What Is Your Biggest Fear?

[ange117 93]

My biggest fear is malnutrition down the road... Neurological damage from Vitamin deficiencies, osteoporosis at an early age, being stuck getting Iron transfusions for the rest of my life... I'm facing my surgery date now (4/4) and I actually put the entire process off for almost 6 weeks just to talk myself into it. I don't have any comorbidities right now, so I'm really scared to trade off my weight for other health issues.

[Dub 9,922]

My biggest fear is a moving target.

Prior to surgery.....my fear was that I had become a broken down old man.....defined by his pain and forever discovering new limitations and having to live within them.

Leading up to the final days before the surgery my fear was that I would not be successful.

Now.....4+ months later I have other concerns.

I know for a fact that I'll reach my goal weight but fear what I'll look like when I do......how much excess skin? How much muscle can I pack on during this process with my bum shoulder and failed hernia repair? Where will the funds come from for the plastics that will be most likely? Will the plastics go smoothly and yield a good result ?

My other fears are what will I become by then? Being reasonably pain free and feeling better has flooded me with relief. I don't get stressed about stuff anymore.....even stuff that maybe I should be stressed about. I simply can't be bothered with it. I want to be surrounded by positive people and laugh.

I have fears that I'll make a blunder and seek their company and it will lead to a failed marriage that will impact my son at a crucial time in his development. I fear that the alternative may be to suck it up....stay in it for him.....and then resentment will grow and I become the grumpy bastard I was six months ago.

I fear leading with my heart and not my head.......yet my head is warped by the old self image and low confidence......the heart never lies......yet it acts on impulse.

I fear complacency. Now is a time with a heap of self improvement taking place and I never want to stop this. So many areas where I can improve.....I never want to let off the pedal on this.

Mostly, I fear not living each day to it's full potential.

[Djmohr 6,965]

I had so many fears along the way but given I am nearly to goal my biggest fear right now is regain once I hit maintenance and saving enough money for plastics. I have so much loose skin and I really did not think it would bother me as much as it does.

It makes me feel incomplete. I was expecting to have some but not realizing that it would be literally everywhere. It will likely take 2 or 3 surgeries to deal with the loose skin in my tummy arms legs, butt and breasts. I will have to prioritize for sure!

[Marie2016 87]

My biggest fear is that WLS will affect my marriage. I have a strong marriage. My husband is supportive of my decision. I read that there is a high percentage of divorces. I hope that is not the case. I think keeping communication lines open should help on this front.

[kemahaney 14]

That is normal. Right up until I rolled into the operating room that I was having doubts.

My mom told me to relax and that it was normal.

Im pre op and im scared im gonne die. I know that very few people do but it freaks me out

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[Valentina 2,642]

After four years of fear, crushing and smothering fear-of everything and everybody, I can finally say that I today, have NO fears.

If I don't reach goal, I'll deal with it.

If I regain, I'll deal with that too.

I have no fear of any future plastic surgery or any surgery. I can not think of a more peaceful way to ease out of this world.

If I never meet another "soulmate", I'll live my life out peacefully independent .

"One never knows our own strength until being strong is our only choice."

[jjod 197]

I am pre-op (surgery on Thursday) and right now I am so scared of the general anethesia during the surgery, I am almost in tears when I sit and dwell on it. I've had a C-Section, but it's not the same. I have every faith in the fact I'll be fine after surgery, it's just the getting there that's the hard part for me. I really hope that there will be some anxiety help for me on Thursday and I'm scared of looking like an irrational drama queen, but I just can't help it. :/

My main fears for after are regain and loose skin.

Good luck!!

I found the surgery ten times easier than my two cesareans. Plus I got to rest afterward and not take care of a newborn.

Remember the rewards are huge!!!!!!!

[SkinnyDown 409]

It's been interesting reading through what people's fears are.

None of these things did I consider fears....and I knew some could happen, others, I had no idea, and they have.

I can tell you, I'm at the I just bought a wig part of the program...because I've lost that much hair.

My cardiologist is considering putting a pacemaker in me, because my heart rate is so low, and I have bradycardia now, since my surgery. I was NOT even aware that this could happen. I've lost so much weight, so fast, that they say my heart just slowed down, as it didn't have to work so hard, but it slowed down too much. They are getting heart rate measurements in the low 30's when I sleep, and mid 50's when I am active. I am so dizzy and feel faint all the time, and exhausted.

I cannot describe to you the loose skin issue. It's horrific. Keep in mind, I have been for the most part, morbidly obese my entire life, I am 50, and I had many many years of stretching out my skin, and abusing that skin of mine. I have gone from a full C cup to a small B cup, and I still have 61 lbs. to goal, (150) which will be a 195 lb weight loss. Then i'd like to lose a bit more, since I am so short. Although to be honest the smallest weight I can remember on me is 179 in 7th grade. I'll probably be an A cup when all is said and done. My insurance won't cover a boob job. I know that, or arms. I have batwings. I should be able to get thighs and belly done.

All these things...horrific in and of themselves. My main fear is still... getting to my goal. Or that 'losing window' closing on me, before my goal is met. I could care less about food now, and I love ....no I seriously mean it... I LOVE that food holds no interest to me anymore. I don't really fear regaining. I eat because I have to. I don't even want to, I have to.

Thanks everyone for sharing....it helps I think, to be open, and honest and real. These fears we have are not without merit or reason.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

All the fears are real and like someone said...I think i have experienced almost all of them.

What is under considered by many is how emotional the huge shifts in life can be post weight loss. There is a reason I call 2013 as the year I was a little bit crazy. I am much happier now than I ever was obese but I went through some pretty tough adjustments, self consciousness etc before I became so comfortable in my own skin as a slim person.

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[snickysnack78 131]

My fear like most is regain and not hitting my goal weight. I sometimes wake up in the morning and feel like I gained all the weight back, but I know that it's in my head.

[AnA92212 577]

I think re-gaining is one of my biggest fears for the future. I am at the weight I said was my goal, but 5 pounds from that of my doctor. I've been stalled for over a month now and it is frustrating trying to find the right combo between working out, calories, and rest. Right now, my fear is that i will never be satisfied. Everyone tells me how great I look and that "I will get blown away" and that "there is a limit to how skinny a person can be". I just don't see it. I am not confident in my own skin yet. My husband (who also had surgery) and had a heart to heart with me. He told me that he needs me to be satisfied. He is concerned that I will become obsessive about losing these 5 pounds and then I still won't be happy and I will continue to obsess which can dictate my moods somewhat. I think this stall has been the hardest outside of the initial 3 week stall. I guess because I am so close to my doctor's goal.

[Annek2014 58]

My biggest fear is regain. In fact I am obsessive about it and now have anorexic tendencies. I am terrified of regain. I just got out of the hospital last Wednesday after an 8 day stay.

I see a lot of posts and articles about regain, but very little about anorexia or bulimia after weight loss surgery. I do realize it is a control issue. Before I ate for comfort, now I am using the control with the scale.

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Not sure if you saw my remarks but I have decided to not fear regain because that leads to anxiety and potentially other issues...like eating disorders. I know it's easier said than done but I didn't go through all this to trade in my poor obesity related health and quality of life for a different set of unhealthy behavior. There are times when I feel the twinge of all this - it is tempting to look to feed the empty hole in the heart with skinnyness instead of food but i remind myself over and over...health and a good life is #1 - number on a scale, vanity etc are secondary..way down on the list .

I think re-gaining is one of my biggest fears for the future. I am at the weight I said was my goal, but 5 pounds from that of my doctor. I've been stalled for over a month now and it is frustrating trying to find the right combo between working out, calories, and rest. Right now, my fear is that i will never be satisfied. Everyone tells me how great I look and that "I will get blown away" and that "there is a limit to how skinny a person can be". I just don't see it. I am not confident in my own skin yet. My husband (who also had surgery) and had a heart to heart with me. He told me that he needs me to be satisfied. He is concerned that I will become obsessive about losing these 5 pounds and then I still won't be happy and I will continue to obsess which can dictate my moods somewhat. I think this stall has been the hardest outside of the initial 3 week stall. I guess because I am so close to my doctor's goal.

My biggest fear is regain. In fact I am obsessive about it and now have anorexic tendencies. I am terrified of regain. I just got out of the hospital last Wednesday after an 8 day stay.

I see a lot of posts and articles about regain, but very little about anorexia or bulimia after weight loss surgery. I do realize it is a control issue. Before I ate for comfort, now I am using the control with the scale.< /p>

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[Elode 8,093]

While I'm sure many worry about gain weight and I have too, at this point I'm more concerned with losing too much!

[newmebithebypass 713]

im still preop but i worry about my marriage honestly my hubby is the best thing to happen to me and i am afraid of losing him. i know our marriage is strong but i still worry