomach a rest,. WHich I am. He told me to contact my doctor when I got home, which I did but my doctor was on vacation so they did call me back this week, Anyhow have not been sick since the saline was removed. Felt so much better. not sure if the stress added to the tightness or not. But now I am scared because I feel very very little restriction and that is scaring me. I don't want to be sick but also don't want to eat bad. I have lost apporoximately 43 lbs since the surgery which is not nearly enough. And as I read here , the sweets are the things that go down easier and that is what I turn to, big mistake.Please someone write to me. I see the doctor on tues and not sure what the verdict will be. I am so worried that this band is not going to work for me, almost wish I had had the gastric bypass. ANyhow that is my story for now. Donna in NH

Donna

I am so very sorry about the passing of your Dad - I feel your pain - I lost mine 15 yrs ago...

I dont have a card - all i know is that I have the "New Band" whatever that means - the mechanics of the band is not something i concern myself with - who cares if there is 1 cc or 2 - why would I need to keep track of that - there might be a reason - but i can't figure it out. I have enought to think about...

You are under stress right not which is going to cause emotional eating and imho is what may have cause your band to get so tight, But what ever the reason - you have no restriction and you need to get a handle on your eating until you do.. and even with restriction sweets still get through...

One way to handling emotional eating is you live & eat in the now – not being upset about what you are in the past and not obsessing about what you will eat in the future.

The very thing that’s designed to help people lose weight is the very thing that promotes this heavier – diets promote the all or nothing mentality. In our lives we allow for a margin of error – which we should also do when trying to eat healthy – if you are eating 1000-1200 calories a day – allow for some of those calories to be used for a little bit of something you really want - you need wiggle room in your diet to make it work – the all or nothing practices has to be thrown our of your mind.

You can learn to reprogram your mind to strip away the guilt that comes with dieting.

You have to realize that it’s not that the first slice of cake that will doom your diet – it’s the second or third or whole thing that leads to weight gain.

You have to listen to your body & respond smartly to your cravings and emotions but over time you will learn how to eat right and mange your craving and that’s when you’ll train your brain to stop obsessing about eating right and punishing yourself – If you stop overthinking you’ll stop over eating..

Don't worry today - take baby steps - that food is not really your friend but your addiction. Don't go back to it - it's the devil in sheeps clothing. If you really need a candy bar - go buy just one - go to your room and savor it with all your might - and tomorrow get up say hey that was good - and one candy bar isn't going to put on 43 lbs - but if you keep going out to by them - it will - don't buy them then you cant eat them

Well it's late - gotta get ready for tomorrow -

:rose::girl_hug: janet

[leedorr 0]

Donna

I am so sorry for your loss. My dad died in 1984 and I still miss him. Anyway, I do understand what you are going through. I had surgry on my foot a month ago. I got a really bad infection, couldn't even swallow Water without pain. My Doc took some Fluid out and them 4 weeks later he put some back, so now I am back on the rooad. It is not easy and I am having trouble getting back with good eting habits and my exercise routine. For me, stress does affect how much I can eat and what I can eat without pbing.

Take it easy and grieve your loss but know that carbs like candy and cakes etc are not your friends. If you do any exercise begin with walking instead of eating. You are doing great! keep up the good work!

[pmmegm 0]

Is there a chat room for folks to visit concerening these issues or is this it? I am new to this site, was banded 4 weeks ago, no fill yet. Scared to get fill. I don't have most of Alyse's problems but I do have some, the chest pains are the worse and I assume it is from eating too much or the wrong thing. I am learning as I go. I wanted to find a site to find others that can help me through this that have experience. I do want to hear the good the bad and the ugly. I am certain I made the right decision, I just need advice and support, Help, thanks. Lorraine

mrspete.........we were probably banded the same day. If you like we can compare war stories. There are very knowledgable people who post in this forum, I do not claim to be one of them, but I'd be happy to share my experiences. I can't promise anything, but I'll try to help you with your ticker! Good luck to you!

[Chrissi 0]

Well to reply to the original post... I can eat in public just fine..What I can't do is eat like a ravenous littly piggy like I did before being banded. That's why I like this band. It prevents me from being that piggy I was before. I'd rather have a band complication anyday than the complications that go along with the gastric bypass!