Trying to find the courage to start over.

[missistark 6]

Hello, this is my first time posting on BP. I am 48 years old and had my lapband in 2008. I lost almost 100 lbs over the span of a year. I kept it off for 4 years. In April of 2012 my 8 month old grandson was killed (homocide) and it really sent me into a downward spiral. I was so busy with court and keeping my family from falling to pieces that I got lost somewhere in the shuffle. I really have gotten off track and don't know how to find my way back. I pray, take my antidepressants and have finally gotten to a fairly good place emotionally. However I look in the mirror and am disgusted by all of my hard work and lifestyle change being wasted. I have an appointment for April 4th with my lapband surgeon but am terrified of going back to him. I have failed miserably by gaining most of my weight back. I really need advice from you all. I need ideas for jump-starting my weightloss so I can feel good physically and mentally. It seems like a mountain I don't know if I can climb again. Help please.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

I'm so sorry about the tragic loss of your grandson. That you spiraled off track is completely understandable and maybe even expected. There is no need to be negative about yourself. It means something important that you now want to take control again.

There's also no need to fear going back to your surgery practice. Like you, I undid most of my good work and, as soon as I get a better handle on a few other, major things that need my attention, I will make an appointment. I've always told people who've lost their way that the surgery staff has seen and heard it all before. They want us to succeed and will always welcome us with encouragement. Make the appointment, see the dietitian, have an esophagram to be check that your band is in good shape and position, have an adjustment if indicated and build a support network. Track your food and start an exercise routine.

If your practice offers a monthly support group, start attending it. If not, check with other practices in your area. Most welcome patients from the competition to their meetings.

You can do this. The proof is that you've done it before.

[missistark 6]

Thank you for your advice. I have been exercising for a week now as weather permits (I live in the mountains of West Virginia, very rural) and doing my elliptical machine for very short intervals. I have spinal arthritis so I do it a few times a day. What is the 5BDR or something like that that I have been reading about? It sounds like it may be something that I could use to begin again. I have joined this support page to encourage and be encouraged. It's hard when no one around you understands what you are doing as a bander. ???????? Takes a will to change your lifestyle forever. I walk when it's 95 degrees and when it's 9 degrees. I have dance parties for one in my kitchen just to move my body! Lol Banding is not an easy fix, but worth the journey. Love to all! Missi. ????

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[Ryan TN 348]

Welcome to the forum, it takes alot of guts to do what youve done, coming forward with your story. What an awful experience you've been thru. I can't give you much advice as to your lap band, Im a gastric sleeve pt, but did want to encourage you to see your physician about it. The nurse mentioned this very thing in my nutrition class they have people drop out from their program because they've gained some weight and too embarrassed to go back. She said please don't let that stop you from coming back. Like the above poster mentioned, they want to help you, not shame you. They've seen it all before.

Maybe you could consider a lap band to sleeve revision? There are alot of people in this forum that have had that done that can give advice.

Best of luck to you!

[missistark 6]

Well, my doctor is awesome and kind but won't hear any excuses. lol I don't feel very brave. but thank you for saying so. I have had a hard time talking about Baby Jack's death and don't want to use that as an excuse for my choices. However, it was the catalyst for knocking me out of my established routine. I am just now coming to a place in my grieving process (I didn't really get to grieve because I was so consumed with keeping my son, who had just come home from Iraq, from killing himself.) that I can start to get back to the land of the living. I want to be healthy and feel good again. I just need to know where to begin. Maybe just the basics? like low carb eating and increase my exercise gradually? I thiught about going on liquid/shake diet but I don't think I have enough will power for this right now. We use to live around Nashville, Tn where are you?

[Ryan TN 348]

I am in the Knoxville, tn area. Do you have a myfitnesspal account and app? Start tracking what you eat would be a great first step. There is nothing you can do to undo some of the choices you've made in the past, the only thing you can do have control of is your future choices, your Dr should understand that.

[needtorecover 574]

That is a tremendously stressful and painful situation to experience - you shouldn't feel any shame in falling off the wagon. I'm sure your diet was the furthest thing from your mind when trying to hold your family together after such a horrible tragedy. Your surgeon and the staff should be very understanding.

Have you seen a therapist at all? You may need some tools to help you process the trauma completely. I know you said you're in a good place but it couldn't hurt to talk to someone experienced in counseling someone through a crisis.

I hope you find some peace and can get back on track. Don't be too hard on yourself. I can't even imagine how I'd react in that situation myself.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

What is the 5BDR or something like that that I have been reading about?

No idea what that might be. I thought you were referring to the number of bedrooms in your house. Google didn't help.

Well, my doctor is awesome and kind but won't hear any excuses. I just need to know where to begin. Maybe just the basics? like low carb eating and increase my exercise gradually? I thiught about going on liquid/shake diet but I don't think I have enough will power

You don't need to make excuses or explanations. Two things will say all that matters: Your walking through the office door and the number on the scale compared to the number the last time you were there. You're fine. Don't make a bigger thing over regaining weight than is necessary.

Restarting with a liquid diet makes no sense to me. You're not recovering from surgery, so it would feel like punishment. Making wise food choices and sticking with human amounts is the thing. Why not eat the way you did when you were losing weight so nicely? My suggestion to see the dietitian was based primarily on the idea of reconnecting with the world of weight loss and in case you needed a refresher "course" on planning meals. Take it for what it's worth.

Get 'em, Tigress.

[missistark 6]

I am seeing a psychiatrist at my VA hospital (I'm a veteran ) who has lots of experience with PTSD & anxiety attacks and he's really giving me some tools about letting the guilt etc go. Started seeing him in January and I finally feel like getting my life back. I agree about the liquid diet, set myself up for failure if I get too hungry. Lol Cleaned the carbs out of my kitchen yesterday. Nutritionist is a great idea.

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[missistark 6]

I am in the Knoxville, tn area. Do you have a myfitnesspal account and app? Start tracking what you eat would be a great first step. There is nothing you can do to undo some of the choices you've made in the past, the only thing you can do have control of is your future choices, your Dr should understand that.

I did the C2 5K before this happened and was so happy to run one. I finished dead last, but I finished! I'll look up my fitness pal and see how I can use it too. We're moving back home Tn in a year. Miss it.

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[missistark 6]

Do any of you feel guilty when you eat? Even if it's good for you?

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[Nikki D 62]

What is the 5BDR or something like that that I have been reading about? It sounds like it may be something that I could use to begin again.

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This is the 5DPT (5 day pouch test) you go on full liquids for 2 days, soft Protein then work up to ground meat and chicken. I did it and found it very helpful. While it's not always easy, it did cure my cravings for carbs and sweets. If you google it, the whole plan will come up.

I am so sorry for you loss. Wanting to change is the 1st step. Good luck! ????

[B-52 7,113]

I have to ask, during all this time . did your band change at all?

Did you get any Fluid taken out during that stressful period?

I ask only because, in my case, whatever the situation....vacation, parties, high periods and low periods, my band does not change. It is what it is.

Now if I was dieting, as I have done countless times over the years...it would not take much to throw me off the tracks...just give me a reason to backslide.

That's why I needed surgery...

Perhaps you are relying upon yourself to loose weight as opposed to the surgery...seeing you Dr. and getting the band adjusted is key IMO.

5 day pouch test...people do it for different reasons...I do a variation of it every 6 weeks or so, whenever I feel I am losing restriction (a misnomer) staying off solid foods returns things to where they were....it can't give me something I never had.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Hugs to you. Never ever ever give up on yourself. My advice is immerse yourself in the weight loss community. Post here often. Read here often. Go to WLS support meetings at various hospitals. They are usually open to everyone. Make appointments with your surgical team and keep them including the nutritionist. I also go to OA.

Best wishes and again, hugs to you!

[Ryan TN 348]

Hugs to you. Never ever ever give up on yourself. My advice is immerse yourself in the weight loss community. Post here often. Read here often. Go to WLS support meetings at various hospitals. They are usually open to everyone. Make appointments with your surgical team and keep them including the nutritionist. I also go to OA.

Best wishes and again, hugs to you!

Great advice!

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