Self sabatoge

[betterme38 275]

Has anyone started to sabotage their weightloss not on a "mean to" way but "oh I'm gonna have surgery I can have this now" way???

I noticed last night while folding laundry that my back hurt and it doesn't normally hurt since I had lost some weight I got on the scale last night and have gained close to 6lbs.

That may not be alot to some but to me a bigger woman anyway it makes a huge difference. Anyway what I'm saying or asking is does anyone else think to them selves "eat while you can" sorta thinking?

If so, how do you stop it? It's the boredom thinking and that I'm losing something I suppose but I need to get it under control now before the surgery! Help!! Any advice?

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I have no magic mantra that you can repeat to change your own behavior.

But at some point you'll have to change your behavior if you have a chance in hell of being successful long-term.

Maybe you're not miserable enough yet. But I certainly was when I was pre-op. Here's what I did.

Even before my surgery was scheduled I felt I couldn't wait any longer to get healthier and to regain some control over my out-of-control, no-responsibility behavior. So I put myself on a 1400 cals/day diet incorporating some of the WLS eating guidelines and eating behaviors I'd learned about online.

In two months I lost 11 pounds. Not fast. But I had regained some control back of my life. And by that point surgery had been scheduled. I lost another 8 pounds on my surgeon's two-week liver-shrinking diet.

By 8.5 months post-op I reached my weight goal. At the rate I was losing when I hit goal it would have taken me another 2 months to lose an additional 11 pounds, had I not done so before surgery.

Not trying to bully or guilt you, but truly -- you've decided to have WLS because your BMI is 52 and you need to get healthy.

You can postpone and postpone and postpone creating a healthier lifestyle. Or you can start now to do so.

In your shoes I'd try to get back in touch with my reasons for having WLS and meditate / focus on those. If you journal, journal. If you pray, pray. If you are in therapy, talk to your therapist. If you're not in therapy, consider seriously finding a good bariatric therapist.

Good luck to you. You can regain your health. All you have to do is work toward it every day. This IS your life. It's not a practice run. It's the only one you're going to get.

[rking 484]

@@VSGAnn2014 you freaking rock my world!!!!!!!! I love how you always just put it out there. You reached goal at 8.5 months..... Very impressive. Question for you..... During those months did you ever let yourself have a special treat? Did you stick to the plan 100%? did you work out? What amount of carbs did you have?

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I hate to sabotage @@betterme38 's "self sabotage" thread.

But to answer your question, I was pretty strict. But not perfect. Probably did 95% of what I intended to do every day.

Here's a post I made on my first surgiversary, which I posted on another message board:

* * *

A year ago yesterday I was sleeved at age 68. I knew I had the energy for one last shot at getting healthy. Like so many of us, controlling my weight was the one thing in my life I’d been unable to manage. Failing at that was a tremendous embarrassment and disappointment to me, not to mention the cause of mounting medical comorbidities that had almost sidelined me from life.

A year ago I’d already been on this forum for 9 months. I could not WAIT to get my WLS show on the road. I’d already lost almost 20 pounds on a 2-month 1,400 calorie diet of my own and, later, my surgeon’s 14-day pre-op diet. I’d been practicing for months the behaviors I’d learned here—eating slower, chewing more, no more soda, a lot less coffee, no NSAIDs (ouch!), walking more (yea, Fitbit!), and my favorite tool of all—planning meals and tracking my food and drink onwww.myfitnesspal.com.

Fast-forward to yesterday morning, my first surgiversary. I weighed in at 143 pounds. I feel great, physically and mentally. I look so much younger (I’ll be 70 years old in December). And I truly feel like I’ve been reborn.

The New, Temporary Avatar

I’m on the down-low about having had WLS. Basically, only hubby and two friends know about this. But so many online VSG friends want to know what I look like, so enjoy my new avatar while it’s up. It’s coming down soon. Tough titty.

BTW, I’ll put up a full-body shot of me later. Again, tough titty. But this morning I didn’t have on “the right outfit” to show off my skinny ass. And hubby’s not here right now to take a good photo of me.

How I Lost the Weight

I was lucky—had no complications, had a great surgeon and team, healed well and recovered fast, and have had more non-scale victories (NSVs) than you could shake a stick at. I’m full of gratitude and amazement at all of WLS’s benefits for me.

Below is a list of things I did (mostly pretty well) that led to my success. As always, your mileage may vary. This was my experience. Yours will be yours.

• Ate the minimum amount of protein—at least 60 grams to start with (hit that target on Day Five post-op)
• Ate Protein first at every meal
• Drank 8 glasses of Water daily (or at the very least 8 glasses of liquids daily)

Protip #1: Dehydration slows weight loss and makes you feel like crap.
Protip #2: Our kidneys work overtime when we’re losing weight rapidly and need lots of Water to function well.
Protip #3: You can actually die from dehydration.

• As healing happened and restriction eased, added healthy (colored) veggies, then non-starchy fruits, then whole grains
• Took my vitamins/minerals and Rxs daily and on schedule
• Ate 3 meals a day
• Chewed my food well and ate more slowly
• Didn’t drink 15 minutes before or 30 minutes after a meal
• When I got hungry (not bored), I added one or two Snacks of healthy food
• Didn’t graze between meals (note that “a snack” and “grazing” are different things)
• Avoided / minimized highly processed, high-carb foods and slider foods like potatoes, white rice, white breads, crackers, Cookies, chips, ice cream

Protip: These foods slow weight loss and, for some people, trigger binge eating.

• Moved more than I used to move and gradually kept moving even more
• Followed the Number One Exercise Rule for Old People: Don’t injure yourself!
• Got some sunshine daily, which kept me full of happy thoughts and Vitamin D
• Tried to sleep 8 hours a night
• Minimized stress—for me, this meant I stopped sweating the small stuff and learned that most stuff really is small stuff
• Am seeing a shrink, even though I’m not crazy, to understand better why I couldn’t or didn’t care for my health better prior to WLS and to learn how to do better in the future (as the saying goes, they operate on your stomach, not your head).

Unsolicited Advice:

I’ve been at or below goal for 4 months now. Here are some things I learned while losing weight and during maintenance (at which I’m still a newbie). Some of these things have surprised me. And as always, your mileage may vary.

• Don’t feel pressured into telling the world you’re having WLS. Do what is best for you. Just know that “telling a few people” may not be the best way to keep your WLS private. There are a lot of mouthy people out there.

• Don’t overeat, but don’t starve yourself either. As your healing continues, eat more healthy food and raise your calories gradually. Otherwise, you may wind up reaching your weight goal but only able to maintain it eating 1,000 calories/day. Ugh! At 143 pounds, my daily maintenance calorie budget is 1,700 calories/day. I am over the moon about that. I think it’s because I didn’t starve myself while I was losing weight. I ate 800 calories during Months 1-4, 1,000 calories during Months 5-6, and 1,200 calories during Months 7-8. As my calories went up, so did my Protein grams. I still aim for 100 grams of protein daily.

• Post-op, don’t just eat to lose weight—also eat to become healthier. Learn more about nutrition—macronutrients, trace elements, Vitamin and mineral supplements. Read articles and good research. As smart as I thought I was, turns out I didn’t know nearly as much as I needed to know to care well for myself.

• If you’re craving sugar, you’re probably already eating sugar. The only way I know to kill those cravings is to cold-turkey the sugar.

• Don’t let anyone pressure you into having WLS. This is a life-changing deal. A year down the road you’ll probably be able to eat pretty much anything you want, although not in massive quantities at one time. And you’ll need to always be vigilant about your nutrition, meal-planning, eating behaviors, etc.

• WLS won’t prevent binge-eating or emotional eating. It will discourage it, but it won’t prevent it. There are plenty of WLS patients who’ve learned to eat and drink around their tools. I personally know folks who’ve wasted their sleeve, bypass or band with (sigh) sweet tea, Mountain Dew, beer, Wheat Thins, ice cream, chips and dips. What those drinks and foods all have in common, other than being high-calorie and lacking in nutrition, is that the sleeve cannot challenge them. They move rapidly through the sleeve and into the small intestine. You can eat that crap all day long and never start to feel full. Remember, it’s a shame to waste a sleeve.

Very, very best wishes to everyone out there considering a VSG or other form of WLS. You can change your life with WLS if you use your tool well. But you must understand it’s only one tool in a bigger healthcare arsenal that you must acquire and use daily.

Thang ya. Thang ya verra mudge.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

P.S. Now, let's turn this thread back to the OP's question / topic. She deserves some more responses and other perspectives on this admittedly tough topic.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Some people have "last supper" syndrome going on where they feel like they need to eat everything NOW becuase their future life will sadly not be food centric.

It is a big shift in mindset - but i think at some point, we need to kind of "breakup" with our old relationship with food. By the time i was sleeved, I was so OVER food - I would have been happy if I could just swallow a pill for nutrients and never have to eat again, never be faced with all those choices.

Having said that - I was a hot mess and really struggled preop. I did lose 8# on the liver shrinking 2 weeks prior, but what I did before that was try to low carb, try to not gain. My BMI was also 52 and it is like my appetite had been taken over by some kind of madness. i was so hungry, physically hungry, - it was very hard.

I had the good fortune to work with a practice that understood i was deep in the the throes of a metabolic disease process, and how very hard it had become for me over time to control my intake in the context of that driving hunger. No guilt was laid on me, they knew I was very motivated. i took their preop, post op, and weight loss instructions very seriously.

It took me 14 months to lose 150# and get to goal. I made goal in Feb 2013 - so celebrating my 3 years, and still there.

You do have to accept that huge huge changes are necessary or WLS will not be successful in the long haul. However, the surgery makes that easier - and for me - possible.

I don't have the answer for you, i really don't, but this is a good time to do alot of soul searching about how much of yourself you are really willing to dedicate to the life saving effort of getting obesity under control. Don't be one of the people that just think the surgery will fix everything and then are sorely disappointed 2-5 years down the road when they have regained significant weight.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Oh, I forgot to share the good news!

i think I actually like food more now - in maintenance - now that i am not driven to eat obsessively, but eat for health and sustainance. I enjoy good flavors, high quality and don't feel like I am missing out. It is a fallacy that you will never eat good tasting food again. It is true that your idea of what good food is changes alot. I would skip lunch before eating a McD super size me meal....

[2goldengirl 2,076]

Has anyone started to sabotage their weightloss not on a "mean to" way but "oh I'm gonna have surgery I can have this now" way???

...Anyway what I'm saying or asking is does anyone else think to them selves "eat while you can" sorta thinking?

If so, how do you stop it? It's the boredom thinking and that I'm losing something I suppose but I need to get it under control now before the surgery! Help!! Any advice?

I think a lot of us do something in the way of "food funerals". But there is a way to do this while honoring your commitment to yourself and a way of doing it as something not quite so positive. That six pounds is a warning shot across your bow, and you've heard it, or you wouldn't have posted this. Bravo!

Back in October, before I met with RD and my surgeon, I decided I was going to track all my food. I wasn't going to judge or put "should" in anything, I was simply going to be acocuntable for actually tracking everything I ate and drank. And I did, and I learned some things. I use Sparkpeople, which includes a place for a daily journal. I started taking note of how I was feeling (physically, emotionally) in conjunction with that I was eating and drinking. And I gradually shifted things over to choosing more of the things that made me feel good, and fewer of the things that made me feel crummy afterwards.

And I adopted a pre-pre-op routine. I started practicing for postop life. I had to lose 5 lbs. Between my first and second surgeon's appintments (four weeks apart, which included Christmas and NY). And I have gone out to restaurants and enjoyed favorite things that I know I won't be enjoying for a while, chiefly things like steaks and lamb chops and big salads. But I made it a practice not to eat til I was overfull. I had a lot of restaurant meals that did me for three meals total. I'd get my baked potato loaded and enjoy every bite - but fewer bites. I've had baked potatoes I've made four meals out of.

So I've focused on how I feel, especially after I eat, and on pleasure. I don't eat hurredly or mindlessly. This has worked very well for me. I've enjoyed being in favorite restaurants in the company of people I love. If you find yourself eating something "because I won't be able to later", ask yourself how that choice makes you feel, inside, and outside.

If you eat when you're bored, that's something you really need to get a handle on, pronto. You'll need to find other means to handle boredom. Go for a quick walk, post here, chat with a pal, make yourself a cup of tea, do some stretches. Write in a journal. You, and your body, are worthy of love and respect. Remind yourself of this as often as you need to. I hope this helps!

Edited February 25, 2016 by 2goldengirl

[betterme38 275]

Thank you all, it I suppose is a "food funeral". I want this so much, I am ready to ride rollercoasters, go play at the park with my gradkids, see more grandkids be born, grow old with my husband, just be the best me I can be.

I am 37 and for as long as I can remember I have fought my weight, diets, puking, don't eat this or that, walk, play sports yet I'm still big. I'm done fighting myself, I need this tool and I will NOT get it and regain weight so I take control today.

I did have subway for lunch which is a start, it was grilled chicken on wheat and that's even a bit better ????

Again thank you all each and everyone and I am on MFP also if anyone wants to follow me, I don't know how to search for people on there lol I'm slimmerme34

[rking 484]

Thank you so much @@VSGAnn2014!!!!!

I was telling a friend today, who is considering the sleeve, that I no longer find 'fun' in eating. I am very happy about that. I used to look forward to eating ice cream or whatever it was that I wanted. I ate for emotional reasons as well as enjoying food. food was a hobby. I am only a little over three months post op, and I do not know if it is a mindset, my hard headedness, or what, but food is no longer fun. I eat to get my nutrients. I choose what I eat to meet my Protein goal of 100 g a day. Yes, I still go out to eat with friends and family, and I very much enjoy doing that, enjoy the company, but I am not foaming at the mouth for food. I order my meal, eat my Protein first, and if I am still hungry, have vegetables.

To answer your question, yes, before my pre op diet, I did think that I should and could eat while I could. I did not go nuts, however, but did not get strict at all. I knew I was going to be on a 2 week liquid pre op diet, so I was not very strict with my eating. However, knowing what was coming up for me, part of me wanted to start doing better now, and I did somewhat, but I still let myself eat things I should have been cutting out. Was it the end of the world? No. Surgery went great and everything has gone smoothly for me and I am losing

[Barry W 336]

Not sure if this will help you, but I too have had some thoughts of eating something "fun" while I still can. But you know what? I've already been having that experience for 15 years now - that's why I weighed 295. A few more weeks of "fun" won't add anything new, and at some point, I need to say that enough is enough. That was my internal dialogue anyway, and it worked for me. I started on my pre-op diet early and have lost 25lb with my surgery coming on Monday, so the surgery won't be cancelled, and I will have a good start on things.

This isn't purely physical, part of this is mental and you have to be ready to make a commitment.

[moejoe27 130]

Yea I have done the same thing. Instead of loosing on this preop I have gained