Still struggling, but hanging in there.

[Anghelys Garcia 32]

So I was reading a post of mine from a few months back. Generally the post was about my ongoing battle with depression and body image problems. Unfortunately I'm still going through these issues, and they were there long before my surgery, therefore they're not going anywhere unless I take action.

Moving on from that, I've noticed that I have refrained from being active. This not only helped me physically, but mentally as well. I've just long interest in so many things that made me happy like exercise, getting my nails done, and other personal grooming/me time. Don't get me wrong I still partake in other "me time" rituals. But the most important ones have stopped.

It's a little disappointing to say that I'm almost two years post-op, maintaining my weight, but really depressed. I suppose this is common for many of us as we no longer have the satisfaction of watching the scale drop. We are then left to face real life and the real world. On top of that I'm at a complicated stage in life as it is. I'm a senior in college, and will be graduating in 7months. I have massive anxiety about the future and my career. Overall I just miss feeling happy, I miss that high I once had when I first had my surgery. I'm determined to find it again though.

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[Dar200 285]

I thought of several things as I was reading your post. I've been battling chronic depression and anxiety since I was 14 years old. You have done an awesome thing getting yourself through college while dealing with depression, anxiety and weight loss surgery. You deserve a round of applause! When I was your age, I was chasing that "high" or any good feeling with a lot of self medicating with food, alcohol and other things. I don't suggest going that direction because it just made me more depressed than ever. I went through some therapy but that didn't really help much either. I finally sought help from a good doctor. He explained that some people have severe chemical imbalances in their brains that cause depression. I started on antidepressants at that time. I was really really really lucky that the first one we tried worked well for me, we have adjusted medication over the years when needed. The truth is that science does not know enough about depression yet, as in doctors really have to guess what medication to start you on and sometimes it can take a while to find the right one. Another thing that came to mind is that I always have to carefully watch myself during February because I also have Seasonal Affective Disorder. The theory is we get less sunlight during the winter months which affects our brain chemicals. During the winter months, and especially February, I can't watch movies about anything depressing. Like I usually enjoy movies about World War II but I do not watch them right now. I started watching a movie about civil war in Liberia during the '80's and started crying in the first five minutes. I watch comedies in February. I go outside several times a day when the sun is out and just stroll around with my dog. Or sit out in the sun. It doesn't take long for these things to help me. So, I'm just relating my experiences here. Not trying to be an expert, just saying what has helped me. I hope and wish you the very best and that you will find something to help you through this time.