Food was never the problem.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

TL; DR: this is a post about 12-step recovery. Your mileage may vary.

food was never the problem.

Food was the solution. The problem has always been the build up of normal human emotions.

This is not an original thought from me, JWM. I heard this in an OA podcast. The speaker, Harlan G., discusses the twelve step recovery program of Overeaters Anonymous in detail, and at length, and describes how he has recovered from compulsive overeating, giving him 17 years of abstinence and several hundred pounds of weight loss, from a high weight of 700 pounds.

I am blessed to have had the resources to get WLS and my LapBand nearly two years ago. I am blessed to have found my way back to OA and am vigorously working a program of recovery that addresses the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of my disease of food addiction. I need both.

Since my surgery in March of 2014, I filed for divorce and moved out of my home with my college age daughters, leaving behind an abusive and controlling spouse who will not let go. He continues to be openly aggressive to me and our daughters and we have gone "no contact" as much as possible. The divorce should come to a conclusion three months from now. This two years had been, by far, the most stressful of my life.

I began therapy for my divorce shortly after moving out, and my therapist recommended Codependents Anonymous. CODA helped immediately. From there, I soon found my way back to OA which I had been in decades before. I began working the program, and finally got a sponsor in December last year.

Working the OA program with a sponsor and attending lots of meetings gave my weight loss the kick in the pants it needed. I found myself addressing the daily emotions head on instead of hiding in the food. I was now able to make the changes I wasn't willing to make the first year and a half after my WLS. I put down the fried food. I put down the alcohol. I put down the prescription pain pills that I "needed" for my knee pain. I put down the buckets of movie crapcorn I was eating every week. I put down the Thai noodles that I would fantasize about during my work day and run to like a lover at 5pm.

I put these things down and I felt so much better. I didn't feel good. I "felt" better. I felt pain better. I felt sadness better. I felt anxiety better. I felt worry better. I felt like a walking, talking rubber band wound up tight and ready to snap. And sometimes I snapped.

I went to OA and CODA meetings nearly every day. I went to my therapist every two weeks. But once every two weeks isn't enough for the daily buildup of normal human emotions that is life. And that is where my OA sponsor and the people in these 12-step programs come in.

I have a network of help that I can rely on daily. Whenever I need it. The miracle of modern texting allows me to vent to an understanding person 24/7. And sooner or later that person replies and I get a perspective on my problem or situation I didn't have before. I reach out and get out of my own head every day to help somebody else. And I am recovering.

One day at a time, I am recovering. I no longer think about food all day long. I plan it, I commit it, I log it, I stick to it. And consequently, my LapBand miraculously is now at the right level of fill and works perfectly.

I also practice self care in other, important ways. I listen to meditation recordings. I pull out my markers and I color in adult coloring books. I get foot and shoulder massages monthly. I meet with friends weekly. I give my dog his nightly Raindrop oil massage and it relaxes us both.

Food was never the problem. Today it is no longer the solution.

This has been my path of recovery. I expect I'll be on a path of recovery for the rest of my life. That's cool. Today I have a life.

[Jessee3897 114]

I can't like this enough. Thank you for sharing.

Sent from my 6045O using the BariatricPal App

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Love it!

[jj7481 363]

Excellent post. Thanks for sharing!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Wow! Thank you.