Has this happened to you or am I delusional?

[besser1961 14]

Good morning everyone! I hope and pray your journey is going well.

My surgery was Oct 26 and I have lost almost 100 # since my heaviest weight and almost 75 since surgery. I am looking and FEELING great!

Now, enough of the bragging...

To my question:

I have noticed at work, in the past, when I made proposals, no matter the situation, certain people would immediately put them down, degrade my knowledge, and more often than not, they would resurface 3-4 months later as their own proposals and the celebrations would begin.

Since my weight loss, my proposals are getting serious consideration and implementation. Even ones 6 months ago that were summarily dismissed and I am reintroducing are being seriously considered.

The only change I can think of is my weight loss.

Am I crazy? Has this happened to anyone else? I have been told my personality hasn't changed and my professionalism is the same.

I know, ride the wave and enjoy but this is nagging at me. I wonder what if I would have lost the weight years ago. Where would I be?

Anyone have work horror/success similar stories?

[Bufflehead 6,358]

I can't say that exact thing has happened to me (though I am treated generally better overall), but there are a lot of published, peer-reviewed scientific papers out there that show fat people are discriminated against in all sorts of settings: less likely to be hired or promoted (with identical resumes, just based on one including a picture of a fat person and the other a slender person), less likely to be admitted to college (same scenario -- identical application files, just pictures), less likely to have their health concerns taken seriously and treated appropriately by health care providers, less likely (for women) to have doors held open for them -- you get the idea.

A lot of people, even fat people and formerly fat people, will try to blow this off and say it's because you have more confidence, positivity, and outgoingness as a normal-weight person. To me, that's victim-blaming. How can it be about confidence and positivity when the studies show that fat people are discriminated against based merely on a picture of them?

So no, I do not think you are imagining things at all. Fat people are treated terribly by our culture, I am sorry to say.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I know the term "privilege" can start up rabid debates.

But if you accept the concept that certain types of human beings are, for a variety of reasons, generally granted "extra points" simply because of their physical attributes, then yes -- society favors those who have the appearance of good health, attractiveness, and (in current-day Western society) the absence of obesity.

Can other personal attributes overcome the societal disadvantages of obesity? Yes, of course.

But eliminate your obesity, and your odds in all societal competitions are improved.

[ssflbelle 829]

I am not in the type of job where this kind of situation could happen to me but no I do not think you are delusional. In fact I feel Bufflehead clearly showed why it is so important for there to be and for us to support organizations like Obesity Action Coalition. There convention this year is in Washington DC and I am hoping to be able to make the trip and take a stand in our Nations Capitol.

[bengaldude 27]

I agree that there is negative behavior against significantly overweight folk. However, I don't think you can dismiss the internal factor so easily. I'm betting you perceive yourself differently, I know I do. When I was this weight many, many years ago I didn't have the level of confidence that I do today. You feel differently about yourself when your weight is going down or maintaining a healthy weight than you do when you are seriously overweight or gaining. So, maybe the only outward thing that has changed is your appearance, but perhaps you are exuding more confidence as well. My $.02.

[Babbs 14,681]

I agree that there is negative behavior against significantly overweight folk. However, I don't think you can dismiss the internal factor so easily. I'm betting you perceive yourself differently, I know I do. When I was this weight many, many years ago I didn't have the level of confidence that I do today. You feel differently about yourself when your weight is going down or maintaining a healthy weight than you do when you are seriously overweight or gaining. So, maybe the only outward thing that has changed is your appearance, but perhaps you are exuding more confidence as well. My $.02.

I concur with this. I have found I'm much more confident, much more outgoing, and more social than I was before. Now don't get me wrong, I was no shrinking violet before, but I think along with the other things I'm projecting, the biggest one is happiness. People respond positively to happy people.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

I'll concur with @@Babbs and add this:

When I was carrying 80-100 pounds more than I do now, I was in constant pain or, at best, great physical discomfort. Moving was so hard. My knees were killing me. My back hurt. My shoulders hurt.

It's hard being that fat. Really, really hard. And those pains and difficulties were visible on my face and through my posture and movement.

Ye gads! I'm so glad I'm not in that situation anymore!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,444]

It's some of each. No way of knowing how you may be presenting yourself differently, @@besser1961, but you more than likely are. Moreso, though, is that others are now taking you [more] seriously as you fit the images they have of themselves and the image of those they wish to be linked with in the minds of others.

Why waste your time on speculating where you'd be had you lost weight long ago? That was then, this is now. You weren't ready or some such then. Focus on the great, multi-pronged gift you're giving yourself now.